Where to Begin!

Hello My dear Friends. Do you see what they did to my head? This is the kind of crap I endure daily. Let me begin by apologizing for my lengthy absence. I know how lost this world is without my guidance. Case on point: We learn that, while the White House has cancelled public tours to save money, the First Family spent $100,000 to fly First Dog Bo home early from his Hawaiian vacation so he could partake in a photo op at PetSmart with the President. You can't make this stuff up people. Next, I see a lovely story about a Washington state "mother" who thought it would be funny to videotape her 22-month old baby swapping his bottle for a BONG! Hysterical! She is now in custody. The baby and her 5 year old were taken into protective custody. The "mother", 24-year old Rachelle Braaten, now says it probably wasn't funny. You think? When the police went to the home, by the way, they also found 40 pot plants and an illegal weapon. I, for one, am shocked! Finally, all eyes are on The Vatican, while the Papal Conclave selects a new Pope. I have several thoughts on this. First, I believe the next Pope will be Leonardo Sandri of Argentina. Vegas odds put Sadri at 15-1 so, in the true spirit of the Catholic Church, I dropped a c-note on him. American Timothy Dolan went off at 33-1. The favorite is Italian Angelo Scola at 2-1. Sacrilege? Perhaps but Hey, you never know. It's my understanding that the Cardinals pray for guidance and then vote. I can't help but wonder, if God is guiding their decision, wouldn't they all vote for the same person? I mean, is God telling one Cardinal one thing and telling others something else? Why would he mess with them like that? Let's ponder that for a moment. Finally (today) Mark Kelly, husband of former U. S. Rep Gabby Giffords, was seen purchasing an AR15 assault rifle and a 45 caliber handgun one day before he led the charge at a gun control rally. Kelly, who has always been a gun owner, says it's not hypocrisy. He says he purchased the weapons to gain "first hand knowledge" on how the process worked. He then turned the assault weapon over to Arizona police. Here's the kicker. In Arizona, voluntarily relinquished weapons are considered "assets" and are "liquidated" to help balance the budget. That means that the weapon Kelly bought and ceremoniously turned over to police will, inevitably, end up on the street in someone else's hands. Kelly has a Masters Degree in aeronautical engineering, meaning he is literally a rocket scientist! Just goes to show you, even the smartest people can do pretty stupid things!
Po