Just When I thought I'd Heard It All!

Hello People. Just when I thought you people could no longer amaze me, BAM, you do it again! The Washington Post is reporting that another prisoner in the Baltimore police van with Freddie Gray, says Gray was trying to injure himself. Really? The prisoner, who will remain anonymous for his own safety, reportedly says he couldn't see Gray but he heard him throwing himself around. Seriously? So now, apparently, we just have to determine if he severed his own spine before or after he crushed his own windpipe. Hey Baltimore PD, you've had nearly two weeks and this is the best story you could come up with? This whole situation has been mishandled from the beginning. Batten down the hatches Baltimore, I fear things are about to go from bad to worse. Believe me people, no one supports the police more than I do but this is ridiculous. Freddie Gray was not a good guy. He had dozens of prior arrests. But, if I don't buy this story how do you think it's going to fly on the street of Baltimore? While I'm at it Baltimore, where did you get your Mayor, Craig's List? What a hot mess!
Brace yourselves for this one....A U.S. District Judge in Manhattan has ruled that the Metropolitan Transportation Authority must display ads on their buses and subway cars that read "Killing Jews is worship that draws us close to Allah". The judge, John Koelti, ruled that the ads, paid for by the American Freedom Defense Initiative, were protected speech under the First Amendment. You can't make this stuff up people. The so-called "Kill Jews" ad features a menacing man wearing a scarf around his head and face and goes on to say "That's His Jihad, What's Yours"? I don't know what First Amendment Judge Koelti was reading but the one I'm familiar with does not protect speech that "promotes lawless activity". I'm pretty sure that calling for the murders of innocent people falls under the "not covered" portion. I can't even fathom what was going through that judge's mind. It makes no sense at all yet, there it is.
I will leave you with a happy story. The captor was driving home the other day. An accident had the highway backed up and, as usual, no one was letting anyone in. As the captor say with her blinker on waiting to merge, she noticed a pick-up truck approaching that was decked out with NY Yankees paraphernalia. The captor, who was, of course, wearing her Yankees jacket, turned to the pick-up, now beside her, and pointed to the Yankees logo on her jacket. The pick-up driver smiled, waved and slowed down to allow the captor to merge ahead of him. Thanks Dude! You just have to love Yankees' fans. It's a family thing!
Sway

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello People. Happy Friday. I would actually mean that if it were still snowing! I would like someone to track down this Mother Nature and punish her. Bitch needs to pay! Anyway, I've been wondering, if the delicious Greek sandwich Gyro is actually pronounced year-o, why is the country not pronounced yeese? Anyone know? Ukrainian singer Kristina Karo has filed a lawsuit against actress Mila Kunis (Mrs. Ashton Kutcher). Karo claims that, 25 years ago, she and Kunis were 1st grade friends and that Mila was so jealous over Karo's pet chicken, named doggie, that she stole it! Karo, to this day, is devastated! That's why she is suing Kunis for $5000. Also, she has a new music video coming out and no one has ever heard of her. Personally, I'm a big fan of chicken, but $5000 seems a bit excessive. Karo says she needs that amount to pay for therapy sessions she needs to cope with the loss of her beloved poultry. One would think the statute of limitations on chicken thieving would have run out after 25 years. Also, there's that whole 'it happened in another country' thing. Lucky for Karo, she now lives in Los Angeles, where anything goes! I shouldn't single out California. A New York Supreme Court judge has agreed to hear a case that would give chimpanzees human rights. Yup! She issued a writ of habeas corpus which legally recognizes the chimps as people. The case surrounds two chimps being held for research at Stony Brook University. The chimps, or at least their advocates, are arguing that is "unlawful imprisonment". Your tax dollars in action! Tonight on TV is the big ABC Bruce Jenner exclusive. Most people believe that Jenner will unveil that he is transitioning into a woman. I think, if this is true, the important take-away will be that the question of 'how far will someone go to get away from Kris Kardashian' will finally be answered! Hey, do you eat a lot of shrimp? Consumer Reports examined 342 samples of frozen shrimp, from food retailers in 27 cities, and guess what! 60% of the shrimp tested was contaminated with bacteria! Most of the shrimp sold in the US comes from Thailand, Vietnam, China, Bangladesh and India. The shrimp was contaminated with Listeria, E. Coli and salmonella. 2% carried MRSA (that's the drug resistant super bug). Still hungry? 83% of the raw shrimp from Bangladesh was tainted; 74% from India. I don't like those odds but hey, you never know! If you are going to roll the dice, make sure you know where the shrimp came from and be sure to cook it thoroughly. With that, Enjoy the Weekend!
Sway

If It Walks Like A Duck...

Hello People! I'd like to share with you a little tidbit I read today in the New York Times. It's all very complicated so I'll break it down as best I can. It's about a Canadian company know as Uranium One. This company is now the world leader in Uranium production. It is also now owned by the Russian government. They hold a 51% share. Uranium One owns mining stakes from Central Asia to the United States. As a matter of fact, Uranium One owns one-fifth of all the uranium production capacity of the United States, with holdings in Utah, Wyoming, Texas and other states. Here's the interesting part. Because uranium is a "strategic asset" with implications for national security, this deal needed the approval of many US Government agency heads, including, but not limited to the State Department. The acquisition of Uranium One by the Russians took several years with the bulk of the dealings and approvals running from 2007-2013. During this time frame, Hillary Clinton was the Secretary of State. Also during that time frame, various key players in the Uranium One deal contributed $31.5 million to the Clinton Foundation. The Chairman of Uranium One alone, through his family foundation, donated $2.35 million. These contributions were never public reported as required by regulations set up by the Obama Administration. Did something nefarious go on here? I don't know. That needs to be determined by those far smarter than me. Does it smell to high Heaven? Yes it does! Influence peddling is nothing new in Washington. Sadly, it happens every day. However, this is really scary stuff. Uranium, as you know, is the basis of nuclear weapons, and now Russia controls the lion's share of it. They control 1/5 of OUR share of it. How does this happen right under our noses without a word? Even more frightening is the question of what else is going on that we know nothing about? One-third of our national debt is now held by foreign investors, with Japan in the lead. Yes, contrary to popular belief, Japan holds more of our national debt than China does but China is a close second. Now we're selling off strategic assets too. Where will it end, people? Where will it end?
Sway

Hypocrisy Rocks!

Hello People! Before I enlighten you on the recent sad, but hysterical, hypocrisy I've come across, I'd like to begin with a personal note. It has come to my attention that my Captors are preparing to expand our prison population! They are hot on the trail of yet another captive who, according to a text message that I intercepted, will look like this:

I know, right! Poor dumb bastard! Although she is mildly attractive, she has no chance of reaching the level of utter beauty that I have attained! None! She'll be here in a few weeks. Anyway...

An Earth Day rally and concert on Saturday drew thousands of people to the National Mall in Washington, D.C.  It was a wonderful opportunity to pontificate on how uncaring Americans are destroying the planet. When all was said and done, the lovers of the environment moved on and left behind.....

LOL! I guess no one told them about those pesky plastic bottles and styrofoam containers! Oh well, at least they put on a good show.

Governor Andrew Cuomo is in Cuba today. Cuba? He claims it's a trip to "foster improved relations" with the communist regime to help New York businesses develop trade relations, now that we're ignoring that whole communist regime thing. This, from the same Governor who declared a travel ban to Indiana until they amended their controversial Religious Freedom Restoration Act. This, from the same Governor who said that "extreme conservatives have no place in the State New York". So, just to be clear, conservatives=bad; communists=good. Alrighty then! Thanks Gov! It's that kind of intelligent, clear headed governing that has made New York is the growing, thriving State it is!

Finally, Hillary Clinton is vowing to drive "unaccountable money" out of politics! LMFAO!!! This, from the woman who's foundation took millions of dollars from Saudi Arabia, Yemen and Algeria While she was Secretary of State. This, from the woman who secured lucrative foreign contracts for General Electric, ExxonMobil, Microsoft and Boeing, all of whom made large donations to the Clinton Foundation. I'm sure that was just a series of coincidences. It simple doesn't pass the laugh test. By the way, while I'm on the topic of the Clinton campaign, a little advice. Mrs. Clinton, this campaign strategy of talking to and working for "ordinary people" is pissing me off. I, as I'm sure many of you, have worked my entire life to rise above "ordinary". I, Mrs. Clinton, am extraordinary, as are most hard working Americans. If you really want to relate to the little people, you should stop underestimating them. We don't need a "champion" we need an honest leader. Do you happen to know one? Maybe you should send them to Chipotle to mingle with the masses.
Sway

Happy Freakin Tax Day!

Hello People! In honor of tax day, I thought I would give you some inspirational information to make writing that check to the IRS a little easier! As you may know, IRS Commissioner Jack Koskinen told us not to bother calling the IRS because the Taxman wouldn't be answering. Koskinen said the IRS was broke, understaffed and just too busy to pick up the phone. So, imagine my surprise when I learned that, over the past 5 years, the IRS spent $96.4 million dollars on office furniture! That's not even the most upsetting thing. During that same time, the IRS also spent $4.3 million on "market research and public opinion polls"! I could have saved you the time. You suck and we hate you! There you have it, free of charge! But wait! That's not all. They also bought an $8,000 Stair Climber and spent tens of thousands of dollars on TOYS! Yup, toys, including, but not limited to stuffed animals, toy footballs, kazoos, bathtub toy boats and Thomas the Tank rubber wristbands! These dumbfounding purchases were, according to the IRS, to decorate their offices and as give-a-ways at manager meetings. Whew! for a minute there I thought they were just wasting money. Oh, just so you know, if you are one of the lucky 40% of callers who actually get through to the IRS, you may get hung up on. That's okay. The IRS calls that a "courtesy disconnect" which they use to "save time" on callers who don't like what they're hearing. LOL! Try that at your job and see how it works for you. By the way, the average IRS agent makes $82,000 a year.
On to Education! A 10th grade history teacher in Wisconsin gave her students an interesting project. They were told to "imagine they were a Muslim living in America" and write a 5 paragraph essay about their average day and the struggles they face because of their religion. What? This is wrong on so many levels I don't know where to begin. First of all, if this is some PC attempt to understand Islam, why not write a paper on the "struggles" Muslim women face everywhere on the Planet except America? How about an average day for a woman living under Sharia Law? Next, what happened to keeping religion out of public education? Isn't that why Christmas vacation became winter break? Finally, since these students aren't actually Muslims, isn't this assignment really asking students to stereotype Muslims? Is the student to assume that all female Muslims are teased for wearing their Hijab? I would guess many Hasidic Jewish students face similar taunts. Why not image a day in the life of a Jew or a Catholic? Oh wait, I already know the answer to that, and so do you. There's been no comment on parental complaints about the assignment from the teacher or the school.
I'll leave you with this: Judicial Watch, Inc. (a non-partisan government watchdog group) says during a recent investigation they discovered that ISIS had opened a a training camp in Anapra, Mexico. They cite a Mexican Army Officer and a Mexican Federal Police Inspector as their source that the Juarez Drug Cartel was protecting the compound and "smuggling" ISIS operatives across the border. The Mexican officials told Judicial Watch that they found documents in Arabic, Muslim prayer rugs and a map of  Fort Bliss.Where is Anapra, Mexico, you ask? Eight miles east of El Paso, Texas. Where is Fort Bliss? Yup, El Paso. I have no idea if this is true. I'm just passing along what I read. It sure is a scary thought. Enjoy the day!
Sway

Please Tell Me You're Kidding!

Hello People. Every day, in every way, you seem to get dumber and dumber. Why is that? Could it be yet another effect of global warming? Where to begin....
A New Jersey teacher had her 3rd grade students write get well cards to convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal. The teacher, Marylin Zuniga, tweeted that the letters were delivered to the former Black Panther by "comrade Johanna Fernandez". Fernandez, a professor at Baruch College in NYC, put on her Farcebook page that she and the cop killer "shared a touching moment". Charming. She went on to say that "it had been a long time since we saw Mumia smile". Heartwarming, really. I wonder how long it's been since anyone has seen Maureen Faulkner smile. Who? She is the widow of Philadelphia police officer Danny Faulkner, who was murdered by Abu-Jamal in 1981. Faulkner was first shot in the back, then, while he lay on the ground, was shot 4 more times at close range. The good news is that the "teacher" was given a paid vacation while school officials investigate her actions.
Here's an interesting tidbit I picked up this week! Did you know that hundreds of Puerto Ricans are collecting Federal Disability Benefits in the U.S. because they don't speak English? Yup! Because Puerto Rico is a US Territory, Puerto Ricans are free to work in the US, but, why should they? The Social Security Administration has ruled that not speaking English makes our cousins to the south "less employable" and, therefore, disabled! That's worth about $735 a month. Not bad for not working! It makes one wonder how people who don't speak English well enough to work can read English well enough to navigate our Federal benefit's system. Weird, huh?
SmartTouch Media, a Las Vegas based company, came out with a fun, new app called "Rescue the Anorexia Girl"! It's a Whack-A-Mole style game where the players throw food at a sickly young girl. When players miss, the girl loses weight and eventually dies. What fun! Amazon had the common sense to pull the app from it's store but it's still available elsewhere. Wouldn't you have loved to be in on the meeting when someone decided this was a good idea and others agreed?
Finally, let me leave you with this: With the 2016 Presidential election mayhem already underway, Google released it's search trend data, relating to Presidential hopefuls, for the month of March. The number one thing American's wanted to know about the candidates......their height and age. We're doomed people. We're doomed.
Sway