Politics at it's Finest

Hello my dear friends. I'm sorry you didn't win the Mega Millions jackpot. Or did you? If so, let's talk privately! If not, do not contact me. I'm busy! So, in this current economic climate we're all cutting back, pinching pennies, trying to make ends meet. We are also watching the United States Supreme Court, waiting for them to decide whether portions of Obamacare may be unconstitutional. While you and I wait to see how the high court rules, the Gubmint isn't letting any moss grow on them. Oh no! They are currently hiring 4000 new IRS agents to enforce the new health care laws that haven't even been enacted yet! The cost? Only 303 million dollars. That, of course, it just the start up cost. It's a steal, really. No need to add in the 4000 salaries, benefits and pension costs. The Gubmint did say we needed to create jobs. I just didn't think they meant they would be creating those jobs. At least someone is hiring! Washington, by the way, spends $25 billion dollars a year to maintain unused or vacant federal properties. Ouch! The census bureau spent $2.5 million for an ad during the Superbowl. Do you remember the ad? I didn't think so. The National Institutes of Health spent $800,000 in "stimulus funds" to study the impact of a "genital-washing program" in South Africa. I suspect the impact was cleaner genitals. Anyway, my point is that, in the big scheme of things, $303 million is a small price to pay to enforce a non-existent law. God bless America!
Po

Things that make you go Whaaat?

Hello my dear friends. I thought I would get a little nip buzz to ease myself into the weekend. I hope you'll do the same. Forbes Magazine did an article on the Most Overexposed Celebrities in America. The top 3 were Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan and Snookie. Yup. Forbes Magazine wrote an article on the people they believe get too much media exposure. What? A man is suing Guinness Book of World Record. Why? To prevent them from naming him as the most litigious man in the world. Huh? A raging wild fire in Jefferson County Colorado has burned more than 4100 acres, claimed at least two lives and destroyed 27 homes. How did it start? The Colorado State Forest Service started it as "a controlled burn". Oops.  President Obama, speaking to a group in Tampa, Florida said "The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries". Um, what? Sharron Angle, a republican running for Senate in Nevada was speaking to a group of Hispanic high school students when she said "what we want is a sovereign and secure nation and, you know, I don't know that all of you are Latino. Some of you look a little more Asian to me. I don't know that". LOL! Excuse me? Finally people, as you may have heard, the Mega Millions jackpot is up to 640 Million dollars. Nearly 200 million tickets have been sold in the past two days. The number one conversation heard among people waiting in line to purchase their tickets was how they can no longer afford to fill their gas tank! You people crack me up!  Enjoy the Weekend!
Po

Abercrombie & Fitch are at it again!

Hello my dear friends. Well it's that time of year again. Time for clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch to create  outrage (and media buzz) with their latest advertising campaign. Who could forget last year's push up bra for nine year olds! Anyway, you clearly need a gimmick to convince someone to spend $60 on a polo shirt. You'll recall their "gimmick" back in the early 2000's was to put out a catalog filled with naked youth in sexual positions. Well, 2012 isn't far behind! You'll note that the one thing missing, as is the case in nearly all Abercrombie & Fitch advertising, is their clothing. Enjoy....
Latest A & F Ad
Good Grief!
Po

Going Air Mail?

Hello my dear friends. Did you have a tough day at work? Is your job getting more stressful by the day? Do you find yourself daydreaming about what you would do if you won the lottery and could quit your job? Have you memorized the "shove it" speech you'll give the boss when you're able? We've all been there. I know, you're thinking "Not you PoKitty! You're living the dream". But, my friends, let me tell you that I too want to just chuck it some days. I can't help but wonder what happened that led the airline industry change places with the post office. Due to the growing number of airline employees freaking out, the phrase "going postal" no longer seems relevant.  So I thought it was time to do a little brainstorming, get ahead of the trend and come up with the newest euphemism for flipping out at work. I'm just spitballing here but I was thinking "Flying off the runway" or "Going Airborne". How about "flipped her flotation device" or "lost his luggage"? Maybe " Took a Wing Dinger". I admit it needs a little work. In the end John and Jane Q. Public will decide. One thing I know for sure. The fine women and men of the U.S. Postal Service will be first in line with suggestions!
Po

I'd Laugh if it Weren't So Sad!

Hello my dear friends. Just when I thought you people couldn't get any more out of control you exceed my expectations! The New York City Department of Education has come out with a list of words they want removed from all standardized testing. The words and phrases in question could be "upsetting" to some students. Now, you're probably thinking this list consists of politically incorrect terms or slang. You would be wrong. The list includes words like "dinosaur" and "birthday". What? That's right. You see "dinosaur" suggests evolution and could be upsetting to creationists. "Birthday" is so happy when you're a Jehovah's Witness and don't celebrate birthdays. How about "hurricane" or any natural disaster? Yup, banned! "Animal shelter"? Nope, can't use it. It may be too traumatic. Also on the list, "celebrity" (might make kids jealous); "poverty" (bad for the self esteem). "Hunting". "divorce" and "homelessness" also made the list! The NYC DOE also wants to nix any mention of or reference to...

Homes with swimming pools; Expensive gifts or vacations; Sports that require prior knowledge; Computers in the home (it's okay to mention computers in school); death and disease, junk food and rock and roll music! There's more! My friends, this is only a partial list! The people who came up with this concept, let alone this list, need to be drug tested immediately. I would call them Goobers but that would be an insult to Goobers everywhere. I would call this Political Correctness Gone Wild, but it's so far beyond even that! It's insanity disguised as leadership. It's uber inclusion to the point of isolation. Either or; all or nothing; everyone or no one. What is wrong with people! Just because I observe Christmas and you observe Yom Kippur now means neither one of us can discuss either? I'm getting myself all upset again! Here's the complete list:

Banned Word List

This is why I am here people. This is why I do what I do. Because I firmly believe that humans are no longer capable of running this world! Look at the MESS you're making of things! It's like a cancer, oops, sorry, that's on the list. It's an abuse (nope, list). It's a crime the (list). It's like the bottom of the 9th (sorry, sports analogy). It's like they're running away with (damn, list). It's an attack (nope) assault (banned) war on (sorry) Let me put it this way, if life were a video game Are you Serious? Television? RATS! rats are vermin, vermin is banned) What? I can't take it anymore! What's left to say? How about Censorship? Is that banned? Well, not yet anyway.

Po  (sorry, could be slang for poor and that's banned)

Princess (implies wealth, banned) Otahdodah Kitty

Dumb Dog Dance

Hello my dear friends. The captors have just returned from a visit to the Grandparents. They, of course, take the Big, Dumb Dog with them. They call her the "Granddog"! Ridiculous, right? Anyway, the dog gets so excited she dances around like a Goober. I offer you exhibit A:

We, the feline population of this prison, NEVER get to go to this "Grandma's House". Apparently "Grandma" doesn't like Kitties! What kind of person doesn't like Kitties? It's crazy! You can bet that, if we were invited, we wouldn't act all goofy like that dog. Say it with me friends, "Dogs drool, Kitties Rule!
Po

A near Cat-astrophe

Hello. Yes, my beauty does transcend time and space. Let's move on! I am a pretty agile Kitty. I can jump and climb with the best of them but, the story of Sugar the Cat, amazed even me! Sugar fell (or jumped) from a 19 story window and walked (or limped) away! Seriously, nearly 200 feet! She landed in a tiny pile of mulch, surrounded by concrete, in Boston! Now, if I were surrounded by Bostonians (probably Red Sox fans) I too would have jumped off a high rise first chance I got! Sugar's goober captor left the window open because it was hot. Don't they have screens is Boston? How uncivilized are these people?  Anyway, Sugar is going to be okay!

Sugar Story

She left quite an impression! God speed Sugar and, to your captor, BUY A SCREEN you F#@%$&*#% Goober!
Sway