Oh Miley, My, My, MY!

Hello My Dear Friends. I guessing that you've heard by now that former Disney star Miley Cyrus put on quite a show at the Video Music Awards the other night. I would have described her as "pop star" Miley Cyrus but she really isn't a star. She's a celebrity. To be a star, one would have to at least ONE number 1 hit. She does not. But, I digress. People are up in arms over her performance on the MTV VMA show. Why? I'm not really sure. Yes, it was a ridiculous, sexually explicit bit of tripe. So what? It's not like she was on Nickelodeon. Parents who complained said their children expected to see "Hannah Montana". Seriously? She hasn't played that character in years. And, dear parents, if you're so concerned about what your kids view, why were they watching MTV at 9:00 PM on a Sunday night? Shame on you. Did I see the live performance? Of course not! Why on earth would I be watching the MTV Video Music Awards? Do they even make music videos anymore? Allow me to offer a little reality check. The purpose of Miley's performance was, number one, to destroy her Disney image. Mission accomplished. The second goal was to promote her new album. Well, "Bangerz" won't even be released until October, but pre-sales on iTunes after the show lifted it to #5 on the pop charts. I'd call that a win. Goal number 3 was to create a buzz about her transformation. LOL, check. So, in the big scheme of things, it was probably the greatest performance of her life. Following in the footsteps of former Disney stars like Brittany Spears and Christina Aguilera, slutty works. The only question now is does she have the musical chops to pull off her new adult image. I doubt it. She really can't sing, but that's for another blog. Another thing that bothers me about this whole"controversy" is that picture of the Smith family all aghast. It went viral even though it was taken while they were watching Lady Gaga, not Miley Cyrus. Leave it to the media not to let the facts get in the way of a good story. So people, let me leave you with this one final thought. There are a lot more important things going on in this world to get enraged over. Next time try turning the channel.
Po

What a real Hero Looks Like

Hello My Dear Friends. If I may be serious for a moment, today the President of the United States awarded this nation's highest military decoration, The Medal of Honor, to Army Staff Sergeant Ty M. Carter. Spc. Carter was involved in the 2009 Battle of Outpost Keating, one of the most intense battle of the Afghan War, where 53 American Troops were surrounded by 300 insurgents. 8 brave Americans died in that battle, 22 others, including Carter, were wounded. The outcome would have been even worse if not for the heroism displayed by Spc. Carter and Spc. Clinton Romesha (who also received the Metal of Honor). Here's a link with details about what happened.
American Heroes
There's more to this story. In addition to his heroism on the battlefield, Spc. Carter, after returning home, went public with his battle with PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is all too real. The Military says about 20% of our military returns from battle with PTSD. I believe that number is much higher. Many families know, my own included, that the loved one who returns from battle is not always the one who left and, in many cases, that's because of PTSD. Nightmares, debilitating anxiety, substance abuse and, in some cases even suicide are the byproducts of PTSD. We don't do enough for our Veterans. That is a fact. By Spc. Carter making public his battle with PTSD perhaps more Veterans will seek help. There is help available. If you know someone who is trying to battle PTSD alone, urge them to get help. The VA offers nearly 200 programs to deal with it. There is no shame in asking for help. Okay. So, to my initial point, athletes, actors, philanthropists are not heroes. They may do exceptional things, but those are not heroic things. What does a real hero look like?

Army Staff Sergeant Ty M. Carter, a true American Hero.
Po

Mandatory Gratuity and Other Oxymorons

Hello My Dear Friends. Once again I sit here utterly confused by what you people do. There is now a growing trend of restaurants adding a "mandatory gratuity" to all checks, not just large parties. Applebee's has been doing that for a long time. I don't eat at Applebee's. "Gratuity" by definition is a "a gift or reward, usually of money, given for services rendered without claim or obligation". Restaurant owners argue that, because servers make a lower wage, tipping is necessary for their livelihood. I argue that tipping is a reward for good service and your worker's livelihood is your responsibility, not mine. I realize that the job of server is a difficult one. Customers can be difficult and many don't tip. I am not one of those people. When I get good service, not great or over the top, simply competent service, I leave a 20% tip. I think that's fair. I've been known to leave as much as a 25% tip for outstanding service. I've also left no tip in response to service that raises my blood pressure. That is my choice. If a server is rude or incompetent, that's their business. If I choose not to reward rude behavior, that's my business. What would motivate a server to go that extra mile if they know they will be rewarded either way? By the way, the courts have generally ruled that "mandatory gratuities" can not be enforced, so you don't actually have to pay them but how many people know that? So, for me, I simply won't patronize any establishment that requires tipping. Okay! So, you may be thinking, what other oxymorons bug you PoKitty? Assistant Supervisor; Live Recording; Actual Reenactment; Government Accountability; Fresh Frozen; and, my favorite, Adult Male. Enjoy what's left of the weekend!
Po

Hello Mr. President!

Hello My Dear Friends. You've probably heard by now that the POTUS is coming to town! I, for one, am honored that, with all that's going on in the world, the President could take time out of his extensive vacation schedule to visit Upstate New York! The Governor will greet the President at the airport in Buffalo but, after that, he apparently has better things to do. Something about getting his daughters ready for college or some other nonsense. Mr. Cuomo is actually skipping Thursday's opening of the Great New York State Fair in Syracuse. The Governor says he wants to avoid a "fracking uproar" with the President in town. Apparently "fracking uproar" is code for 'Dude, you're really unpopular and I still have elections to win'. Hydrofracking opponents and proponents are expected to greet the Presidential Bus Tour with or without the Governor's presence so that excuse seems a little thin. Robert Duffy will open the Fair in the Governor's absence. He's the Lieutenant Governor. Don't feel bad, most people have no idea who Robert Duffy is. Anyway, it's a great honor for a city to host a sitting President. We can figure out how two cash poor cities like Syracuse and Buffalo will pay the estimated $50,000 apiece the visit is going to cost local taxpayers at a later date. The good news is they're picking up the trash along the highway and they've (temporarily) chased away the "Off Ramp Entrepreneurs". We wouldn't want the President of the United States to see what our city actually looks like! Unlike Buffalo, who began handing out tickets at 5pm, Syracuse decided to release tickets at noon. Unfortunately for me, I have a job and wasn't able to stand in line all night to get a ticket to hear the President speak. Fortunately for the President, fewer and fewer people have that problem so there will be a full house in Syracuse. I'm sure we'll learn all we need to know from the stellar news coverage we've come to enjoy here in Syracuse. Just last night, during the lead story on the 11 o'clock news, the reported interviewed a women who was first in line for a ticket. She proudly told the audience that she had "worked for the Obama election campaign in 2008, the re-election campaign in 2012 and was ready to volunteer again in 2016 if the President decided to run again"! The reporter did not respond. It's that kind of intellect that makes this Country what it is today. Welcome to Syracuse Mr. President!
Po

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello My Dear Friends. It's been a tough week here at the prison but it's Friday, so it is time for my weekly thoughts over catnip. Why do potatoes lose their vegetable status when you turn them into french fries or chips? I don't know of any other vegetable that becomes a non-vegetable through the cooking process. I think potatoes are getting screwed. Along that same line, what's the deal with cured ham? What did it have to begin with? Is non-cured ham ill? I don't get it. Did you hear about the rodeo clown who wore an Obama mask at the Missouri State Fair? He was fired and banned for life from the fair. There are calls to deny state funding for the fair in the future and the NAACP wants a federal investigation into the clown who wore the mask! LOL! The Obama Halloween mask has been the #1 seller for years. I'll bet this news has a bunch of people shaking in their boots. Who knew that wearing a mask of the President could be a federal crime? One person at the fair compared a clown wearing an Obama mask to a Klan Rally. Really? At least now we know. Wear a mask of this President and you'll never work again! An 18 year old New Hampshire girl, paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair, has been banned from this year's Paralympics in Montreal because an IPC doctor ruled she wasn't handicapped enough. The doctor suggested that, with years of intensive therapy, she might be able to walk again so she doesn't qualify. The fact that she's been in a wheelchair since age 11 and that she competed in Paralympic Games in London in 2012 are irrelevant. She won 4 medals in those games. Interesting. The people of Egypt declared today "A Day of Rage". I'm not sure what separates today from every other day. They're generally pretty angry over there. I wonder if Hallmark has a card for that. "Today we gather, rocks in hand, a riot we will wage; So grab the kids and hand grenades and join our Day of Rage"! You're welcome Hallmark. The captor got a new "Smart Phone" but all I've seen for the last two days is her tapping on the darn thing and saying "stupid phone". Which is it? Finally, NY State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli has announced that our state will begin producing new drivers licenses by the end of this year. He says, even though they will cost taxpayers millions of dollars more each year, they new licenses will be "harder to alter or make into fake ID". Brilliant! Let's just hope those who would seek out false identification don't think to use a license from any of the other 49 states! Only in New York! Enjoy the weekend!
Po

Sad Day at the Prison

Hello My Dear Friends. It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I inform you that today we said goodbye to our Big, Dumb Dog. Advanced age and hip dysplasia took it's toll on our friend, our sister and fellow captive. She's in Canada now, with all of the other beloved captives who cross that rainbow bridge. So Rest In Peace Anya Fanya Poopalotta. You were the best!

It's Friday! Let's All Get Our Nip On!

Hello My Dear Friends. The weekend has finally arrived! Sometimes, when I'm alone, I have a little catnip and let my mind wander. It helps me unwind. I suspect, one day, my mind will wander away and forget to come back but, so far, that has happened so we're good. Do you ever wonder why we have to choose from just two people for President and 20 for American Idol? Seems odd, right? How important does a person have to be to be considered assassinated instead of just murdered? I remember a time when people just knew that hot coffee could burn them without having to read it on the side of a cup. I miss those days. When I was a kitty, if we wanted to change the television channel, you got up and turned the dial. Today, I watched the captor walk over to the TV, pick up the remote from in front of the set, walk back to her chair and then change the channel. I know, right? How is it that we put a man in space before we figured out that putting wheels on luggage would be a good thing? The government today removed all "non essential" personnel from the embassy in Pakistan. Why do we even have "non essential" personnel? If you're not essential, why are you there in the first place? Why do people pay to go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Sometimes people confuse me. Why are you in a movie but on TV?  If Kim Kardashian fell in the woods and there were no paparazzi there to photograph it, would she just keep on falling until they got there? I think she would. Why do people, when they choose to speak on their pet's behalf, use goofy voices? We don't do that when we mock you. Do you do a different goofy voice for each pet? I know you do. Goober. Ok. I'm done now. Enjoy the weekend!
Po

Here I Go Again!

Hello My Dear Friends! Today I learned a valuable lesson that I felt compelled to share with you. I was listening to U.S. Congressman Keith Ellison speak on the role of Government. Mr. Ellison is a Democrat from Minnesota representing the 5th Congressional District in Minneapolis. The Congressman was discussing the federal deficit and proposed spending cuts. Mr. Ellison said "it's not that there's no money, there's plenty of money, the government just doesn't have it yet". Mr. Ellison went on to say that the government has a "right" to operate programs it establishes and the taxpayer has an "obligation" to supply the funding. You might want to read that again. It sounds to me like the Congressman believes that my (and your) hard earned money doesn't actually belong to me (or you) but is part of a bottomless well that the government can drink from whenever they see fit. Wow! Who knew that? I wonder if he shared this view while on the campaign trail? Since these are the same voters who saw fit to put Al Franken in the Senate and elect Jesse Ventura Governor, I wouldn't be surprised. So, I now humbly ask the residents of Minnesota to either stop voting or secede from the union. It seems that every time you Minnesotans are given the opportunity to select representation you flip out. Are your election booths giant Pin the Tail on the Donkey games? Do they blindfold you and spin you around before they send you into the booth to vote? How can so many people be so wrong so often? Even your sports teams suck! Secession is the only answer. People of Minnesota please become your own Country or merge with Canada. Thank you!
Po

It's Not Global Warming. It's Menopause!

Hello My Dear Friends. There's been a lot of talk about the weather this summer. No one can deny that it's been screwy. We've heard all of the debates for and against "Global Warming" or "Climate Change" but I think the answer is much more simple. I now believe that Mother Nature is going through Menopause! Think about it. Stretches of unbearable heat; Hot Flashes. Violent Storms followed by blue skies; Mood Swings. Snow in the south with heat in the north; Confusion. Heavy, flooding rain; Bloating. The signs are all there! Poor Mother Nature. I feel her pain. All of these crazy weather patterns can be explained. Anxiety, depression, irritability. You'd be hurling some lightening bolts too! So keep driving that SUV. All we need to do is fire some estrogen into the clouds. Maybe a little Merlot too. That can be very helpful at times. Also, it would be to our benefit if you could all stop complaining so much. I'm guessing Mother Nature is a little touchy about her performance lately. No need to add fuel to the fire. Also, she's probably feeling all achy and stressed, not sleeping well, you know what I'm saying. Maybe we can get the Wiccans to throw her an extra "atta girl" when they celebrate Mabon next month. Every little bit helps. The best thing we can do is give her space, let her know we appreciate her and hope for the best.
Po

Are You Serious?

Hello My Dear Friends. Nothing like a little fresh catnip to kickoff the weekend! My friends, in this crazy, mixed up world there is stupid and there's that special kind of stupid that just leaves you shaking your head. It's that special kind of stupid that brings us here today. Let's start with Illinois State Representative Monique Davis who, during an interview on a Detroit radio station, said "many members of her community" believe it is actually the police shooting young black men on the street of Chicago. When questioned how she could make such an outrageous statement without any proof, she said she didn't actually say it, she repeated it. Huh? She went on to say that she didn't think her comments would "draw national attention". Um, you said them on the radio. You know people can hear you when you do that, right? She further defended her comments by saying she didn't actually believe that the police were gunning down young black men but she has a right to publicly "repeat what members of her community tell her". Seriously? Next, the President of the United States took the opportunity, while speaking to workers at an Amazon.com warehouse in Tennessee, to blame Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for basically destroying the moral fabric of America's youth. Yup! He called them out by name, saying their antics on Reality TV have turned an entire generation into fame seekers. Now, even though I agree that Kim and Kanye suck, I'm pretty sure this generation was tainted long before Keeping up with the Kardashians hit the airwaves. I guess all we need to do is cancel that show and this Country will be back on track! Wow, who knew it was that simple. That's why he's the King President. Finally, last night CNN had a "Breaking News Exclusive"! CNN reports there may be a CIA cover up regarding the terrorist attack in Benghazi! It took them 11 months to figure that out? Apparently CNN has learned that CIA operatives with knowledge of the events last September 11th are being polygraphed monthly to make sure they aren't talking to Congress or the media. Really CNN? That's what tipped you off. That whole ridiculous story about the protest over a video gone awry didn't raise any flags? The 12 versions of talking points on the attack didn't pique your interest? No? Well then, I'm glad someone told you about the polygraph tests. That's just reporting at it's finest. Good for you CNN! Finally, the Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper, who was caught on tape hurling the dreaded N-Word racial slur, has been "excused" from all team activities to seek counseling. "Excused", of course, means suspended. It should go without saying that using that word is wrong. It should but it doesn't. Once again, a person has lost their job for using a bad word. So, the last award for that special kind of stupid goes to me. That's right, me. I must be stupid because, once again, I'm confused. San Francisco 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver, Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson, Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison, Johnathan Vilma of the New Orleans Saints and Tank Carder of the Cleveland Browns have all hurled very public Anti-Gay slurs. They were fined but none of them were ever suspended or "excused" from their teams. Why? I guess that's the stupidest question of all. Enjoy the weekend!
Po