Hello My Dear Friends. Today I must share with you the horrific news that Mayor Stubbs, the Mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska was brutally attacked and mauled BY A DOG! That's right! The 16 year incumbent Mayor barely survived, suffering a punctured lung, fractured sternum and a five inch gash to his side! I am beyond appalled. This, by the way, is Mayor Stubbs...
...and he is the duly elected Mayor of Talkeetna, an Historical District of about 800 humans, located about 110 miles north of Anchorage. He is currently heavily sedated and fighting for his life. The suspect, described only as "a large dog" is still at large. If you have any information on this brutal attack...
Anyway, it is not really unusual to have an animal as Mayor. The Mayor of Syracuse, for instance, is an ass. The Mayor of San Diego was a dog (metaphorically of course) and many Mayors have been known to be rats! So, my dear friends, how do you know if your Mayor is actually a cat? (You knew this was coming)
5. His recent campaign appearances were viewed over a million times on YouTube.
4. Town holds an annual "Whiska Lickin" Festival
3. Runs on a promise to eliminate mice
2. Presents visiting dignitaries with the squeaky toy to the city
and, the #1 way to know if your Mayor is actually a cat...
1. The budget is balanced and taxes go down!
Po
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