Happy Birthday To Me!

Hello My Dear Friends! Today and Tomorrow are my Birthday! Why two days you ask? Because I was born on February 29th (2000). Yes. I am a Leap Kitty! Since there is no 29th this year I will celebrate on the 28th and the 1st. It's only fair. In years past, the captives have thrown huge parties to mark the most important day in Kitty History; the day of my birth. I have no idea what the captors are planning this year. They love to surprise me. Last year they surprised me by going on vacation, without me, and leaving me behind with a sitter! Believe me, that was quite a surprise. This year, out of guilt, I'm anticipating a better show. I suspect tonight will be a quiet dinner with the family. The goofy captor already baked a kitty cake. That, if you're wondering, is a cake that is safe for kitties to eat. I haven't tasted it yet but, so far, I'm not impressed. You be the judge...

It looks kind of scary to me. I'll have The Biz taste it first. That cat will eat anything! Anyway, I'm guessing that the real celebration will be tomorrow night. I haven't heard any planning but I'm sure they wouldn't stiff me two years in a row. Would they? I'll keep you posted!
Po

Here We Go Again!

Hello My Dear Friends. I am hereby banning the use of the word "Sequestration". I do not want to hear it again. This political practice of manufacturing crises in an attempt to look powerful is the reason people hate politicians. The President blames republicans in Congress. Republicans blame the President. Anyone with a 6th grade education knows that "the S word I will not speak" could not have become law unless Congress passed it and the President sign it. The President proposed it, Congress approved it and the President signed it into law. Period. They are ALL to blame. This political game of chicken is doing irreparable damage to this Country. I don't care which side of the political aisle you're on, this sucks, and it has to stop. Here's a shock. The same people who enacted  "the S word I will not speak" can stop it at any time. Here's another shocker. The "devastating spending cuts" don't actually cut spending at all. The "automatic across the board cuts" that will so devastate this nation only cut "projected budget increases" in spending. That's right! There will be absolutely NO cuts to existing budgets. So what, you ask, is all of the hoopla about? It about this Government wanting to continue it's drunken sailor type spending habits with no way to foot the bill. It's manufactured drama to scare people into accepting another increase in taxes. This way, the millionaires on Capitol Hill can continue to throw money around with impunity, and we The People can be grateful. In the immortal words of the Wicked Witch of the West, "what a world"!
Po

Say It Ain't So Joe!

Hello My Dear Friends. Not since Dan Quayle has America had a more verbally gifted Vice President than Joe Biden. We all shook our heads when Dr. Biden told Missouri State Senator Chuck Graham, a paraplegic, to "stand up and let 'em see ya"! We cringed when he offered condolences to Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen for his mother, "God, rest her soul and, although...wait...what? Oh, your mother's still alive? Your dad passed? God, rest her soul".  Then there was the time he told Katie Couric how, when the stock market crashed in 1929, FRD went on television and said "Look, here's what happened". Of course, FDR wasn't President in 1929, Herbert Hoover was, and there was only experimental television at the time. That's just Joe being Joe. A few of my other favorites include "Folks, I've known 8 Presidents, 3 of them intimately".  "My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be President of the United States I could be, I could be Vice President". "The number one job facing the middle class happens to be a three letter word, jobs. J-O-B-S"! I could go on and on and on but, in the interest of time and space, I'll get to my point. On Tuesday, during a Facebook Town Hall hosted by Parents Magazine (which he claims to read regularly) Biden said in response to a question about the proposed gun ban:

"If you want to protect yourself, get a double barreled shotgun," Biden responded. "I promise you, as I told my wife, we live in an area that's wooded and somewhat secluded. I said, Jill, if there's ever a problem, just walk out on the balcony here, walk out, put [up] that double barreled shotgun and fire two blasts outside the house." The vice president said that by firing two shotgun blasts, anyone who might be trying to break in would be scared off. "You don't need an AR-15," he said. "Buy a shotgun! Buy a shotgun!"

Let's set aside, for the moment, that what he suggests, firing indiscriminately off your balcony, is illegal in about 40 states. Let's even pretend that we believe he actually offered that advice to his wife and didn't just make it up on the spot. Let's even take solace in the fact that he didn't suggest peeing or vomiting on the attacker. Let's not, however, just add it to the list of idiotic things that spill from the mouth of this Syracuse University educated man. This time, let's stand together for the sake, sanity and reputation of America and say Vice President Dr. Joe Biden, please, for the love of God, just once, embrace the beauty of the unspoken thought!

Po

Just When I Thought I'd Heard It All

Hello My Dear Friends. Just when I thought I'd heard every stupid political position possible, Colorado State Representative Joe Salazar has become the undisputed King of Stupidity. Let me set the table for you. Colorado Legislators were debating a bill that would ban concealed weapons on college campuses. Gun advocates argued that the law would leave women defenseless against rapists on campus. Mr. Salazar decided to dispute that argument with his keen insight into women. Here is a portion of his remarks:
“It’s why we have call boxes, it’s why we have safe zones, it’s why we have the whistles. Because you just don’t know who you’re gonna be shooting at, and you don’t know if you feel like you’re gonna be raped, or if you feel like someone’s been following you around or if you feel like you’re in trouble when you may actually not be, that you pop out that gun and you pop … pop a round at somebody.”
So, according to Mr. Salazar. women should be banned from carrying concealed weapons because they might just think they're being raped and shoot an innocent guy. Okaaaay. It gets worse. Shortly after Mr. Salazar's remarks, which he stands by, the Department of Public Safety at the University of Colorado Springs decided to "help". They published the following list of ways women can protect themselves against rape without using a weapon. I swear to God, this is real:

Be realistic about your ability to protect yourself.

Your instinct may be to scream, go ahead!  It may startle your attacker and give you an opportunity to run away.

Kick off your shoes if you have time and can’t run in them.

Don’t take time to look back; just get away.

If your life is in danger, passive resistance may be your best defense.

Tell your attacker that you have a disease or are menstruating.

Vomiting or urinating may also convince the attacker to leave you alone.

Yelling, hitting or biting may give you a chance to escape, do it!

Understand that some actions on your part might lead to more harm.

Remember, every emergency situation is different.  Only you can decide which action is most appropriate.

If you're now racing to enroll your daughter at the University of Colorado Springs the tuition is $30,809 a year. I'm not opposed to banning concealed weapons on college campuses but, you have to ask yourself, what are you more afraid of; guns on campus or the people running the show?
Po

I Just Don't Get It

Hello My Dear Friends. As I'm sure you know, I'm smarter than the average cat. Yet, there are times when I have to just throw my paws up and say' "I don't get it". For instance, the state of Ohio is investigating "several" instances of voter fraud. In one case an election poll worker freely admits she voted more than once because she wanted to "make damn sure her vote counted". Another man says yes, he voted twice, but he's not sure why. Still another said she voted early then voted again on election day because she "didn't know there was anything wrong with it". Election officials say that poll worker, by the way, may have voted as many as 6 times in the Presidential election. Seriously? None of the aforementioned people believe they did anything wrong. Paws up. I just don't get it.  Next, I am puzzled by the thought process that goes into some TV commercials. Yes, talking babies and animals are always entertaining, but these new Geico commercials have me a bit, well, confused. The one, in particular, is their talking pig and a young woman stuck in a broken down car. The objective is to promote their mobile app. I get that. But, the female character implies to the pig that she'd like to spend their time together getting romantic. Do the powers that be at Geico really think beastiality is good marketing tool? Again, paws up. During the President's State of the Union address, he talked about a 102 year old woman who waited in line for 6 hours to cast her vote. He said people rallied around her, waited with her to encourage her to stick it out. Great story, except I can't figure out why, over a 6 hour period, none of those people thought to let a 102 year old woman skip to the head of the line. Paws up. Republican Marco Rubio got nervous during the Republican rebuttal to the President's SOTU address and reached for a sip of water. It made headlines. Dozens of Twitter accounts were created. Facebook pages appeared. Wow. Really? That was America's take away from all that went on. Rubio drank water. Paws up! Chris Dorner, the LA cop killer, has a fan club. They even held a rally supporting, not what he did, but why he did it. That's all. Paws up. Finally (for now) I do not get all the fuss over that broken down cruise ship. Yes, people were stranded for 5 days in bad conditions. Their vacations were ruined. But let's get a little perspective here. One woman complained that her daughter was "forced to eat cucumber and tomato sandwiches"! The horror. Some people call that High Tea. May had to sleep on the ship's deck under sheets they strung up like tents. The Humanity! Sleeping under the stars on the deck of a luxury cruise ship. they called it a "Shanty Town". Most people call that camping. I guess they're unaware that every day about a billion people call that home, minus the luxury cruise ship. One woman, weeping, said because phone service was out she was unable to "hear her children's voices". It was 5 days. If not talking to your kids for 5 days is so upsetting, maybe you shouldn't have left them behind when you left on your luxury cruise. My point is, yes, it was unpleasant, but get a grip. It was far from the end of the world. Paws up!
Po

I Agree with the President

Hello my Dear Friends. Surprised? LOL. You should be shocked! Obviously, if you know me at all, you know I disagree with 99% of what the President said. More government, more borrowing, more spending. Blah, blah, blah. So, let me clarify the headline. I agree with ONE THING the President said during his State of the Union Address. The President said (I'm paraphrasing here) that his proposals that make up his agenda deserve a vote. He said (again, paraphrasing) if you want to vote "no" that's your prerogative but you need to vote. On this, I agree. Congress needs to do their job and take a stand. I, for one, have had enough of this ridiculous, counterproductive gridlock. Every member of the United State Congress was elected (or appointed) to do the bidding of the people. We've heard all of the rhetoric, we've suffered through the grandstanding, we understand the ideological differences. Enough already! Bring these proposals to the floor, vote on them and move on. Some you will win, some you will lose. The President and Republican Leaders have made it very clear that compromise is not an option. That is unfortunate but it is reality. There will be no meeting in the middle. This Country can not afford another three years of inaction. If the majority of elected leaders believe that bigger government is the answer to a stagnant economy, as wrong as they are, then let them stand up and say so. The Senate has a Democratic majority so Harry Reid can bring any one of these proposals up for a vote, any time he wants to. Do it Harry. Do it now. Republicans hold a majority in the House. John Boehner can bring any one of these proposals to the floor at any time. Do it John. Do it now. The time for debate has passed. Gridlock is destroying this Country. So, as the President said (sort of) The people deserve a vote. He's right. Vote "yes" or vote "no". Vote your conscience, vote your party line, vote the way your mother tells you to. I don't care. Just VOTE on these issues. Make a decision and move on. We the People of these United States deserve leadership. So, in the immortal words of Thomas Paine, "Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way"! Don't make me tell you again!
Po

You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

Hello my Dear Friends. Two topics today. Both will make you scratch your head. First, Storm Nemo. At this time, about 2pm on Friday, February 8th, I don't know how severe Nemo will be. I pray for the safety of all those in it's path, especially those still recovering from hurricane Sandy. I'm glad to see that the folks at The Weather Channel aren't overreacting to the possibilities.

I realize that the purpose of The Weather Channel is to be the leader in weather tracking and reporting but seriously, lighten up. Yes, you want people to understand the severity of the impending storm; to take proper precautions; to be safe. But, with all due respect, the reason many people ignore storm warnings is because those "in the know" over-hype so many weather events that we become skeptical. Please, weather people, just give us the facts as you know them and spare us the hype. We'll take appropriate action. I promise.

Next, let's talk about the classy basketball fans at Duke University. Last night Duke played North Carolina State. NC State guard Tyler Lewis had lost his grandmother the previous Friday and, although grieving, was out on the court representing his team. During the game Tyler was fouled and went to the foul line for his free throws. A charming group of Duke fans began chanting "how's your grandma". Isn't that just the classiest thing you've ever heard.  How proud their school must be. How proud their parents must be. And, most of all, how proud their grandparents must be. What a shameful display of not only bad sportsmanship, but of bad character. One Duke student, who is ashamed of his fellow students' behavior, said four different people approached him during the game to tell him about Tyler's loss and to encourage him to join in the chant. He did not and, on his blog, he identified the section, row and seats of those who were chanting. I'm not condemning the entire student body. It was one group of idiots. But, it only takes a few to disgrace an entire University. Nice job people. Nice job. Here's a link to the video.

http://www.yardbarker.com/all_sports/articles/msn/nc_state_tyler_lewis_grandmother_just_died_so_duke_fans_chant_hows_your_grandma/12867799

Okay Friends. Stay warm and safe this weekend!

Po

Call Me, Maybe

Hello my Dear Friends. I'd like to apologize, in advance, for how angry I'm about to make you. I suspect the majority of "news" coverage today will focus on the Postal Service's announcement that they will discontinue Saturday delivery. Let's face it, unless you're one of the postal workers getting laid off or having your hours cut, you don't care about this. Here's what you wont hear about. The Gubmint has launched a "test program" where they will be supplying smart phones to the "low income and unemployed" to aid them in their search for a job. The program, if successful and fully implemented, will cost about $100 Million dollars A MONTH! Here's a fun fact. The no-bid contract for this program was given to Mexican mobile giant Tracfone, whose CEO happens to be F.J. Pollock, one of the top contributors to both Obama campaigns. Talk about coincidence! Anyway, the "pilot program" is designed to help low income and unemployed Americans learn typing and technical skills, resume writing and to assist in their search for a job. This raises several questions. First, how exactly does one write a resume on a smart phone? Second, why are we paying for job training and computer literacy programs and centers if we want those in need to sit home on their couch playing with their free smart phones? Maybe it's just me. We're asking the "wealthy" to "pay their fair share" so people who don't work can have smart phones? Here's another question that comes to mind. If the Gubmint is paying your rent, heat, electricity, water; buying your food, paying your health care and child care and now supplying your smart phone with internet service, how hard are you looking for a job? And, if you are actually looking, where are you going to find a job that pays enough to cover all of the things you are now getting for free? That's what I thought. By the end of this year, the Gubmint will be borrowing 24 cents of every dollar it spends. That means, if this "pilot program" is fully implemented, we will be borrowing about $24 million dollars A MONTH to pay for it. If you're wondering why I keep putting "pilot program" in quotation marks, it's because about 90% of all "pilot programs" are implemented. I told you I was going to make you angry. At least I hope you're angry.
Po

The Right To Procreate

Hello my dear Friends. A recent court case has caught my attention because it poses a very interesting question. do we, as American citizens, have the right to procreate? A judge in Elyria, Ohio, has sentenced a deadbeat dad to 5 years probation and ordered him not to impregnate any women during that period or until he pays his back child support. Well, he owes over $96,000 in child support, so that option seems unlikely. The judge says that if 35-year old Asim Taylor plants his seed during his probation he will be sent to jail for one year. Taylor's attorney says the 'no new daddy' stipulation violates his clients basic rights to procreate and engage in sexual intercourse. The lawyers says the only way Taylor can "make all reasonable efforts to avoid impregnating a woman is to abstain from sex". And that, says the lawyer, violates his rights. Hummm. Vasectomy comes to mind. Anyway, it begs the question, do we have a legal right to have sex? I don't recall any mention of recreational sex in the constitution. It could, perhaps, fall under the "pursuit of happiness". The judge based his ruling on the fact that Mr. Taylor hasn't taken responsibility for the lives he's already created therefore he should refrain from creating any new lives until he mans up and supports his existing heirs.  Call me crazy, but that seems reasonable to me. There is precedent.  A Wisconsin judge ordered a man who fathered 9 children with 6 different women to keep it in his pants, as it were. No one wants the government in our bedrooms but what if, through your own reckless behavior, you invite the government in? I mean, if you're popping out kids that you can't support, the government, and in turn you and I, end up supporting them. So why then should the government not be allowed to order you to knock it off? Even if you argue that you do have the right to procreate, does anyone have the right to knowingly and purposefully create a burden on the taxpayer? I don't think so. Do you? As I said, it's an interesting question. Where do you draw the line between rights and responsibilities? If Washington has taught us anything it is that you clearly have the right to be irresponsible. But, when your irresponsibility costs me money, aren't you the one violating my rights? After all, my "pursuit of happiness" does not include supporting your illegitimate children. No one seems to have a problem with the spaying and neutering of innocent captives, such as myself. Maybe it's time to take a page from the SPCA's book. I'm not unreasonable. But if you want to run around acting like a feral cat, maybe we should start treating you like one.
Po

Groundhog Day. Seriously?

Hello People. Today is Ground Hogs day. A day humans turn to rodents to tell them when winter will end. Considering the quality of meteorologists these days, it comes as no surprise. It is also the only day of the year that humans use the work prognosticator. There are many "famous" groundhogs, also known as woodchucks, whistle pigs or land beavers. My captor is from Western new York, where they turn to the rodent known as Dunkirk Dave. Today, Dunkirk Dave, like his far more famous cousin Punxsutawney Phil, did not see his shadow, meaning an early spring. Here's a shocker for you. Spring will be here in April. Shadow or no shadow, there will be at least 6 more weeks of winter. 6 weeks from today takes us to March 2nd. No one wants spring to arrive more than a captive kitty. Spring is when the captors open the windows and allow us fresh air and a glimpse of the outside world that we are not allowed to explore. Does anyone think the lilacs will be in bloom by March 2nd? Show of hands...I didn't think so. Anyone out there expect to have their windows open on March 2nd? With that said, a list of the Top 10 Most Accurate Groundhogs was released today and the fine folks of Dunkirk and surrounding areas are a little ticked as Dave only came in at 4th. Here's the list:

1. Punxsutawney Phil (Punxsutawney, Pa.)

2. Staten Island Chuck (Staten Island, and official groundhog meteorologist of New York City)

3. General Beauregard Lee (Lilburn, Ga.)

4. Dunkirk Dave (Dunkirk)

5. Chattanooga Chuck (Chattanooga, Tenn.)

6. Buckeye Chuck (Marion, Ohio)

7. Sir Walter Walley (Raleigh, N.C.)

8. Jimmy the Groundhog (Sun Prairie, Wis.)

9. Malverne Mel (Malverne, N.Y.)

10. Holtsville Hal (Holtsville, N.Y.)

I'll bet the fine folks of Wiarton aren't to happy that their Willie didn't make the list at all! Let's face it. The little woodchucks have a 50/50 shot. Dunkirk Dave's handler claims he is actually more accurate than Phil. Since spring actually comes at the same time every year, who knows. Here's Dunkirk Dave:

Allegedly. And here is Punxsutawney Phil:

Allegedly. Now, here's Michael Emerson, TV actor in Person of Interest:

Hummm. Eerily similar. You be the judge. Is Groundhogs Day really a reality TV show? Okay then. No more talk of these pampered little meteorological rodents. You've all been duped!

Sway

D-bags and Debutantes

Hello My Dear Friends. As you know, I live in Syracuse, NY. It snows here. It snows A LOT! So why, I have to ask, do people around here continue to drive like D-bags and Debutantes? You know who you are. The "Debutante" is too fragile or too busy to brush the snow from their car. This, of course, creates two problems. First, the Debutante cannot see what is behind or beside them. Second, the Debutante creates a moving white out for those unfortunate enough to be driving near them. The D-bag, usually driving an SUV or pick up truck, thinks they can drive like the snow doesn't exist. I, personally, want to punch all of these people in the face. But, since we all know that punching people in the face is wrong, I choose to take a deep breath and simply picture my paw print square in the middle of their forehead. BAM! Imaginary cat slap. I find this helps me cope. So Mr./Ms Debutante, if you are unable or unwilling to brush the snow off your car, either get a garage or get a ride. You're a nuisance and a hazard. We don't need you on the road. As for you Mr./Ms D-bag, speeding, cutting people off and tailgating are ALWAYS wrong. Doing it during a snowstorm is dangerous and stupid. Therefore YOU are a dangerous and stupid person. We don't need you on the planet. This morning, between 7:00 & 8:00, there were 42 accidents in Onondaga County alone. I can guarantee you that one of the two aforementioned D-bags and Debutantes were responsible for more than half of them. It's probably closer to 75%. It's hard enough to drive in winter conditions. We, the careful, courteous drivers of the world, should not have to deal with you. In case you are unaware, you are not the only one who has somewhere to be. You do not have a magical vehicle. You are not immune to ice and snow. You cannot see through the snow on your windows. Therefore, you have chosen to drive blind, fast and out of control. Who does that? YOU do. That makes you a menace. So, on behalf of all the people who do not have a death wish, knock it off. The life you save may be mine!
Po