It's All Fun & Games Till Someone Breaks a Paw

Hello my dear friends. My captor is nursing a broken hand. There are several theories on how it happened. Some say she punched a wall while watching the Bad News Bills, once again, snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Some say she punched the first democrat she saw following the election. I have it on good authority that she actually tripped over a tree root and fell on her face, well, on her hand. hehehe. I'm really sorry I missed it. It happened in Niagara Falls while she was visiting her parents. Anywho, it's proven to be a rather difficult week for the captor as she is "bi-handual", not "ambidextrous". Ambidextrous people are GOOD with both hands. Bi-handual people (yes, I made that up) just USE both hands. It's not unlike the captor to simply trip and fall. She's kind of a clod. But, she usually doesn't break that easily. I, for one, am doing my part to remind her what a goober she is by stepping on her boo boo paw every chance I get It's been really fun to wake her up that way. I swear, she screams like a little girl! So, she's down a paw for 4-6 weeks. Luckily it was her left hand, not the dominant right hand. And, it could have been worse. If she hadn't gotten her hand down she would have landed square on her face! That would have been a real hoot! The real kicker for me is that the captor is such a city dweller. She hates all things nature and then she was taken out by a tree! Poetic Justice at it's finest.
Po

It's Finally Here!

Hello my dear friends. First, let me apologize for being so lax in my blogging. I know how important my insight is in your lives. Who else could so accurately point out all of the things that are wrong with you, thus, allowing you all to live better lives. But, enough about me. You already know how important I am to you! The reason I have been avoiding the blog, and social media all together, is because this election season has really driven me to the edge. You know that I try to avoid discussing politics but sometimes you just have to let the fur fly. So, my dear liberal friends, now is the time to leave. This election season has really lowered all of our quality of life. It's been disgusting, despicable and dishonest. It's been an embarrassment. So, with the big day on the horizon, I would like to take this opportunity to both enlighten and insult you. First, if I hear one more allegedly intelligent person say "we probably won't know who the President is on Wednesday night" I'm going to blow. The President is Barak Obama. He is the President today and he'll be the President until (at least) January 20th.Semantics? Maybe. But people (mostly reporters) who say it sound really stupid. I don't like stupid people. Now, if you let Bruce Springsteen, Cher, Katy Perry or God forbid Kathy Griffin, influence who you vote for, you should not be allowed to vote. When a politician who has been voted out of office runs for that office again and you vote for them, you should be slapped, really hard, right in the head. When you make a decision as important as President of the United States based on a single issue, like your genitalia and how you choose to use it, you do a disservice to yourself and everyone else. The world is alot bigger than you. Get over yourself. And, on that note, let me clear up a few things. I have seen thousands of commercials saying that if you vote for a republican, they will eliminate government funding for Planned Parenthood, thus depriving low income women of mammograms. Well, Planned Parenthood doesn't provide mammograms to anyone and they never have. If your one of those people who have been bombarding social media with pro Obama propaganda touting his amazing record on gay rights, you'll be amazed to realize that he's had FOUR YEARS to repeal DOMA, which by the way was made law by his savior Bill Clinton, and he's done nothing. Wake up and smell the coffee. You're being used. So, when you go to the voting booth tomorrow, and since you're still reading this I really hope you do vote, ask yourself if this Country is really headed in the right direction. If you truly believe it is, then your choice is clear. If, however, you believe as I do that we are headed down a dangerous path, then you know what to do. God Bless America!
Princess PoKitty

This World is Exhausting!

Hello my dear friends. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the people struggling to recover from the wrath of Superstorm Sandy. My heart also goes out to the rest of us still suffering through Superstorm Political Ad! Will it NEVER END! I'm telling you people I'm about to go whatever the Kitty equivalent of postal is. It's everywhere and it is relentless! I know you know what I'm saying. It doesn't matter what side you're on, it all sucks! Now, today, Thursday, November 1, 2012, I turned on the radio and what to my wondering ears did appear? F#$%*%$ CHRISTMAS MUSIC! Please, don't get me wrong, I Love Christmas but come on. Two full months of Christmas carols would drive even the heartiest of revelers off the deep end. Let's face it, and you can do the math, there are only about 20 legitimate Christmas songs, right? Each one is about 3 minutes long, you with me? That means by Christmas Day we will have heard each song approximately 1320 times! Okay, there are plenty of "fun Christmas ditties" to mix in. I'll give you that. Let's add another 20 songs. Now we will have heard each one of them 660 times in 8 weeks. Can anyone name a song they would like to hear 12 times a day for 55 days? Talk about crushing the Christmas Spirit. Now all we need are a few of the annual lawsuits to remove any mention of Christ and the Mas Holiday Season will be upon us! I just can't wait. Can you?
Po

Batten Down the Hatches! It's Frankenstorm!

Take Cover People! Hurricane Sandy has his/her sights set on Upstate New York. All of the national weather pundits are talking about New York or Boston but, if you follow the eye of that storm, it's pointed right at Syracuse. Yikes! That's where I'm being held captive. It is a rain storm, not a snow storm, but it's a BIG ONE! They're calling it the "perfect storm". I'm guessing that they think that's clever because of the movie. I prefer FrankenStorm, which actually is clever. Sandy cut through Cuba with 110 mph winds this morning and is gaining strength. There are a couple of factors that could make Sandy a real bear. First, it could hit during a full moon when tides are at their highest, increasing storm surge and flooding. Cuba got smacked with 29 foot waves! Second, many trees still have leaves, increasing the chances of fallen branches taking down power lines. Sandy isn't supposed to hit this area until early next week and, what force it will bring depends on where it hits land. Right now, if you draw a straight line from the eye's current position it cuts right through downtown Syracuse. I'm crossing my paws that this will change. However, the time to act is NOW people! Do you have enough supplies? You should have at least a week's worth of bottled water, captive food, kitty litter, catnip and whatever you people need to survive. Make sure you have fresh batteries. It's my understanding that you people can't see in the dark. Do you have a car charger for your cell phone? You should. Don't be a goober, like my captor, who thinks emergency supplies consist of peanut butter, crackers and wine. Although, that works. Anyway people, I'm not saying to hit the panic button. I'm just saying it never hurts to plan ahead, just in case. And, remember the most important thing, in an emergency, save the Kitties first! Good luck to you.
Sway

A Few Things on My Mind

Hello my dear friends. I have, thus far, resisted the urge to blog about how deeply and profoundly the Buffalo Bills suck this year. Let me just say that the captor is already in Stage 4 of the 5 Stages of Bills Football (disappointment). I'm quite certain that Stage 5 (anger) is a few short weeks away. Enough said about that mess. One of the things that caught my attention recently is a lawsuit, filed by the parents of a 14 year old Maryland girl, against the makers of Monster Energy Drink. The girl died of cardiac arrhythmia caused by caffeine toxicity. It's a technical term that basically means she overdosed on caffeine. Her parents say she drank two 24oz Monster Drinks in a 24 hour period and it killed her. Tragic. There's a couple problems with the lawsuit. First, the girl suffered from an inherited disorder that can weaken blood vessels. Second, Monster Energy Drinks clearly state on the can that they are "Not recommended for children or people sensitive to caffeine". There are 5 such claims that have been filed against the makers of Monster dating back to 2004. Monster, the #1 energy drink in the country, has 240 milligrams of caffeine in a 24oz can or 7-times the amount of caffeine in a 12oz can of cola. My problem with this whole thing is obvious. Why are you letting your 14 year old drink 48ozs of anything, other than water, on any given day, let alone a highly charged energy drink? The courts will decided the latest case of parental responsibility vs deep pockets.  Next on my radar is a move to designate cheerleading as a official sport so they can regulate it. Reported cheerleading injuries among young girls are growing, although they remain far behind gymnastics and soccer. I'm all for designating cheerleading as an official sport. Not so it can be regulated but because cheerleaders are usually the best athletes on the field. Don't agree? Take a football, throw it into the air and catch it. Not too hard, right? Now, take the person next to you, throw them into the air and catch them. A little trickier, right? 3.6 million kids, over the age of 6, participated in cheerleading activities last year. Cheerleading should be designated an official sport so cheerleaders can get funding like all other official sports. If the sport can be made safer, it should be, but lets make the changes for the right reasons.
Finally, I heard on the news yesterday that in the Presidential Election, democrats were leading in the early voting. Some 350,000 people have already cast their vote for President. My question is; How do they know who is leading? Aren't they supposed to be secret ballots that are opened after the polls close on election night? Maybe the rules have changed. Interesting though, don't you think?
Po

Political Content-you've been warned!

Hello my dear friends. It's been awhile. As you know, I try to stay out of the political fray as much as possible but you people keep dragging me back in! Let me save some of you some time. If you are still an "undecided" voter or someone who doesn't plan to vote, stop reading now and go away. I don't like you. Next, if you are an unwavering supporter of the current administration, stop reading now. You're not going to like this anyway. Okay, for the rest of you, what the hell is wrong with people? That "debate" last night was a  travesty. The "issue" emerging from that epic waste of time was Romney's comment about a "binder full of women". There are now memes across the world, a Farcebook page with 250 thousand "likes" and the Pres can't repeated it enough. Why? Because their "Big Bird" distraction has run it's course. When you are nothing but a narcissistic empty suit with a disastrous track record, you must distract the minions with subterfuge. Candy Crowley is a disgrace to the profession of journalism. Not just because she let her liberal colors bleed through, jumping to her feet to defend the Prez, because today she tried to back peddle to save face. If you're going to be a douche bag, at least have the ovaries to stand behind your actions. Since the "undecided" audience applauded her display, it's safe to assume they weren't all that undecided, were they? Did anyone else find it odd that everyone who asked an Obama friendly question ("How are you different from George Bush"; "I voted for you last time, what have you done to earn my vote again" etc.) appeared to have never before read the question they were reading? Because every one of them stumbled miserably over what they were reading? It sure seemed odd to me. How about this revelation: Prez "Sure gas prices were low back then, the economy was on the verge of collapse. Prices are higher now because the the economy is improving and we are going to continue to grow this economy".  So your plan is to continue to let gas prices rise? Lied about Libya.The Prez now says he declared the murders in Libya a "terrorist attack" the day after it happened. If that's true (and I don't believe it is) why did he, the Ambassador to the UN and the Secretary of State make 20 different TV appearances claiming it was a "spontaneous outburst over a YouTube video? Lying then or lying now, doesn't really matter, still lying.  Lied about reducing Federal drilling permits. It's public record. There are 62% fewer Federal drilling permits today than there were in 2008. On and On and On. Blah Blah Blah.
Okay. If you're still reading I'll assume we are of the same mind, so I will let you in on my new people meter.
Do you know a CLOOTAIDAL? (pronounced CLUE-tay-dal) Crazed Liberal Out Of Touch And In Denial About Life?
If you believe everything that is wrong in this Country today is still George Bush's fault, you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe we're safer today then we were 4 years ago, you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe spending trillions of dollars on "green energy initiatives" will lower gas prices, you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe you're poor because other people are rich, well, you're a loser and an asshole as well as a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe 4 more years down this path will improve your life you're delusional and you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe the Government should provide you with the general comforts of success, you're probably a Canadian and you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
Finally, If you believe I, Princess PoKitty, Ruler of all Kittydome, would make a better President than anyone in the running, you are an intelligent, well informed, well adjusted human being.
I shall leave you with this. When you find yourself trapped in a conversation with a CLOOTAIDAL, tell them that all of your black friends are voting for Romney. When they ask you to prove it, call them a racist and walk away. You'll still be able to hear their head explode in the distance.
Po

Crime Could Pay-In New York

Hello People. Do you know what your Governor is up to? Let me first say that I have, in general, been a fan of Governor Cuomo. However, his latest proposal has my fur standing on end! The Gubner (yes, he has been demoted from Governor to Gubner) want to set up a program that allows convicts to sign up for Medicaid while incarcerated and have them receive it upon their release. The Gubner and his people say this will help "curb the spread of diseases contracted in prison". Apparently, according to the Department of Health, "The spread of communicable and non-communicable diseases tend to be higher in the prison population". Really? I'm shocked! Are you saying that criminals, as a whole, are more likely to be unhealthy than the general law abiding population? Hmmm. I wonder if it has anything to do with their overall lifestyle choices. Probably not. It's probably the whole incarcerated thing. It stands to reason then that we should provide them with free (taxpayer funded) health insurance. After all, we wouldn't want New York's ex-cons infecting their super model girlfriends with something they picked up at Rikers Island or the County Pen. We want to be sure that those newly released pedophiles, pimps and gang bangers are up to date on all of their shots. A Health Felon is a Happy Felon! And, we wouldn't want that possible happiness to be predicated on finding an actual JOB that would include or allow you to purchase health care benefits. That's the (new) American Way! Why stop at health care? Let's hook all of New York's ex-con population with the full State Welfare Package. It is, after all. the finest in the land! Start with Medicaid (free medical, dental, eye, prescription, etc.), throw in the Housing Choice Voucher (Section 8) to get your rent paid, add SNAP (that's what they call food stamps now so there's no "shame" in free food). They'll also need Temporary Assistance (that would be your spending money). "Temporary" in New York, by the way, means 60 months (Yes, 5 whole years). Let's see...Free rent, food, health care, spending money, that should make the transition from criminal to productive, law abiding citizen a little easier. By God Gubner, I think you're on to something! "Welcome to New York! Commit a Crime, Do Your Time and We'll Take Care of the Rest"! Why, this is brilliant. Our jails/prisons will be empty in no time! Once we take all of that pressure off, there will be no reason for criminals to repeat offend. I sure the only reason they committed a crime in the first place was because they had no health insurance. This is awesome. Gubner, I stand corrected. You are the man! Now, all we have to do is spread the word to the 2.2 million working New Yorkers, who don't have health care, to knock over their neighborhood liquor store.....
Sway