Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello My Dear Friends! You can't pick up a paper or turn on a TV or radio without hearing about the critical upcoming Iowa caucus. Candidates camp out there, shaking babies and kissing hands. They eat in diners and bowling alleys, patting the backs of every Iowan they can find, in hopes of gaining their support. Could someone please tell me when and why we bestowed this almighty political power on a group of hayseeds sitting in a cornfield? It's mind boggling.
Remember all of those unaccompanied Central American youths that have been pouring over our southern border since 2011? Well, apparently the government doesn't. As it turns out, according to a recent Senate investigation, the Office of Refugee Resettlement (a branch of the department of Health and Human Services) failed to do proper background checks on the adults who claimed the children. They also failed to do any follow up investigation. The result? Thousands of these children were actually turned over to human traffickers and child abusers. Welcome to America! We know this now because several Guatemalan boys were found in a run down trailer park near Marion, Ohio, where they were being held captive and forced to work at a local egg farm. 120,000 of these youths have been placed, or misplaced, since 2011. Again, mind boggling.
As you know, I do like to learn something new every day. Today, I learned a doozy! Allow me to share. A group of students, aged 13-18, were given a paper and asked to select the "gender you self-identify with". Now, I'm all for being who you are and being true to yourself, but they were given 12 choices! 12 "gender" choices. What? Did I miss a memo? Among their choices were "tri-gender", "non-binary gender", "pangender" and "cisgender". I'm not going to lie to you. I had to look these up. The "tri" really threw me because, call me old fashioned, I was only aware of two genders. Turns out the third is really just a mix of the first two. Tri-gender people, according to the definition I found, is a person that moves between the two genders depending on their mood. So if you identify as a boy, a girl and a boygirl, you're tri-gender. Same deal for non-binary and pan gender. It seems to me that some one is really trying to confuse people. This brings me to my favorite, "Cisgender". This, according to definition, is a person who "experiences a match between the gender they were assigned at birth, their bodies and their personal identity". So, boy or girl, right? I'm a cisgender individual! What do you know. It does seem like an awfully convoluted query to pose to a 13 year old, doesn't it?
Oh well. Enjoy the weekend!
Po

Sweet Jiminy Crickets, People!

Hello My Dear Friends! As this world spins wildly out of control, I'm finding it harder and harder to determine who is confused and who is just plain stupid. Let's examine: There is a self-proclaimed Socialist leading the democratic Presidential polls in both Iowa and New Hampshire. I'm thinking this is a 50/50 split, half confused, half just plain stupid. Considering a recent poll, conducted by the American Council of Trustee and Alumni, found that one in ten college graduates thought that Judge Judy was on the Supreme Court, that number could skew more heavily toward the just plain stupid. 59% of those same college graduates thought Thomas Jefferson was the Father of the Constitution. Well, Constitution, Declaration of Independence, whatever! It's not like the future leaders of this Country need to know these things. The majority of that same group of little geniuses could not name the three branches of Government which, as I'm sure you know, is the foundation of our Nation. It makes you wonder what degree they graduated with. Probably journalism.
Next, and totally unrelated, what is up with these new cancer commercials I keep seeing on TV? Let me start by saying that cancer sucks and needs to be eradicated. We all know someone who has been affected by this nightmare and do what we can to help. The answers are all in the research and, many of us, work to raise money to fund that research. This brings me to my point. I keep seeing these commercials of cancer victims, survivors, family members and doctors, threatening cancer. I'm sure you've seen them; "You took my hair, my husband, you tried to take me. You're going to lose cancer and we're going to win". Do you know how much it costs to run a national TV commercial? Why are you using precious dollars to threaten a disease? Do you think cancer is listening? One average 30 second national commercial costs about $250,000. I'm seeing the ads 3 or 4 times a day! You're spending millions of dollars to tell us that you're working on a cure, instead of actually working on it. To what end? To raise more money? You clearly have more money than you need if you're spending it on advertising. Do you think we'll forget about cancer if you don't remind us? I'm rating this one 100% just plain stupid. Stop screwing around and change the world!
This past weekend many of us watched as Winter Storm Jonas dumped snow on many areas ill-equipped to handle it. Even though I was relieved that we were spared I couldn't help but be amused by the coverage. One reporter stood in the middle of a street in Washington, up to his knees in snow, and looking like he was on the surface of Mars. He breathlessly shouted that these were "life and death weather conditions". Really? It's just snow dude. If you do absolutely nothing it will go away on it's own. I'm not making light of a serious storm. I am well aware that people lost their lives. But you can't help but see such a storm through the filter of your own world. 18 inches of snow barely closes the schools in Upstate NY. One reporter in NYC, standing in the snowiest spot he could find, stopped a woman on the street and asked incredulously, "Ma'am, what are you doing out in this storm"? The woman replied, "I'm walking the dog. Dog's gotta go". And therein lies the reality. Come what may, dog's gotta go.
Speaking of dogs, did you hear about Ludivine, the two year old Bloodhound from Elkmont, Alabama? Ludivine's owner let her out, as usual, thinking she's go for a little walk. Well, Ludivine walked into an organized half marathon and joined in. She ran the whole 13.1 mile track and came in 7th place. She did it in an impressive 1:32:56. They gave her a medal! You can't make this stuff up.
Po

Somebody Call the Waah-bulance

Hello My Dear Friends! I hope this doesn't ruin the entire Awards Season for you but Jada Pinkett Smith and Spike Lee are boycotting this year's Oscars because of the "lack of diversity" or, as Spike Lee says, their "Lily Whiteness". OK. I don't know about you, but my favorite part of the Oscars is seeing random people in the audience who aren't nominated for anything, so this is a big blow to me! Anyway, the problem is, according to those who are up in arms, that for two years in a row all of the nominees for the "major" acting awards have been white. Spike Lee wrote, "how is it possible for the 2nd consecutive year all 20 contenders under the actor category are white"? How indeed. You see, this is the world we live in now. A world of entitlement. When I was young and in a competition or up for an award and I didn't get it, my folks would say 'You just weren't good enough this time, next time you'll work harder'. And I would. It gave me the drive that still motivates me today. In Jada Pinkett Smith's world, however, there is no need to work harder or improve. Her message to her children appears to be 'You are great, you didn't win because you're black'. Doesn't seem really motivational, does it? It may even be true. Who knows. Maybe the Academy is racist. But, as far as Will Smith is concerned, the Screen Actors Guild (SAG Awards) must also be racist because they didn't nominate him either. Is there any chance, even a small one, that perhaps, just perhaps, your performance wasn't among the greatest of the year? I didn't think so. It's racism plain and simple! This Country is devolving into a whining mass of indolent, self-absorbed slackers! What happened to taking responsibility? What happened to "owning it"? Why is everything someone else's fault or someone else's doing? Last week an Oregon State basketball player, upset that a foul wasn't called, stuck out his foot and tripped the referee as he ran down the court. The player, Jarmal Reid, was thrown out of that game and suspended for 4 more.  When discussing the issue during a later game, the announcers said "Jarmal is a good kid who has been through a lot. He's had it rough but I'm sure he'll learn from this". Excuse me? Oh, he's "been through a lot" so tripping a referee should be a good lesson for him? I get it now. The free education, based on his ability to play a game, was just the vessel used to teach the life lesson that it's not OK to hurt other people just because you're unhappy. From the "Affluenza" Teen, who was too rich and spoiled to know right from wrong, to the "activists" who chained themselves to the Bay Bridge in San Francisco yesterday, everyone has an issue caused by someone else. It needs to stop, people. It needs to stop. Those "activists" in San Fran yesterday weren't protesting one particular thing as they jammed up traffic for hours. No. They were protesting 'all of the bad things that happened to black people over the past year'. They also had a list of demands including the resignation of the Mayor and Police Chiefs in both San Fran and Oakland, and they called for the city of San Fran to stop funding the police. Yup. They want that money used to create "affordable housing for black, brown and indigenous people in San Fran". I'm not sure if the indigenous people they're fighting for are Indians or gays but, either way, who needs cops when you can have low income housing! While they're at it, they should stop funding the Government all together. After all, the whole thing is their fault to begin with!
Po

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello My Dear Friends! My Personal Physician, Dr. Rae Clark, just left. That's right. My doctor comes to me. As it should be! Anyway, she confirmed what we already knew, I am perfect. Let's move on. The invitations have gone out to announce the celebration of my 16th birthday. Those of you who are worthy have received yours. Didn't get one? Well..it may have been an oversight, but I doubt it.
Sean Penn says his article about infamous drug lord Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman "failed". Says Penn, "I have a regret that the entire discussion about this article ignores its purpose, which was to contribute to this conversation on the war on drugs". "My article failed". That is certainly unfortunate. If your purpose was to remind people that you are a narcissistic ass, you would have been a glowing success! Oh well, better luck next time.
It's good to learn something every day so, did you know that on Gilligan's Island, First Mate Gilligan's first name was never used on the show. It was, in fact, Willy. Willy Gilligan. You're welcome.
On last night's 132nd GOP debate, Senator Ted Cruz slammed New Yorkers. Big deal, right? Well, it appears that the editors of the New York Daily News were offended by it. What do you think?

LOL! Yes, the Daily News is a rag but that's funny. Beside, it's not like any Republican candidate has a chance of winning in New York anyway.

Well, the new Oscar nominations were announced and, as always, were immediately followed by the outcry of racism and the hashtag #OscarsSoWhite. Can't we base just one award on merit and not diversity? People really need to lighten up.

Finally, did you hear about the Ohio fugitive who sent police a selfie because he didn't like the mugshot they were using on TV to track him down? You can't make this stuff up. Surprise, surprise. He was arrested the next day in Florida. Hopefully Florida cops take better mugshots!

Enjoy the Weekend!

Po

New Year, New Attitude. I don't Think So!

Hello My Dear Friends! Happy New Year! My Holiday Hiatus has ended and I'm back with a tailwind! There is so much to address I barely know where to begin! Let's start with current news. The small Village of Whitesboro, NY, finds itself embroiled in a controversy over it's village seal. I must admit, when I first saw this story, my initial reaction was "here we go again". Someone, somewhere found something innocuous to get all up in arms about. Then I looked at the Seal!

Are you serious? LOL! Not innocuous! The fine folks of Whitesboro say it depicts their founder (Hugh White) in a friendly wrestling match with an Oneida Indian. Really? They voted last night to keep their Seal just the way it is. My question is, how did it take over 100 years for someone to be offended by that? It's ridiculous. What's your Village Motto? 'Whitesboro, kicking ingin ass for over 200 years'! OMG! Hey Whitesboro, it's offensive. Take it down!

The President of these United States, while single-handedly changing gun laws in this Country, said, "We can't prevent every gun death but if we can stop just one we have to act". Ok. So, why then, when we talk about opening our gates to thousands of Syrian refugees, does your attitude change? Mr. President, we can't prevent all terrorists from entering our Country but if we can stop just one, we have to act. What? Does anyone else hear crickets? Erie County Executive Mark Poloncarz says he'll settle 300 of them in Buffalo. Really? Can you say Lackawanna Six? How quickly we forget. You're not alone Buffalo. Syracuse's Mayor has also rolled out the welcome mat.

Speaking of the President, he will give his final State of the Union Address tonight! The White House says the speech will focus on the Obama Administration's accomplishments. There's no word on what he'll talk about for the other hour and 58 minutes.

"Actor" Sean Penn, as you've probably heard, in a desperate attempt to remain relevant, slipped into Mexico for a clandestine meeting with notorious fugitive drug lord Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman. With all moral judgments aside, I read the article. It sucked. Seriously. It read like it was written by a college freshman trying to impress his creative writing professor. He described the killer's "warm smile" and "obvious charisma". Can you feel my eyes rolling? Good. So, in a jungle clearing, face to face with the most wanted man on the planet, what does Mr. Penn ask El Chapo? "Do you have hopes and dreams like everyone else"? LOL! What a Goober! The only good thing to come out of all that nonsense is that the goober unknowingly led police right to the killer. Classic.

Bill Cosby's attorneys are asking that charges against him in Pennsylvania be dropped. The say prosecutors violated an agreement made with the DA in 2006 when Cosby gave his deposition in a civil case. Apparently they agreed to not use anything he said in a criminal prosecution. That deposition, wherein Cosby pretty much confesses to the assault, appears to be the prosecution's only evidence. I'm am a firm believer in innocent until proven guilty but, seriously, the man is clearly guilty. It's time to end this. On a lighter note, 23 universities have rescinded the honorary degrees they bestowed upon the comedian over the years. Oh no! You're taking back your make-believe degrees! That will teach him!

Oh, I'm baaaaaack!

Po