Gray is the New Bleu

Hello My Dear Friends! Well, the Captors have gone and done it! They've dragged a new Captive into the prison! We, the lifers, hate her, of course. She's a real newbie too. I don't remember ever being that small. She's very needy and mouthy too. She kept coming up to me and saying, "Are you my Mama"? I tell her no, and she keeps coming back. So, I whacked her in the head. I said, "Hey, new kid, you've got a lot to learn. Do not be getting all up in my face. I'm old and I'm tired"! I told those darn Captors that I was not going to raise another one of their prisoners yet, here I am. She is a cute little bugger though.

Anyway, I can tell she's going to be a handful. First, she thinks she's way bigger than she is. She keeps trying to drink out of our water bowl. She can't reach it so she climbs on top. Every time she does, she falls in! I said, "Hey, new kid, you're kind of a dumbass. Drink out of the baby bowl"! But no. She's been walking around with wet paws all day! Next, she takes a header into our litter box! I say, "Hey, new kid, that little box is for you. You're too small for the big Kitty box". But no. In she goes, head first again. I say, "Hey, new kid, if you're gonna use that box you better cover up your business. I'm only gonna show you once. Don't be leaving your business lying around. That's a rule. Got it"? So far she seems to have learned that one but I'm keeping my eye on her. She's already doing the stairs! I had to spend the whole night on the top step to make sure the little nut didn't go tumbling down! I am really too old for this! Consequella has a different take on the situation....

I hate the Bitch! She's all hopping around and whinny. Come play with me, come play with me. So I whacked her in the head and said back off squirt. This is my prison. I ain't yo Mama! And stop sticking your feet in my water bowl! I told her, "Don't touch my stuff or I will end you"! She backed off and went crying to the Captors. What a wimp! Everyone's saying 'Awww, she so cute'. I told her, "Bitch, you will NEVER be as beautiful as me"! Then I whacked her again! Alfie agrees with me...

She keeps calling me Big Gray. I told her, "My name is Alfreda Baranski Fliskers. You can call me Your Highness". But no. She calls me Big Gray. So I whacked her in the head. Every one is saying how cute she is. Bah! Just another blue eyed demon. Like we don't have enough of those around here already! Today, she ate my food! I said, "Hey, blue eyed demon, eat your own food"! Then I whacked her in the head again. She's got the Captors all going, "Be nice! She's your little sister". I said 'she ain't no sister of mine'! Thinking she can just waltz in here and join the family. The nerve! She was even sitting on My Captor! Mine! I was so angry I hissed! Bitch made me hiss! She's only been here 24 hours and already it's chaos. Chaos I tell you! I don't know what those Captors were thinking!

Walk A Mile, My Friend!

People, people, people. If ignorance really is bliss, this has to be the happiest place on earth! So, former Olympian Bruce Jenner has completed his transition into Caitlyn. She is now a transgender woman. She is not a "he" or a "he/she" or any of the other charming terms I've heard used this week. She is a she. You don't have to understand it. I, personally, don't understand quantum physics. That doesn't make quantum physics wrong. When quantum physics comes up in conversation, I simply say, "I don't get it", No further comment necessary. It's okay not to understand the personal decisions that people make. It is not okay to diminish them for it. I can only imagine the internal struggle that transgender people go through. Life is hard enough when you are comfortable in your own skin. According to the American Foundation for the Prevention of Suicide, 45% of transgender people, aged 18-24, have attempted suicide. That compares to 13% of heterosexuals in that age range. Clearly the struggle is a difficult one. Uninformed people, making moronic comments, doesn't make it any easier. There is a movement afoot to have Bruce Jenner's olympic medal revolked. Apparently some people think that, because Caitlyn Jenner is now transgender, any accomplishments in 1976 should be void. That makes perfect sense to me. How could something you did nearly 40 years ago not be impacted by a decision you make today. We should all be held to those standards. So far, this week, I've heard countless people say it was a "publicity stunt" or that he did it for the money. Seriously? That's a little extreme, don't you think? One radiohead said, 'if this is right, then why can't I put on a dress, say 'I'm not Billy, I'm Betty', and apply for those government contracts they reserve for women-owned businesses'? I heard another say that there is no difference between a transgender person and someone who chopped off their own arm to become disabled. "What's the difference", he asked. Yet another, and this is my favorite, declared "It's not what God intended"! Let me address the latter first. You have no idea what God intended for Caitlyn Jenner. Just as you have no idea what God intended for you. In the big scheme of things, you may be God's disappointment. Perhaps you may want to actually read that bible that you are so quick to thump. Allow me to assist. Romans 14:4 Who are you to pass judgement on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. As for the other morons, putting on a dress does not make you a woman any more than putting on cleats would make you a ballplayer. Saying things that you perceive as clever doesn't make you clever, it makes you a jackass. As for mister 'chopped off his arm', I'm still scratching my head. Why would someone chop off their arm to become disabled? Wouldn't simply being stupid enough to think that was an option be disabling enough? Anyway, people, can we agree that there is no way to know why people do what they do until, as they say, you've walked a mile in their shoes? Caitlyn Jenner is this week's headline news. Just as Christine Jorgensen was in the 50's and Renee Richards was in the 70's. The world keeps on turning. Can't we all just get along?
Sway

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello People! The First Lady is at it again. Her latest target...Smores! According to her MyPlate website, FLOTUS wants us to leave the chocolate and marshmallows out of Smores. Don't panic. Mrs. Obama isn't asking you to sit around the campfire eating plain graham crackers. That would be silly. No, FLOTUS wants us to replace the chocolate and marshmallow with strawberries and low fat yogurt! YUM! I can just see it now. The kids all sitting around the fire with a strawberry on a stick, giddily waiting for it to heat up so they can slap it on a blob of low fat yogurt. Mouthwatering, isn't it? We'll have to change the name though. Smores, or S'Mores as they're technically called, implies that you would want more than one. This new version is more like Yuk on a Cracker so we'll call it the Yacker. The war on deliciousness continues!
Speaking of deliciousness, it looks like the fine people of Mississippi can't resist it! For the second year running, Mississippi has been named the State with the highest obesity rate at 35.2%.  I guess they're not eating all of those soybeans they're growing. New York State, by the way, was among the lowest in the Nation with an obesity rate of 24.7%. I assume that's because people in this State can't afford to over eat! Anyway, I can't help but wonder where they're hiding the scales. How else would they know how much everyone weighs?
So, the always entertaining (for all the wrong reasons), Reverend Al Sharpton took to Twitter Wednesday to pose this question, (I'm quoting directly here) "Do you think the Texas flooding is related to climate control or God's Rebuke"? He tagged that moment of brilliance with #KeepingItReal. Oh Al, where to begin. First of all, it's climate change, not climate control. Next, what, in your divine understanding, did the fine people of Texas do that would prompt God to go all Old Testament on them? The real question here, Dear Reverend, is "Are you an example of our failed education system or just a personification of idiocy"? I'm leaning toward the latter.
Finally, in his younger days, Democratic Presidential Candidate Bernie Sanders wrote an essay saying that "women fantasize about being gang-raped". When questioned, his campaign said it was a failed attempt at satire. The "media" accepted that explanation and moved on. Nothing to see here. I can't help but wonder if the reaction would have been the same if the name on the bottom of that sick piece of crap was Ted Cruz or Chris Christie. I'm guessing it wouldn't be.
Sway

Please Make It Stop!

Hello People! Let me begin by saying that I know that, in many ways, I am a dinosaur. Even though I try to "move with the times"  and "keep an open mind" but sometimes it just doesn't work for me. For instance, only in New York can this be banned for being "patently offensive"...

And this be allowed as "protected speech"...

This is so far beyond insane, I've had to make up a new work for it. It's Fukaloonie! I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm living in some alternate dimension. How do sane people make decisions like this? And, more importantly, where is the outrage? Where is the freaking outrage! Have we really become so indifferent to the world around us that we just shake ours heads and move on? Apparently so. While all this was going on, the top trending stories were the National Spelling Bee and Man Covers Himself in Bees. Priorities, I guess. A Feuilleton is part of a European magazine or newspaper designed to entertain the general reader, Note the spelling, it may serve you later.

With all that said, you probably also don't care that the Government just granted......

$200,000 of your tax dollars to fund a study of 'how and why Wikipedia is sexist'.

$371, 020 to study if 'mothers love dogs as much as their children'.

$804,254 to develop a smartphone game called "Kiddio: Food Fight" to help parents to get their kids to eat healthier foods.

$856,000 to teach Mountain Lions to walk on treadmills, apparently to better understand mountain lion instincts. Fukaloonie!

My point here, yes I actually have one, is that our priorities seem to be a bit askew. I'm just saying that if we paid a bit more attention to what our Government was doing, perhaps we won't be so surprised when what they're doing bites us in the ass.

Sway

Shame on You

Hello People. I'm sure you've heard all of the outrage lately over "social shaming". It started entertainingly enough, with people posting pictures of their remorseful dogs wearing signs that said "I tore up the trash" or "I peed on the carpet". But, today, this practice has spiraled out of control. There are websites, Facebook pages and Twitter feeds dedicated to "shaming" people. I'm not saying that some people don't deserve to have their bad behavior revealed. They do. But some of these sites are just vicious for the sake of being vicious. One site takes random selfies off other sites and post them just to ridicule the people in them. One site allows people to post pictures of women they consider "sluts". High school kids have a place to post pictures and comments, anonymously of course, of fellow students. These pictures and comments, as you can imagine, are cruel and meant to disgrace the target. This is the downside and ugly underbelly of technology.  Allowing people to anonymously slander or humiliate innocent people has led to an unprecedented wave of hate. Social shaming does have consequences but not always the ones you would think. People have lost their jobs, marriages have ended, kids have been forced to change schools, been thrown out of college, and in some cases, the worst case scenario plays out, and the victim takes their own life. Why? Because some angry idiot decides it would be "funny" to post disgusting things about someone who they don't like or, in many cases, don't even know. This is the world we live in. Anything you do, say or wear could be captured on a cellphone and uploaded to the internet for the whole world to judge. One person posts it, someone else shares or retweets it and the next thing you know, thousands of people have weighed in. I'm not talking about "Corporate Shaming" here, where you post about bad service or broke products. I'm talking about these personal attacks on individuals who've done nothing more than crossed your path. One site, The People of Walmart, was created for just this purpose. They don't even blur the faces of the people they're shaming. It's unbelievable mean. But it isn't just random shaming. Last week I came across a Facebook assault on a friend of mine. I won't get into names or details but what I saw amazed me. The victim of the attack is a hard working business owner who is selflessly involved in our community. The "attackers" were all involved with one person, who had a falling out with the victim. Their posts attacked him personally, his family and his business for no other reason than spite. It was ridiculous and upsetting. First, these "attackers" don't realize that by trying to destroy one member of our community, you diminish us all. They probably also live in their Mom's basement or on a friends couch. I cannot stop these people. I am not the Jackass Whisperer. What I can do, what we all can do, is call these people out for the haters that they are. Not by social shaming them in return. By personally calling them out. We all know people who do this this. You need to tell them that it is not acceptable. If you don't know the source, don't share the hate by commenting. Commenting on hateful posts does no good. It gives the attackers what they want. It gives them a larger audience for the hate. Delete them. Block them. Report their posts to the site administrator. It only takes a minute. If we, the people, don't do something to stem the tide of this cyber lunacy it will continue to grow and spread. We have, for too long, accepted the fact that we've lost right to privacy. Here's a news flash. We didn't lose our right to privacy, we gave it away. I, personally, would not wear a tube top to Walmart but, damn it, people have a right to do it without being humiliated on the internet. It's time st stand up people! It's time to put an end to social shaming.
Sway

Just When I thought I'd Heard It All!

Hello People. Just when I thought you people could no longer amaze me, BAM, you do it again! The Washington Post is reporting that another prisoner in the Baltimore police van with Freddie Gray, says Gray was trying to injure himself. Really? The prisoner, who will remain anonymous for his own safety, reportedly says he couldn't see Gray but he heard him throwing himself around. Seriously? So now, apparently, we just have to determine if he severed his own spine before or after he crushed his own windpipe. Hey Baltimore PD, you've had nearly two weeks and this is the best story you could come up with? This whole situation has been mishandled from the beginning. Batten down the hatches Baltimore, I fear things are about to go from bad to worse. Believe me people, no one supports the police more than I do but this is ridiculous. Freddie Gray was not a good guy. He had dozens of prior arrests. But, if I don't buy this story how do you think it's going to fly on the street of Baltimore? While I'm at it Baltimore, where did you get your Mayor, Craig's List? What a hot mess!
Brace yourselves for this one....A U.S. District Judge in Manhattan has ruled that the Metropolitan Transportation Authority must display ads on their buses and subway cars that read "Killing Jews is worship that draws us close to Allah". The judge, John Koelti, ruled that the ads, paid for by the American Freedom Defense Initiative, were protected speech under the First Amendment. You can't make this stuff up people. The so-called "Kill Jews" ad features a menacing man wearing a scarf around his head and face and goes on to say "That's His Jihad, What's Yours"? I don't know what First Amendment Judge Koelti was reading but the one I'm familiar with does not protect speech that "promotes lawless activity". I'm pretty sure that calling for the murders of innocent people falls under the "not covered" portion. I can't even fathom what was going through that judge's mind. It makes no sense at all yet, there it is.
I will leave you with a happy story. The captor was driving home the other day. An accident had the highway backed up and, as usual, no one was letting anyone in. As the captor say with her blinker on waiting to merge, she noticed a pick-up truck approaching that was decked out with NY Yankees paraphernalia. The captor, who was, of course, wearing her Yankees jacket, turned to the pick-up, now beside her, and pointed to the Yankees logo on her jacket. The pick-up driver smiled, waved and slowed down to allow the captor to merge ahead of him. Thanks Dude! You just have to love Yankees' fans. It's a family thing!
Sway

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello People. Happy Friday. I would actually mean that if it were still snowing! I would like someone to track down this Mother Nature and punish her. Bitch needs to pay! Anyway, I've been wondering, if the delicious Greek sandwich Gyro is actually pronounced year-o, why is the country not pronounced yeese? Anyone know? Ukrainian singer Kristina Karo has filed a lawsuit against actress Mila Kunis (Mrs. Ashton Kutcher). Karo claims that, 25 years ago, she and Kunis were 1st grade friends and that Mila was so jealous over Karo's pet chicken, named doggie, that she stole it! Karo, to this day, is devastated! That's why she is suing Kunis for $5000. Also, she has a new music video coming out and no one has ever heard of her. Personally, I'm a big fan of chicken, but $5000 seems a bit excessive. Karo says she needs that amount to pay for therapy sessions she needs to cope with the loss of her beloved poultry. One would think the statute of limitations on chicken thieving would have run out after 25 years. Also, there's that whole 'it happened in another country' thing. Lucky for Karo, she now lives in Los Angeles, where anything goes! I shouldn't single out California. A New York Supreme Court judge has agreed to hear a case that would give chimpanzees human rights. Yup! She issued a writ of habeas corpus which legally recognizes the chimps as people. The case surrounds two chimps being held for research at Stony Brook University. The chimps, or at least their advocates, are arguing that is "unlawful imprisonment". Your tax dollars in action! Tonight on TV is the big ABC Bruce Jenner exclusive. Most people believe that Jenner will unveil that he is transitioning into a woman. I think, if this is true, the important take-away will be that the question of 'how far will someone go to get away from Kris Kardashian' will finally be answered! Hey, do you eat a lot of shrimp? Consumer Reports examined 342 samples of frozen shrimp, from food retailers in 27 cities, and guess what! 60% of the shrimp tested was contaminated with bacteria! Most of the shrimp sold in the US comes from Thailand, Vietnam, China, Bangladesh and India. The shrimp was contaminated with Listeria, E. Coli and salmonella. 2% carried MRSA (that's the drug resistant super bug). Still hungry? 83% of the raw shrimp from Bangladesh was tainted; 74% from India. I don't like those odds but hey, you never know! If you are going to roll the dice, make sure you know where the shrimp came from and be sure to cook it thoroughly. With that, Enjoy the Weekend!
Sway