Say It Ain't So!

Hello My Dear Friends. Once again, while watching the news, I began to wonder how civilization will survive. First, I hear about a recent study from the University of Michigan that says watching "romantic" shows like 'The Bachelor' are skewing people's beliefs of what romance should be. Really? The Bachelor? People, if you believe that group dating a stranger, while begging for a rose, is what romance should be, you've got yourself some issues. I suggest that you turn off the TV, plant a rose bush and seek therapy.
Former President Bill Clinton has taken to the 'talk circuit' in an attempt to mop up the mess the Mrs. made saying the couple was "dead broke" when they left the White House and that they're "not too well off" now. Since the Clinton's are worth about $200 million, opponents immediately said Mrs. Clinton was "out of touch" with the average American. Mr. Clinton, admitting they were "very fortunate" but said "being wealthy doesn't make you out of touch". He said that he and the Mrs.still go to their "local grocery store every weekend". LOL! Anyone believe that Bill and Hillary are out pricing beef and squeezing melons every weekend? As a matter of fact, I believe it was Bill's squeezing of melons while he was in the White House, that caused many of their problems. While I agree that being wealthy doesn't automatically mean that you're out of touch (unless you're Mitt Romney) I do believe that Mrs. Clinton may be "out of touch" with reality. She is currently on her way to UNLV to give a speech, for $250,000. In a related note, in an interview this week Chelsea Clinton said she "doesn't care about money". Then she went home to her $11 million dollar Ivory Tower in New York City. It's easy not to care about something you have so much of, I guess.
I'm sure, by now, you've heard about the Uruguayan soccer player who bit one of his Italian opponents on the shoulder. Most people grow out of that biting phase by age two. FIFA is investigating the incident and the biter, Luis Suarez, could face anything from a two game suspension to a two year suspension. That's not the amazing thing. The kicker is that Suarez has been suspended TWICE BEFORE for doing the exact same thing! Correct me if I'm wrong but, if you walked up to a person on the street and bit them, you'd be arrested, right? I, myself, have had overwhelming cravings for Italian food, but this seems a little extreme. Soccer is a tough game and every team has an enforcer, but why not just kick him in the nuts like everyone else? I think Mr. Suarez has some deeper issues. Maybe he's teething. Perhaps it's an oral fixation issue. I don't know but I think he needs to go.
Po

I'm Back!

Hello My Dear Friends! It's been a while, I know, but sometimes I just need a little break. Where to begin...
Let's start with the US exchange student that had to be rescued from a giant vagina. Yup. The 20 year old boy genius climbed inside the sculpture in Tubingen, Germany, got stuck and had to be rescued. How proud his family must be. Here's a picture of the little rascal.

Here's a little life lesson for you. "Double Dog Dares" shouldn't work on anyone older than 5. The future is not bright my friends; not bright at all.
Last week, Secretary of State John Kerry, speaking at a Pride Event last week said that he was "working hard to ensure that by the end of my tenure, we will have LGBT ambassadors in our ranks". Really John? I do applaud the sentiment, but I'm a bit concerned that that is what you're working on. You do know that there are a few problems in the Middle East that may require your attention, right? And, just for the record, I would prefer you select ambassadors based on their resumes, not their sexual preference.
Tens of thousands of illegal immigrants, many of them unaccompanied minors, are pouring across the US border in Texas, overwhelming immigration workers. The government is now flying them to other states to be processed. Government officials say they don't know what sparked the massive movement. LOL! Really? You don't? Let me help you out with that one. Mr. President, in 2012 you rolled out your "Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals" (DACA), remember that? It allows illegal immigrants that arrive as minors to stay for up to four years without threat of deportation. Still wondering what sparked this flood? Last Friday in Guatemala Vice President Joe Biden, (you know him, right?), said "we're sending immigration judges, attorneys to represent these young people, and families with young people, and asylum officers. They have a right under our law to make the case that we're here because we're avoiding persecution". Nice job Joe. That should to slow the tide!
I'm sure you've heard more than enough about the battle to get the Washington Redskins to change their name. Personally, I would drop the "Washington" and keep the "Redskins". I find the former far more offensive. Anyway, I digress. Next on the chopping block, the Cleveland Indians. Yup. A group called "People Not Mascots" are filing suit to ax the Indians and their mascot "Chief Wahoo". The suit is expected to be filed next month. Look out Atlanta, is suspect you're next...
Po

Shocked? Really?

Hello My Dear Friends! Virginia Congressman, and sitting House Majority Leader, Eric Cantor was defeated in his republican primary race to seek re-election. It's the first time in history that a sitting majority leader has lost in a primary. Cantor lost to a relatively unknown economics professor named David Brat. The republican faithful said they were "shocked" by the defeat. LOL! Shocked? Really? So you thought, going in, that people were so happy with the job you were doing that there was no way an incumbent would be voted out? Surprise! Here's a news flash for you. People are sick and tired of the same old gridlocked, do-nothing, ultra-political politics that are crushing the hard working people of America. Now, be gone with you! One can only hope that democratic voters are as fed up as their republican counterparts. They all need to go. If only our federal representatives could keep their eye on the ball, and focus on what is most important for the people, as our illustrious state representatives are doing. This week, for instance, our state leaders are debating the pros and cons of designating the wood frog as the official State Amphibian! It's about damn time, right? How have we managed to survive this long without an official state amphibian? It makes one proud to be a New Yorker. While other state governments are wasting time on trivial matters like education, job creation and spending cuts, our leaders have the foresight to tackle the crucial amphibian debate! Thank you Senator John DeFrancisco! I guess you're not the useless windbag I thought you were. Now, lawmakers will tell you that this piece of legislation, proposed by a 4th grade class, is moving through government as a civics lesson, to show children how government works. I suggest that, if you want to teach children how government really works, you should try the following:
Bring the 4th grade class in to the cafeteria and tell them all to take out their lunch money. Divide them into 3 groups; those with more than a dollar, those with less than a dollar; those with no lunch money. Now, take 75 cents from the kids with more than a dollar, half of what the kids with less than a dollar have and give it all to the kids with no money. Welcome to Government 101. Want the advanced lesson? Now tell the group that lunch costs a dollar. When the kids, who can still afford it, get their lunch, take half of that away and give it to the other kids. Now you know how government works.
Po

Here's an Idea!

Hello My Dear Friends! Once again, the task of solving this Country's problems falls on me. It's okay. I have broad shoulders and, unlike our illustrious leaders, a healthy dose of common sense. I have written many times about how appalled I am at the way this Country treats our Veterans. It's a shameful disgrace! This fiasco at the VA is just the latest example of this government's total disregard for the men and women who defend this nation. Unlike other hardships our Veterans face, the VA disaster has the simplest of all solutions. SHUT IT DOWN! That's right. Eliminate the entire program. Our Veterans have earned the right to see whatever doctor, at whatever facility, they choose. It should not be lost on you that people who don't work, who have never done anything to help this nation, have a better health care plan than those who have risked their lives to protect our freedom. Isn't this what the abomination known as "Obamacare" was purported to be? Equal access to affordable health care for everyone? Why can't we just provide free, private sector health care for our military? Our Veterans deserve at least that much. And, by the way, if you're wondering how Obamacare will work, here's your answer. The VA is a government run health care system. It's an unmanageable bureaucracy that fails miserably while costing billions of dollars. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the government can't do anything better than the private sector. Let the private sector do it! Our Veterans would get the care they need and deserve. It would create tens of thousands of private sector jobs and it would save this Country billions of dollars in the long run. It's really quite simple my Friends, government is always the problem and never the solution. Get the government out of the health care business and we'll all be healthier for it. You're welcome!
Po

How to Spot a Moron

Hello My Dear Friends! I think that we all agree that this world is filled with people who are, let's say, morons. The problem is that most don't come with signs or markings. They look just like you and me, and then they speak! For instance, White House Spokesman Jay Carney, today, when questioned about the VA disaster, said that the Obama administration's transition team knew about the false reporting of wait times and the like back in 2008, thus, making it George Bush's fault. LOL! What do you think is worse, Mr. Carney, still blaming the previous administration for all of your failures and scandals, or admitting that you've known about this travesty for over SIX YEARS and have done NOTHING about it? Either way, you sir, are a moron. Former State Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno was, once again, acquitted of corruption charges. It's not that he didn't do it. It's because the US Supreme Court threw out the law he was initially convicted under in 2009. Here's the kicker. Bruno is now fighting to have his legal fees covered by the state (that's you and me). An obscure section of the Public Officers Law allows for reimbursement of "reasonable legal fees" if one is acquitted of charges filed. What does Mr. Bruno, a lawyer himself, claim are his "reasonable legal fees"? $4 million dollars! Mr. Bruno, you are a moron. The newly opened National September 11 Memorial and Museum has a gift shop. What? Not only are they selling souvenirs, someone chose to put the gift shop next to the "remains repository", an area where 8000 unidentified body parts are stored. Some of the items being sold include the "Darkness Hoodie", silk scarves depicting "lunchtime at the WTC Plaza and "Survivor Tree" earrings. Tasteful. Really tasteful. I can't identify this, or these morons by name, but I'm sure we'll know who they are soon enough. The scarf, by the way, is $95.
Po

Random Thoughts

Hello My Dear Friends! I hope your weekend is off to a great start. Beyonce released a statement regarding the now infamous video of her sister Solange slapping the swag out of Jay Z in an elevator. She said blah blah blah, we're all good. I, for one, am so relieved! Do we really want to live in a world where Beyonce and Jay Z can't make a go of it? Thank goodness the "news" covered this so extensively! Do you ever wonder why there are no "B" batteries? Yesterday, here in Syracuse, The Mayor, State Senator and U.S. Congressman held a press conference to announce that they had formed a coalition to educate people about the "digital divide"  The coalition, the Alliance for Reliable, Competitive High speed internet (ARCH), will be advocating for broadband internet policies that support consumers and support economic growth. The Mayor said, “I’m pleased to stand with fellow community leaders to spread awareness of this important issue.” The State Senator called it a "top priority". The Congressman, well, he's just a moron. My point here is that our roads and bridges are crumbling; we're in the midst of a heroin epidemic; the price of food is skyrocketing and THIS is your top priority? Really? How can products be "new" and "improved"? If they're new, what can you improve on? These things keep me up at night. Alec Baldwin, fresh off his arrest for douchebaggery, was again seen biking around NYC the wrong way on one way streets. Can any say 'desperate need for attention'? Alec, a word of advice, go away. You're incredibly annoying. In that song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"? I know, right? Finally, did you see the video of the cat saving the little boy from the neighbor's dog? Did you see the end of the video, when the dog returned? The mother runs away, leaving the boy behind! Thank God for cats. That's all I have to say!
Po

Words Mean Things. Learn the Meaning!

Hello My Dear Friends! I have, in the past, been accused of being a card carrying member of the "grammar police". I understand that many people find that annoying. Therefore, if you are among the aforementioned, stop reading now! Okay, now that they're gone, I'd like to address three words that have been tossed around lately. Apparently, while I was napping, someone chose to give these words dual meaning.
#1 Rant. Ever since the Donald Sterling tapes were released, media outlets and others have been referring to the Sterling rant. Then, after the Anderson Cooper interview, we heard about latest Sterling rant. Apparently these people believe that rant means to say something objectionable. It doesn't. Rant, according to Merriam-Webster, means to "talk in a noisy, excited, or declamatory manner. To scold vehemently". That's not what happened so stop saying it did.
#2 Reform. The word "reform" does not mean to simply change something, it means to "put or change in an improved form".  Therefore, I contend that all of the talk from the White House this week about Immigration Reform, is simply wrong. The "reform" Bill currently being debated, among others things, would allow immigrants to commit up to three crimes, prior to gaining citizenship, without being deported. That's not reform. That's the opposite of reform. Are you aware that ICE (Immigration and Customs enforcement) released over 36,000 convicted criminals, in the Country illegally and awaiting deportation, in 2013? Oh, yes they did. Among them, 200 murders, over 400 rapists and 300 kidnappers. In all, they were responsible for 88,000 crimes in the U.S. That's nearly 100 per day. This new immigration bill would make a lot of that okay. That's not reform.
#3 Unalienable.  The word "unalienable" means "impossible to take away or give up". The Constitution of these United States gave us certain "unalienable" rights. Apparently that impossible part of the definition is subjective. The only unalienable thing I see today is the unlimited power given to government, and that is not a good thing and, if we don't rant about it, we will never see reform!
Po