Don't Read This. It's Depressing.

Hello My Dear Friends! You don't take direction very well, do you? I say 'don't read this' and here you are. Well rebel child, you've been warned.  As many of you know, the Captor lost her Mama a few months ago. I, personally, was literally ripped from the teat of my Mama at the tender age of 8 weeks and swept away to this Godforsaken prison! But, that's my cross to bear. This is about the Captor, who, by the way, was the one who kidnapped me! Sorry. I can't help myself. I'm bitter. I admit it. Anyway, I sat with the Captor today as she was missing her Mama. Grieving, like anything else, is a process. We've all heard about the "7 stages of grief". No two people grieve the same but, if I had to guess, I would put the Captor at Stage 4, depression and reflection. Grief is a strange emotion. It's not like anger, where you can scream it out. Grief comes in waves. You never know what is going to trigger it or what your physical response to it will be. Sometimes it's tears, sometimes it's physical pain, sometimes it's just an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. You can't help but wonder when it is going to end but, at the same time, you're afraid to let it go. It seems like moving on would somehow be unfair; a betrayal of sorts. It isn't, I know, but we can rarely control such feelings. Well meaning friends and loved ones offer comfort by saying things will get better. Of course they will. But that doesn't really help right now. It's funny how your mind wanders to once forgotten places. Long gone memories of childhood return as vividly as yesterday's front page. It's comforting and incredibly sad at the same time. That's grief, I guess. It's a mash up of emotions that you can't separate or control. It's happy memories clouded by despair. It's a stream of 'what if's' and 'I wish I had's'. It's a feeling of helplessness, knowing things can't be changed but still wanting so badly to change them. It's frustration and confusion. It's a nagging feeling that you've forgotten to do something and then remembering that there's no need to do it anymore. It's regret. You think about all of the times you were "just too busy" with your own life to make time for them. You think of all of the excuses you made to get out of going back home because you just "weren't in the mood". Now, you think about what you would give to have that time back. You think about how you would get annoyed by hearing the same stories over and over again, and what you would give now to hear those stories one more time. It's inconceivable. How does life slip by so quickly? Hours turn into days; days into years. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the minutia of life that we lose sight of what makes life worth living. Someone said once that you can judge a good life by how many people loved you. I think that's a pretty good gauge. I'm going to think about that more often. Well, you've hung around this long so here's the kicker. Do you know what brought all this on today? Zucchini. Yup. Zucchini. Who remembers a loved one with summer squash? The Captor, that's who. I can't explain it, I can just say it's better than cabbage. No one remembers a loved one with cabbage. Do they?
Po

It's a Mad, Mad World!

Hello My Dear Friends! I apologize for my laziness lately. It's been a while since I've been able to sit down and collect my thoughts to share with you. It's no surprise that, in my absence, the world has once again gone mad! Where to begin? Let's start with the Ex-Im Bank. The what? You're going to be hearing a lot about this in the coming months. The Export-Import Bank, simply put, redirects your Federal Tax Dollars to foreign entities so they can purchase American made products overseas. It's charter with the U.S. Government is set to expire at the end of September and a political fight over extending it is brewing. Who benefits from the work of the Ex-Im Bank? Well, lately the biggest beneficiaries have been Boeing, Enron and General Electric. All companies, as you know, that are in dire need of taxpayer support. Last year the Ex-Im Bank backed $34.7 billion in exports. In the 2nd quarter of this year, Boeing reported a 52% increase in profits or $1.65 Billion. That's one quarter's profits. I'm just saying.....
The Government announced this week that the economy continues to improve and that inflation has been kept in check. I can only assume that the Government hasn't been to a grocery store this year! Now, I realize that there is a very complicated, incomprehensible formula to gauge "inflation". I, being a simple Cat, don't understand all of the math. I do, however, understand that the cost of food has doubled, gas prices are ridiculously high, energy costs have skyrocketed and taxes are out of control. I'd call that inflation. Apparently, none of those factors play in to the inflation rate. Oh well, then I guess things are great!
It's been reported this week that folks in Colorado are using their EBT (welfare) cards to buy weed! I, for one, am shocked! Who could have seen this coming? The Government wants to add marijuana parlors to the list of places where you can not withdraw cash on your EBT card, along with casinos and liquor stores. Brilliant! That should fix the problem. They'll never think to stop by the 7-11 on their way to the weed store and grab their cash! Why don't we try this instead. Since all major retailers, grocery stores and service providers accept EBT cards as payment, how about stopping cash withdrawals all together? Has it not crossed anyone's mind that the only reason to make a cash withdrawal on an EBT card is to purchase something you're not supposed to? Look, I have no problem helping people in need, BUT, people in need of weed are not really on my radar!
With the "crisis" on the border continuing, wars raging in the Middle East, and Russia on a rampage, our U.S Congress has made a decision. They're taking their 5 week summer vacation as scheduled! LOL! A well earned rest from all of the stress of doing nothing for so long! Whew! I feel better.
Po

Hey, People Make Mistakes!

Hello My Dear Friends. Can you believe how so many people go nuts these days over simple human error? Take the CDC for example. Yes, a group of highly paid scientists "forgot" to inactivate a deadly strain of Anthrax before shipping it to a lower lab. It's not like they shipped it in a Ziplock bag! Oh wait, yes they did! That's right. Highly "trained" scientists, tasked with keeping us safe from deadly strains of Anthrax, Smallpox, and other nefarious diseases, took a deadly strain of Anthrax, popped it in a plastic bag, and shipped it to another lab where those unsuspecting workers were exposed to it. Yikes! In their defense, they say the "didn't know the strain was dangerous". Really? Isn't that kind of your job? I know Anthrax is dangerous and I'm not a scientist. So the CDC had one little lapse in judgement, why make a federal case out of it? Well, because, as it turns out, it wasn't one little lapse. While investigating the Anthrax "lapse" investigators discovered that the same brain trust had also accidentally cross contaminated a relatively safe strain of the flu with a potentially deadly strain of the virus! These, as you know, are the same people who send the materials to the companies that create our flu vaccines. That's a bit of a concern, don't you think? Investigators also found things like Smallpox and Anthrax stored in unlocked refrigerators. Those investigators, from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, found, what they called "an alarming series of failures" and a "general lack of workers following safety protocols". CDC execs say workers may need more training. Gee, ya think? If these scientists can't distinguish between "deadly" and "inactive" strains of a virus, should they really be allowed to handle this stuff? May I suggest this method:

It seems to work pretty well for everyone else. Just trying to help here.

Po

WFT! I've Been Violated!

Hello My Dear Friends! Please brace yourself because I have a horrifying tale to tell. It all started quite innocently. My personal physician, Dr. Rae Clark came by the prison for my check up. That's right, my personal physician makes house calls. I do not travel. I hate the car. Anyway, Dr. Clark came by to see me and I endured the usual poking and prodding. And then, while the Dumb Captor (Kathy) was away, the Mean Captor (Mike), well, agreed to this......

My Worst Day Ever

I am devastated! Why, people, Why? The Doctor and her evil assistant SHAVED me! SHAVED ME! By the time the Dumb Captor got home, it was too late. The carnage had already begun. She was stunned. I know this would not have happened if she were home. My "Enemy List" grew extensively yesterday. They will pay for this torture. I am the laughing stock of the prison I once ruled. I may never recover.

Pray for me People. This is the worst day of my life!
Po

NIMBY!

Hello My Dear Friends! You've all heard the expression "Not In My Backyard". Well, it looks like we're about to get a chance to live it. By "we", I mean ME! As you know, the Government is looking for new places to stash the thousands of illegal immigrants pouring over our unprotected or under-protected southern border. The Feds are now looking to move about 200 unaccompanied minors from Central America to a vacant convent owned by the Sisters of Saint Francis. That particular convent happens to be about 8 blocks from my house! I happen to know that there are four vacant school buildings in Washington, D.C. Why not move the little angels there? As a matter of fact, the Government currently owns 77,000 empty or nearly empty buildings, costing taxpayers $1.7 Billion a year! Why not house these future tax burdens in one of those structures? Why move them to a residential neighborhood in Syracuse, NY? I'll tell you why. Because they can. Now, our President is asking for $3.7 billion to "address this crisis". Are you kidding me? Here's an idea. Instead of loading them into buses and shipping them to unwitting small town neighborhoods, load them into buses and send them back to where they came from! Look, I'm not anti-immigration. My grandparents were immigrants. Legal Immigrants. I'm all for legal immigration. What's happening now is tantamount to an invasion. It needs to stop. So, today, the President went to Texas. Not to visit the border. To raise money for democratic candidates. He's not getting within 500 miles of the border. So, in the midst of the "crisis" the President decides to ask for billions of dollars but can't find the time to actually visit the devastated area. Classy. That's leadership at it's finest. The President also says that republican requests to finally complete the "Mexican Border Fence" are ridiculous. The President says fences don't keep people out. It makes one wonder why, then, there is a fence around the White House. Why do we build fences around airports? Why do we build fences at all? I guess they're just pretty. So, as the Presidents skips around the country raising money and Congress sits on it's collective ass and does nothing, I guess I'll just roll out the welcome mat for my 200 new neighbors!
Po

My War Begins!

Hello My Dear Friends! Let me start by wishing you all a safe and happy Independence Day! Your fireworks scare the hell out of me but, I'll deal with it! Now, as I told you the other day, I have declared an all out, unabashed war on stupid! It didn't take very long to find combatants. Let's start with the great State of New York. This weekend is the most dangerous, statistically, on the roads. So NYS put up 500 electronic message signs warning drivers of the dangers of distracted driving! Do the signs read, "Stop reading this message and put your eyes back on the road"? No, they do not. Who was the genius who decided that the way to combat distracted driving was to line the roads with distractions? STUPID!
The Federal Government (need I say more?) released the latest numbers on the "success" of the Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare). They report that, after 9 months of trying, they have been unable to resolve 85% of the 2.9 million "inconsistencies" on applications submitted. The vast majority of those "inconsistencies" involve citizenship and/or income. Details, details! Yes, those are the two most important aspects of registration, but they'll work it out eventually. One state run marketplace managed to classify infants and young children as "incarcerated"! That certainly gives new meaning to "Baby Jail". The Fed went on to say that there is NO EVIDENCE that anyone intentionally tried to defraud the system to get benefits or subsidies they were not entitled to. LOL! What are they basing that on, the incredibly successful and fraud free medicaid system? Hey Genius, people are defrauding the system. It's what people do. STUPID!
A 5-year old boy, in Surprise, Arizona, pulled down his pants on the playground. I don't know why. It could be because he's a FIVE YEAR OLD BOY! It doesn't matter though. He was taken to the administrator's office where he was told to sign a note admitting to "Sexual Misconduct", which was then placed in his permanent file. The boy was then given detention. All of this took place BEFORE his parents were called. When his mother complained she was told that a parent need not be present during disciplinary hearings unless requested by the student. The 5 year old kindergarten student? Apparently he wasn't aware that he had the right to counsel before admitting to a sexual offense. Imagine that! The school board says it is what it is. It doesn't matter if the student is 5 or 15. The rules are clear. Seriously? STUPID STUPID STUPID!
Po

My War On Stupid!

Hello My Dear Friends! Hot enough for ya? It seems like every time there is a Supreme Court ruling or major Government policy change all of the morons race to the forefront to proudly wave their "ignorance flag". First off, the case decided by SCOTUS was " Sebelius vs Hobby Lobby". That's because the point at issue was not part of the Affordable Care Act. It was a mandate added by HHS after the bill was passed. It was never voted on by our elected officials. Without taking sides on the SCOTUS ruling let me just say that no one is being denied birth control. The Pill is still covered. 16 of the 20 contraceptives listed in the HHS mandate are covered. The ruling allowed 4 specific options to be omitted from coverage. Those options, they argued, amount to sterilization or are used after, what the church considers, is when life begins. Agree or disagree, it's up to you. I am a little perturbed by the people who insist that a business has no right to "impose their religious beliefs on their employees". Really? So, I assume all of these people will be working on Christmas? Easter? These are the same people who went ballistic when retail stores opened on Thanksgiving. If you truly believe that religion has no place in business then you have to believe that religious holidays should be like every other work day, right? I know, you're thinking this is comparing apples to oranges but I disagree. Once again, the vocal opposition is picking and choosing what they believe is right for everyone. Guess what. Nothing is right, or wrong, for everyone. Hobby Lobby employees, who, by the way, start at a minimum wage of $14 an hour, can get the "morning after" pill at Planned Parenthood. They're not being denied. My insurance didn't cover my cholesterol medication. I paid for it out of pocket. Life's like that. There are, of course, calls for a boycott of Hobby Lobby. Why not? Put them out of business! Then all of those employees will get their IUD's paid for, right? Our money says "In God We Trust"; the Supreme Court begins each session with a prayer; there were 11 Christmas trees in the White House last year; elected officials are sworn in with their hand on a bible. The SCOTUS decision hasn't broken any new ground or flung open any floodgates. There is no war on women in this Country. You're being manipulated. Stop letting others convince you that you are a victim. If you want to see what an actual war on women looks like, you need only to look at Nigeria, Iraq or India. Those women are under attack. So, my friends, today I declare a War on Stupid. Join me or unfriend me because there's no turning back now!
Po