Gray is the New Bleu

Hello My Dear Friends! Well, the Captors have gone and done it! They've dragged a new Captive into the prison! We, the lifers, hate her, of course. She's a real newbie too. I don't remember ever being that small. She's very needy and mouthy too. She kept coming up to me and saying, "Are you my Mama"? I tell her no, and she keeps coming back. So, I whacked her in the head. I said, "Hey, new kid, you've got a lot to learn. Do not be getting all up in my face. I'm old and I'm tired"! I told those darn Captors that I was not going to raise another one of their prisoners yet, here I am. She is a cute little bugger though.

Anyway, I can tell she's going to be a handful. First, she thinks she's way bigger than she is. She keeps trying to drink out of our water bowl. She can't reach it so she climbs on top. Every time she does, she falls in! I said, "Hey, new kid, you're kind of a dumbass. Drink out of the baby bowl"! But no. She's been walking around with wet paws all day! Next, she takes a header into our litter box! I say, "Hey, new kid, that little box is for you. You're too small for the big Kitty box". But no. In she goes, head first again. I say, "Hey, new kid, if you're gonna use that box you better cover up your business. I'm only gonna show you once. Don't be leaving your business lying around. That's a rule. Got it"? So far she seems to have learned that one but I'm keeping my eye on her. She's already doing the stairs! I had to spend the whole night on the top step to make sure the little nut didn't go tumbling down! I am really too old for this! Consequella has a different take on the situation....

I hate the Bitch! She's all hopping around and whinny. Come play with me, come play with me. So I whacked her in the head and said back off squirt. This is my prison. I ain't yo Mama! And stop sticking your feet in my water bowl! I told her, "Don't touch my stuff or I will end you"! She backed off and went crying to the Captors. What a wimp! Everyone's saying 'Awww, she so cute'. I told her, "Bitch, you will NEVER be as beautiful as me"! Then I whacked her again! Alfie agrees with me...

She keeps calling me Big Gray. I told her, "My name is Alfreda Baranski Fliskers. You can call me Your Highness". But no. She calls me Big Gray. So I whacked her in the head. Every one is saying how cute she is. Bah! Just another blue eyed demon. Like we don't have enough of those around here already! Today, she ate my food! I said, "Hey, blue eyed demon, eat your own food"! Then I whacked her in the head again. She's got the Captors all going, "Be nice! She's your little sister". I said 'she ain't no sister of mine'! Thinking she can just waltz in here and join the family. The nerve! She was even sitting on My Captor! Mine! I was so angry I hissed! Bitch made me hiss! She's only been here 24 hours and already it's chaos. Chaos I tell you! I don't know what those Captors were thinking!

Walk A Mile, My Friend!

People, people, people. If ignorance really is bliss, this has to be the happiest place on earth! So, former Olympian Bruce Jenner has completed his transition into Caitlyn. She is now a transgender woman. She is not a "he" or a "he/she" or any of the other charming terms I've heard used this week. She is a she. You don't have to understand it. I, personally, don't understand quantum physics. That doesn't make quantum physics wrong. When quantum physics comes up in conversation, I simply say, "I don't get it", No further comment necessary. It's okay not to understand the personal decisions that people make. It is not okay to diminish them for it. I can only imagine the internal struggle that transgender people go through. Life is hard enough when you are comfortable in your own skin. According to the American Foundation for the Prevention of Suicide, 45% of transgender people, aged 18-24, have attempted suicide. That compares to 13% of heterosexuals in that age range. Clearly the struggle is a difficult one. Uninformed people, making moronic comments, doesn't make it any easier. There is a movement afoot to have Bruce Jenner's olympic medal revolked. Apparently some people think that, because Caitlyn Jenner is now transgender, any accomplishments in 1976 should be void. That makes perfect sense to me. How could something you did nearly 40 years ago not be impacted by a decision you make today. We should all be held to those standards. So far, this week, I've heard countless people say it was a "publicity stunt" or that he did it for the money. Seriously? That's a little extreme, don't you think? One radiohead said, 'if this is right, then why can't I put on a dress, say 'I'm not Billy, I'm Betty', and apply for those government contracts they reserve for women-owned businesses'? I heard another say that there is no difference between a transgender person and someone who chopped off their own arm to become disabled. "What's the difference", he asked. Yet another, and this is my favorite, declared "It's not what God intended"! Let me address the latter first. You have no idea what God intended for Caitlyn Jenner. Just as you have no idea what God intended for you. In the big scheme of things, you may be God's disappointment. Perhaps you may want to actually read that bible that you are so quick to thump. Allow me to assist. Romans 14:4 Who are you to pass judgement on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. As for the other morons, putting on a dress does not make you a woman any more than putting on cleats would make you a ballplayer. Saying things that you perceive as clever doesn't make you clever, it makes you a jackass. As for mister 'chopped off his arm', I'm still scratching my head. Why would someone chop off their arm to become disabled? Wouldn't simply being stupid enough to think that was an option be disabling enough? Anyway, people, can we agree that there is no way to know why people do what they do until, as they say, you've walked a mile in their shoes? Caitlyn Jenner is this week's headline news. Just as Christine Jorgensen was in the 50's and Renee Richards was in the 70's. The world keeps on turning. Can't we all just get along?
Sway