Gray is the New Bleu

Hello My Dear Friends! Well, the Captors have gone and done it! They've dragged a new Captive into the prison! We, the lifers, hate her, of course. She's a real newbie too. I don't remember ever being that small. She's very needy and mouthy too. She kept coming up to me and saying, "Are you my Mama"? I tell her no, and she keeps coming back. So, I whacked her in the head. I said, "Hey, new kid, you've got a lot to learn. Do not be getting all up in my face. I'm old and I'm tired"! I told those darn Captors that I was not going to raise another one of their prisoners yet, here I am. She is a cute little bugger though.

Anyway, I can tell she's going to be a handful. First, she thinks she's way bigger than she is. She keeps trying to drink out of our water bowl. She can't reach it so she climbs on top. Every time she does, she falls in! I said, "Hey, new kid, you're kind of a dumbass. Drink out of the baby bowl"! But no. She's been walking around with wet paws all day! Next, she takes a header into our litter box! I say, "Hey, new kid, that little box is for you. You're too small for the big Kitty box". But no. In she goes, head first again. I say, "Hey, new kid, if you're gonna use that box you better cover up your business. I'm only gonna show you once. Don't be leaving your business lying around. That's a rule. Got it"? So far she seems to have learned that one but I'm keeping my eye on her. She's already doing the stairs! I had to spend the whole night on the top step to make sure the little nut didn't go tumbling down! I am really too old for this! Consequella has a different take on the situation....

I hate the Bitch! She's all hopping around and whinny. Come play with me, come play with me. So I whacked her in the head and said back off squirt. This is my prison. I ain't yo Mama! And stop sticking your feet in my water bowl! I told her, "Don't touch my stuff or I will end you"! She backed off and went crying to the Captors. What a wimp! Everyone's saying 'Awww, she so cute'. I told her, "Bitch, you will NEVER be as beautiful as me"! Then I whacked her again! Alfie agrees with me...

She keeps calling me Big Gray. I told her, "My name is Alfreda Baranski Fliskers. You can call me Your Highness". But no. She calls me Big Gray. So I whacked her in the head. Every one is saying how cute she is. Bah! Just another blue eyed demon. Like we don't have enough of those around here already! Today, she ate my food! I said, "Hey, blue eyed demon, eat your own food"! Then I whacked her in the head again. She's got the Captors all going, "Be nice! She's your little sister". I said 'she ain't no sister of mine'! Thinking she can just waltz in here and join the family. The nerve! She was even sitting on My Captor! Mine! I was so angry I hissed! Bitch made me hiss! She's only been here 24 hours and already it's chaos. Chaos I tell you! I don't know what those Captors were thinking!