NY Frog

Hello everyone! It's me, Anya. Have you heard about the new species of frog discovered in New York City? Yup, it's true. The people who study these things say the center of the frog's ranger is none other than Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. It's a type of Leopard Frog. Here's the photo.

I know, it looks like any old frog to me too but, apparently it is distinguished by it's unique croak. So, this is the first step in my quest to have this new species of frog officially named "The Jeter"! Come on people, rally with me! We want Derek the Frog! It could happen.
Anya
New frog story

Green Eggs and Beer

Hello my dear friends. In honor of Saint Patrick's Day and all of the joy and festivities that come with it, Dr. Seuss and I have collaborated on a little verse!
I am Po
Po my Dear
I do not like that damn green beer!
I do not like it in my house
I do not like it with a mouse
I would not drink it in a box
I would not drink it with a fox
I do not like that damn green beer
I do not like it
Po my dear.

In the spirit of the Irish, lift your glass and offer this toast:
May neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you and heaven accept you.
Erin Go Bragh!
Po

I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag....

Hello my fellow Americans. Just when I thought I'd seen it all, a whole new world of Gooberism (Goober-ism: noun: any movement, ideology or attitude that promotes the agenda of Goobers!) arises! Earlier this week the Lake County (Florida) Democratic Party proudly displayed this flag outside of their headquarters:

When an offended 71-year old Veteran asked that they take it down because it violated the Federal Flag Code, the chairwoman of the party said "It what? The federal what?" The Veteran was told to leave or the police would be called. Instead, the Veteran sent pictures of the flag to Veterans' groups and delivered a copy of the Federal Flag Code to the goober in charge, who, upon pulling her head out of her derriere, had the flag removed. Now people, I'm really not sure which is worse, desecrating the American Flag or not knowing that you can't desecrate the American Flag. I also have to wonder how someone, who clearly knows very little about American laws and customs, rises to the rank of chairwoman of their county democratic party. So, for those of you aspiring to lead a political party or are simply an active proponent of Gooberism, the Federal Flag Code clearly states (section 8; subsection g):

"The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature".

FYI -  Federal Flag Code

Don't Panic! Flag desecration is no longer a crime. This is still America. In 1990 the Supreme Court ruled that anti-desecration laws were unconstitutional so, go ahead and burn that flag! Sew in a picture of your favorite leader! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Kim Jong-il perhaps! Why not? It's not like people actually fought or died protecting The Flag. Geez, it hasn't been changed since 1960 (when Hawaii, the final star, was added). Maybe Old Glory needs a face lift! Who needs all of those stars anyway? May I respectfully suggest:

Po

March Madness and other Nonsense

Hello my dear friends. Last night, before I retired for the evening, I flipped on the 11pm news to see if anything important had happened in the world. Apparently, it hadn't. I know this because the local news channel (which I will not identify but they are Everywhere) has "team coverage" of the "Breaking News" that Fab Melo would not be playing in the NCAA Tourney.  Team Coverage! Seriously? Now, I know that many people, my captor included, take local sports very seriously but, with all due respect, do we really need a "team" to cover a 48 word press release? That worked out to about 1 person for every 12 words. The world shattering event made up the top 5 news stories, all of them based on the same 48 word press release. They threw in "live coverage" of a reporter stopping people on the street to get their  reaction to the news! Oh My! "Are you disappointed"? "How do you think the Orange will do without Melo"? And, of course the most important question of the evening, "will you be changing your bracket"? Wow! Powerful stuff! That, of course, was followed by the "sports coverage" where they proceeded to repeat each and every news story. Riveting! I went to sleep confident that I knew all I needed to know to start my day off well informed. Thank goodness there wasn't a Presidential Primary, closing arguments in a landmark bias intimidation case, a fatal avalanche in Alaska or a tragic bus crash that killed 22 children to get in the way of what is truly important, a lazy college student who refused to do his homework! Nice job people. Nice job!
Po

The Prodigal Captors Return

Hello my dear friends. I'm sure you're wondering where I've been. Well, my captors fled the country and took my laptop with them! Yes, they do suck. They have finally returned from a land called the Dominican Republic. It apparently looks like this...

Big deal, right? You're lucky. I've been forced to look at hundreds of pictures. I won't bore you with those. Sway and I have subjected them to the "48 hours of silence" since their return. It's a Himmi thing. We don't acknowledge their return until 48 hours after they get home. It gives them time to think about the repercussions of abandoning their captives, especially on one's birthday! Oh, if you're wondering what they brought back for me, stop wondering. NOTHING! Not one dang thing. Yes, there will be more repercussions. Pawback is a beoch. Anyway, I'll share one more photo with you, only because the captives look like heck. That's their friend Sheryl with them in the pool bar. Goobers!

Yes, they are white girls who seek out the sun and then hide from it under clothing. What fun.
Po

Funny Stuff

Hello my dear friends. I am often sent things from my legion of fans and, sometimes, I like to share them with you. Here are two examples. This was sent to me by the captor's son, who we affectionately call The Boy.

Very entertaining stuff. This next one was sent to be my "anonymous" but clearly someone who knows me quite well.

LOL! How about this one!

Anyway, enjoy the weekend and, if you have something you thing you think will amuse me, e-mail it to me at:  PoKitty@clearchannel.com

Po

My Big Fat Birthday Bust!

Hello my dear friends. First, let me say how saddened we all are at the passing of Davy Jones. The captors were big fans (they just saw him two weeks ago) and, although he will live forever on their iPods, he will be missed. Now, on to ME! I'm sure you're wondering how my big 12th birthday celebration went. Who wouldn't be? Well, let me tell you. My captors went out of their way to do AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE! That's right. My official birthday comes ONCE every FOUR YEARS (and I'm not getting any younger) and what did the captors do? First, they made a big deal about how I, and all of the other captives, were going to have birthday "Kitty Cake" to celebrate. I Googled birthday cake and this, my friends, is NOT birthday cake!

How dumb do they think I am! The girls did thoroughly enjoy it anyway.

Then, to add insult to injury, they give me this squeaky thing as my gift.

The problem is, I'm pretty sure this little treasure was in the bag my Aunt Hand gave me for Christmas, meaning they SWIPED my Christmas gift and RE-GIFTED IT to me for my birthday! As if I wouldn't know. Can you believe that crap? I am simply beside myself. To put this nightmare into perspective, here is me after my last party (2008)

And here I am today...

What a difference a few years make. Poor me, right? Poor freakin' me!
Po