Twas MY Night Before Chirstmas

And people wonder why I'm angry! Hello people. I'm taking a short break from my 100 Days of Angry to pay homage to the upcoming Holy Day; My Birthday. That's right. Jesus and I share a birthday, he just gets more attention. Any way.....

'Twas the night before Christmas, and across the whole land
All the Haters were out, with their placards in hand;
Their messages varied, but printed with care,
In hopes that the media soon would be there;

The kitties were nestled all snug in their beds,
While the Haters were screaming and banging their heads;
Kill the Cops! I can't breathe! Hands up, don't shoot!
As their kids ran about to pillage and loot.

Non believers were planning their assault on the square,
To ensure that no signs of Jesus were there.
Lose the Nativity and rename that tree
There is no Jesus, it's Xmas for me!

Where ever folks gather, the Haters must go,
To enlighten the masses on what they must know.
Stop fracking, meat kills, God hates the Gays
The planet is warming, you must change your ways!

It's okay to hang lights on your Holiday Tree
But don't hang a cross where the Haters may see.
Don't say Merry Christmas, it's gives folks a fit
It's Hanakwansmass or some other shit.

So scream, Haters, scream, I simply won't hear it.
You can't do a thing to douse my Christmas spirit.
Carry your signs and march through the streets
We'll sit by the fire with our sweet Christmas treats.

With the Lord in our hearts and peace in our soul,
We'll wait for St. Nick; you'll probably get coal.
We'll raise a glass to the Soldiers, our daughters and sons
Who won't see their families or hold their loved ones.

You'll spend the day whining and holding your sign
We'll spend it with loved ones and a nice glass of wine.
A day filled with love and laughter and cheer
That will carry us through another new year.

So, Now Whiner, Now Racist, Now Tree Hugger, Now Hater,
On Vegan, On Homophobe, On little Race Baiter.
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"You People Are Crazy, PoKitty Was Right!"

Thank you and Merry Christmas!
Sway

Angry Days 38-40

Hello People! Let me begin by saying that I did not break that silly ornament. I do not know who did. I'm no snitch. It was Po. Okay. Let the anger flow....
#38 Time Warner Cable. Once again the monopoly that is Time Warner is raising their "fees". We get our internet, phone and cable from them because, in the city of Syracuse, we really have no other viable choice. They are now adding a $2.75 per month "surcharge" for sports programming and increasing their monthly "surcharge" for "Broadcast TV" to $2.75. I'm a little confused by this since the reason I pay you to begin with is to provide said programming. I'm not getting any new channels. In fact, over the past few years, we lost numerous channel while your rates continue to raise. Now, you want to pay to extra for you to do less. Time Warner, You Suck! And, while I'm at it, STOP turning off my TV! Who the heck do you think you are? I pay for your service. I pay for electricity. If I want to leave my TV on the same channel all day that's MY business, not yours. If I want "energy saving" assistance from you, I'll ask for it. Otherwise, mind your own freaking business!
#39 Playmobil Toys. Playmobil, known for their Alpine Lodges and Train Stations, has come out with the most amazing new line of "toys". The latest depicts an armed bank robbery and a bicycle crash complete with ambulance. Wow! The company says that "children learn through play". That's awesome if you want your kids to learn how to rob a bank! The "Bank and Raid" set has a woman (congrats for the gender) disguised with large dark glasses and a gun sticking up a terrified bank teller who is handing over wads of cash (included). The other set comes with an injured cyclist being loaded into the back of an ambulance. It comes with extra bandages. These toys are marketed for ages 4-10. They also have a construction worker set that comes with it's own little beer bottles. Charming! I realize that you simply don't have to buy these things but seriously, is this what we've become?
#40 Christmas Killers. Firehouse #4 in South Utica, NY, has a sign, as part of the Christmas display that reads, "Happy Birthday Jesus. We Love You". The nerve! A group of Atheists say 'take down the sign or we'll sue'. Sue for what, Atheists? It can't be based on the wildly misinterpreted First Amendment, regarding the 'separation of Church and State'. Claiming that would make you all sound like a bunch of misinformed morons. Since the First Amendment says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". That argument actually backs up the Fire Fighters. That whole free exercise thing... There's nothing in the Constitution that says Fire Fighters can't love Jesus or hang signs. This particular group says the sign is "exclusionary and alienating". Really? It says "we" love you. Not "you have to love him". I love pizza. If you don't, does that make me wrong? Should I denounce pizza because you don't like it? Beside, you have to love the irony of the Atheists verses Fire Fighters thing since, in the end, eternal fire may be your destiny...
Sway

Angry Days 35-37

Hello People. I'm angry! That is why my 100 Days of Angry continues. This box is too small. Get bigger feet. I cannot nap in a box this small! Anyway...
#35  The path to nowhere. I respect and appreciate business owners who promptly plow the sidewalks outside of their business after a snow storm. It's good business. I also understand that it is not incumbent upon you to plow your neighbor's walk. However, when you plow your walk, stopping at your property line, and do not create an egress to the road, you force me into the very snowbank I was trying to avoid. I can either tromp through the 3 foot snowbank into the road or turn around and walk back to where I came from. Neither option is very appealing! So, thank you for clearing your walk. Now, please take the additional 2 minutes to complete the job.
#36  'Only Drivers'.  This is a term I use to describe people who believe they are the only ones on the road.  Dear Only Drive: You are NOT the only person on the road EVER. So brush off your damn car, pick a freaking lane and slow down! When it snows, the 'Only Driver' is the one speeding down the middle of the road creating a personal blizzard behind them. It is never okay to drive down the middle of the road people. Even if you can't see the lines, you know they are there. Show a little respect for everyone else and pick a lane. It takes less than 5 minutes to brush off your vehicle. This is time well spent since, after you do it, you can actually see out of your windows. This prevents you from changing lanes in front of other people and running them off the road. Along those same lines, just brushing off your windows and nothing else is equally as annoying. I call this the "Brazilian Brush". That's when you brush of the sides and leave that big strip down the middle. (Thank you to all of you who got that). In case you are unaware, that snow blows off your vehicle onto the windshield of the innocent person behind you! It's rude and dangerous. You people piss me off!
#37  Illegal Parking. Do you know why cities institute alternating parking regulations? It's so emergency vehicles and SNOWPLOWS can get down narrow city streets. We live on a narrow city street. Do you know what happens when you are too lazy to move your car? Our street doesn't get plowed. So, everyone on the entire block has to suffer because YOU were too lazy to move your car. You Suck! Put down the cheese puffs for 5 minutes and follow the law. I'm sure Wheel of Fortune will still be on when you get back.
Sway

Angry Days 32-34

Hello People! Every day, in every way, people continue to piss me off! As my 100 Days of Angry continue, I'd like to take a moment to thank so many of you who make this easier each day.
#32 Showboating. Carolina Panther's Cam Newton with his Superman pose; 49er's Colin Kaepernick kissing his "guns"; Cleveland's Johnny Manziel with his little "show me the money" jesture. Do you know what all of these quarterbacks have in common, beside immaturity? They all suck. Show a little class boys. How you can proudly "pose" when your team is 4-8-1 is beyond me. Ever see Peyton Manning or Tom Brady do a little "hey, look at me" touchdown dance? Maybe while you're home watching them in the playoffs you can ponder that question.
#33 Human gnats. They simply won't go away. These people know no bounds. There are the celebrity Gnats like Tori Spelling, Lindsey Lohan, Any Kardashian or Monica Lewinsky. There are athletic Gnats like A Rod, Jose Canseco and Manny Ramizez. And, your everyday, average Joe Gnats that only annoy one or two people at a time. The captor has one of those. A lunatic she fired about 8 years ago still sends her letters eight years later! Talk about a human Gnat! Can't tell you what's in those letters because she just throws them out. My point is, people should come with an expiration date, like milk, so they know when they're done. You're starting to smell, time to be tossed. I'm not saying anything bad should happen. Go live a happy, hopefully productive life. Just go away now. Go Away.
#34 Eaten Alive. We discussed this "entertainment spectacular" when it was first announced. A moron was going to be eaten alive by a giant snake. A Green Anaconda, to be accurate. I haven't seen the numbers on how many of you were sucked into watching this but, you're all nuts. PETA is protesting over abuse of the snake, viewers are outraged that the snake didn't eat the moron and the Discovery Channel is defending the whole debacle! What is wrong with you people? Half of you are more concerned about the snake than the moron and the other half are outraged that the moron didn't get eaten. Please people, I'm begging you, turn off the TV and get a hobby. You clearly have way too much time on your hands.
Sway

Angry Days 29-31

Hello People! As I continue with my 100 days of things that piss me off, I can't help but wonder how this world has survived this long. You people are all nuts! Anyway, let's begin...
#29 Changing Christmas Carols. Do you know what's great about Christmas songs? You learn them as a child and, when you hear them as you grow, they make you happy. They make you want to sing along. Well people, we can't sing along if you don't sing it the way it was meant to be sung! Listen up popular music people, I know that you're "artists" and you want to make a song "your own". But Christmas carols are not yours. Their ours, and we want them sung the way we remember them! If you want your own Christmas song try writing one.
#30 The National Science Foundation. This government funded, non-profit organization, was created to "promote the progress of science; to advance the national health, prosperity and welfare; to secure the national defense". They have an annual budget of $7.2 billion. In 2012, an audit turned up $2.1 billion in wasted spending. Among their "studies" was to research why certain NCAA teams dominate March Madness every year and how quickly parents react to trendy baby names. You can't make this stuff up. This years audit found $150 million in "questionable" construction projects. Among their "scientific studies" this time around; To discover if people who post pictures on the internet from the same places, at the same time, are usually friends and to find out if people who use on-line dating services are racist. They also spent $25,000 on a Holiday party, $3000 on an alcohol-fueled Board of Directors dinner, $3000 on tee shirts and $1000 a month (every month) on premium coffee. WTF! Your tax dollars in action!
#31 Making a Mockery of Foreign Affairs. The lame duck Senate has just approved two more of the President's appointees for Ambassadorships. Noah Mamet has been appointed Ambassador to Argentina and Colleen Bell has been confirmed as Ambassador to Hungary. Now, I realize that no one really cares about Ambassadors but, seriously, the world is a complicated and dangerous place right now and our Ambassadors are our representatives abroad. Mr. Mamet, during his confirmation hearing admitted that he had never even been to Argentina and he doesn't even speak Spanish! Ms. Bell, during her confirmation hearing, was asked about the United States' strategic interests in Hungary. She couldn't name a single one! It's no surprise. Her background doesn't exactly scream foreign affairs. The highlight of her resume is being the producer of the soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful. When asked about her qualifications, the White House said, 'she is a very intelligent woman who knows how to make friends'. Oh, well then, carry on.
Sway

Angry Days Continue. 26-28

Hello People. I am back from my brief Holiday Hiatus and as angry as ever! Let's get right to it...
#26 Pumpkin flavoring. What is up with all of this pumpkin flavoring? It's everywhere. Coffee, doughnuts, bagels, muffins, bread, ice cream, enough already. Pumpkins are disgusting. Nobody actually eats pumpkins. Even the pumpkin pie filling is mostly squash, not pumpkin. And what's with the "limited time" nonsense? It's not like you're using actual pumpkins. If the flavor is so popular, why not offer it year round? Is artificial pumpkin flavoring seasonal? I stopped for a muffin the other morning and the only option they had left was pumpkin. Why? Because it sucks!
#27 The St. Louis Rams. After working with police for a week to ensure that protesters in St. Louis wouldn't disrupt Sunday's Rams/Raiders game or interfere with their fans, a handful of Rams players decided to thank the police by coming out of the tunnel with their hands in the air in the "Don't shoot" position. Really classy! If ignorance is bliss, these guys must be downright euphoric. They were, of course, showing solidarity with those protesting the Ferguson Grand Jury's decision not to indict Darren Wilson on the new charge of "being a white police officer doing his job". Needless to say, the St. Louis police were not amused. They called on the NFL to discipline the players. That's not going to happen, because, unlike the NBA, the NFL claims to support freedom of speech. Yes, that was a Donald Sterling reference. Deal with it.
#28 Over-Hyping Everything. For the past week, here in Syracuse, all the buzz was about a "Major Concert Announcement" at the Carrier Dome. It was in the paper, on both radio and TV news, blanketing social media; a "Major" concert announcement. They held a press conference. Everyone was there waiting, panting, breathless. Guess what! Billy Joel is coming in March, for the 7th time! Seriously? In other news...The 80's called, they want their excitement back.
Sway

Angry Days 23-25

Hello People. You're making me nuts. You know that, right?
#23 The death of Journalism. Every time I think today's "journalists" have sunk as far as they can go, one steps up to prove me wrong. On Tuesday House Republicans selected their Standing Committee Chairs for the 114th Congress. Here's how Daniel Newhauser of the National Journal decided to cover that story:

November 18, 2014 House Republicans have selected white men to chair all but one of their standing committees next year.

The secretive Republican Steering Committee announced its recommendations late Tuesday after an all-day meeting to pick the heads of 17 committees, with all of those slots going to white men. Rep. Candice Miller, who was previously reappointed by Speaker John Boehner to lead the House Administration Committee, will remain the only woman to wield a gavel.

Mr. Newhauser, not only are you NOT a journalist, you're a jackass. You piss me off!

#24 JetBlue Airways Corp. has decided to improve it's lagging profit margin by making air travel even more unpleasant! They will be cutting the "leg room" between seats to about 33 inches, so they can squeeze in more seats and, if you fly coach, they'll be charging you to check your bags. Now, I know other airlines have done the same but, call me crazy, I'm not a CEO, if your goal is to attract more customers wouldn't it make more sense to offer more for less instead of less for more? 

#25 We all know that the Federal Government has a hard time managing it's (our) money but this is just ridiculous. So far this year, Medicare has shelled out $45 Billion dollars in erroneous "Fee for Services" payments. That's an error rate of nearly 13% for just one program! The Feds have doled out more than $100 Billion in "improper" payments a year for the past five years! It boggles the mind. 

Sway