Bow Before Me Humans!

Hello My Dear Friends! As you should know, today is National Cat Day. Yes, it's a real thing. Today is the day set aside for you, of the lesser species, to admire, appreciate and lavish love upon God's greatest gift to you, CATS! Let me first say that estimates show as many as 4 million cats per year are dumped in shelters and, of those, as many as 2 million a year are put to death. That is shameful. But, I am not here to preach. Not today, anyway. I'm here today to tell you, once again, how you humans are screwing up your lives, my life and the whole damn world. So, on this day, I offer you 5 ways to start righting the ship...
-> 1  Accept the fact that the vast majority of you don't have the sense that God gave, well, a cat. I admire your efforts to round up these people and put them all in one place. Unfortunately, when you sent them to Washington, you gave them power over you. This was and still is your greatest mistake. You must now send them back from whence they came, remove their power and, if given the chance, leave your paw print on their forehead.
-> 2  You will never be able to please everyone. There are just too damn many of you. So, stop trying. Accept the fact that no matter what you do or say, someone will inevitably be offended. I say own your beliefs. If you offend someone you care about, apologize and make it right. If you offend someone you don't know, assume they're oversensitive and probably shouldn't be listening to you in the first place.
-> 3  Learn to freakin' drive! They have 'rules of the road' for a reason people! Enough said.
-> 4  Stop over-sharing! My Friends, a little mystery is a good thing. If I know what you had for breakfast, what you're wearing today and why, and the fact that you have a rash and I'm not married to you, you've shared too much. We can all assume that you love your spouse, parents, children, grandchildren, cousins, friends, captives, neighbors, blah, blah, blah! You don't have to post it on Facebook and dare me to share it. For those of you who believe we need to know where you are at all times, we don't. So, the next time you're poised to share that picture of your dinner, just say no, people. Just say no.
-> 5   It's time to stop the hate people. It does no good, it changes nothing and it benefits no one, especially you. Haters feed off negativity so don't indulge them. When you hear a hater spouting off, simply say "you are entitled to you opinion, regardless of how misguided it is, but I prefer you don't talk like that around me". Don't debate it, don't try to sway them, just walk away. You'll be surprised at how good you'll feel. So, the next time you hear some goober saying "I hate cats", you know what to do! You're welcome.
Po

I Feel Better Already!

Hello My Dear Friends! I have to tell you, I was really worried about the launch of Obamacare and how it would affect hard working, middle class people like my captor. It turns out I've been worrying about nothing. The President said "If you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan". Well, unless your health plan carrier decides to drop your current plan. Then you'll have to get a different one. Oh, and your current doctor may not be registered with your new plan so you'll have to get a new doctor or switch to whichever plan your doctor is registered with. The President said "80% of Americans will be paying less for better coverage". He also said "The average American will only pay about $100 per month".  He said "Most Americans who do see an increase will qualify for Government subsidies to help pay for that coverage. Sounds great! Who can argue with that? Well, I've just finished reviewing the captor's health care options for 2014. 'Like your plan, keep your plan', Umm, No. Our current plan is no longer being offered. It's been replaced by an "HDHP", that's a "High Deductible Health Plan". There is no choice. The health plan explains that this method puts ME in control of how more of my healthcare dollars are spent. Yes, it does. That's because we're now paying $9000.00 out of pocket before our "coverage" begins! Isn't that great! That means we pay 100% of office visits, prescriptions, urgent care, etc., until our deductible is met. I feel so empowered now. Let's see now, '80% of Americans will pay less for better coverage'. I guess I'm in that sad 20% who's paying more for less coverage. 'Only about $100 a month'. Nope, double that and then some. 'If you see an increase you might qualify for a subsidy'. Nope. We sure don't. So I can shop around and find something better, right? Nope. Because my employer offers coverage, I don't qualify for any of the "benefits" on the Exchange. So, to recap, I have one option for health insurance, my premiums are double what the President said, my out of pockets costs have doubled and I have less coverage. And I was worried! Thank you Mr. President! You've saved the day. How did this Country survive so long without you?
Po

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello My Dear Friends! We've made it through another week. I find that a little Kitty Yoga helps to relax me. I call this position Upward-Facing Cat. Anyway, I heard a radio "newscaster" today, reporting on yesterdays shooting at an Armory outside of Memphis. He said "the gunman shot two victims". Shot two victims? I wonder what they were victims of, prior to being shot. Former NFL QB Brett Favre says he won't be coming out of retirement to rejoin the Rams. Not because he's an old man but because he believes that the concussions he suffered during his career are causing memory loss for him now. Wow. That explains a lot. So when, as a NY Jet, he texted pictures of his junk to a former Playboy model he wasn't being a perverted douchebag. He simply couldn't remember that doing such things was wrong! Favre says, because of the concussions, he can't remember his daughter playing youth soccer one summer. I'm sure that's true. I seriously doubt his well publicized addictions to vicodin and alcohol have nothing to do with his memory loss.  Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, the person ultimately responsible for the disastrous launch of the Obamacare website, said today that "the only people calling for me to be fired are people I don't work for". Really? You don't work for the taxpayers? Who, exactly, do you work for? That could be one of the most arrogant and hubristic things I've ever heard. Finally, my beloved Buffalo Bills are headed to New Orleans to face the 5-1 Saints. The 3-4 Bills are surprisingly only 12 point underdogs. This tells me that there is hope! I believe the 2013 Buffalo Bills are a team of Destiny. I also believe in the Great Pumpkin but that's for another day. Call me a wide-eyed optimist but I think my Bills are going to upset the Saints on Sunday. That could be the catnip talking but, Hey, you never know. Enjoy the weekend. Go Bills!
Po

While You Were Sleeping

Hello My Dear Friends! I apologize for my lengthy absence but I've been busy trying to log on to the Obamacare website. Paws crossed, maybe today will be the day! I jest. There's no chance today will be the day. Anyway, several interesting things have come to my attention while I was "investing in my healthcare future". It was 30 years ago today, that a lunatic in a bomb laden truck drove into the barracks of the 1st Battalion 8th Marines in Beirut, blowing it to bits and killing 241 American Service Members; 220 Marines, 18 Sailors and 3 Soldiers. 58 french Paratroopers were also killed. The man widely believed to be responsible for the planning and execution of that attack is Hossein Dehghen. Who? Hossein Dehghen, now a Brigadier General, is the newly appointed Defense Minister of Iran. Yup. He's the man our Government is now "negotiating with" to strengthening US-Iran ties. Charming, right? Chris Matthews, the wing nut who does Hardball on MSNBC, was doing his nightly trashing of Sen.Ted Cruz when he turned to a video of Cruz and said "we should put some music to this. Do we have any Mexican music"? They all had a great laugh and moved on. Where to begin? I don't know what surprises me more; Matthew's ignorance, his blatant racism or the fact that there were no repercussions. No one seems to care. I think the racism is pretty apparent. The ignorance comes in the fact that Cruz is not Mexican. He was actually born in Canada. His parents are Cuban. But, I guess those people are all the same, right Chris? Imagine, if you will, that Bill O'Reilly held up a picture of the President and asked if there was any African music? Do you think the outcome would have been the same? I suspect not. I realize that Matthews is the same man who proudly declared that every time he hears this President speak "I get a chill up my leg". He's also the one who, on election night said, "I'm glad that storm happened (Super Storm Sandy). Not in terms of hurting people but the storm brought in possibilities for good politics". Millions of people were still without power when he said it. Luck for them, they didn't have to hear it. I don't know why I'd expect anything better out of MSNBC.
Po

Oh, What A World!

Hello My Dear Friends. When did insanity become the norm? Did you hear about the Walmart stores in Louisiana that were overrun and cleaned out by welfare recipients who realized that a computer glitch had left their EBT cards with no limit? Yup. EBT or Electronic Benefit Transfer cards work like debit cards. They're what we replaced food stamps with, so as not to embarrass welfare recipients. Accepting public assistance is apparently embarrassing to those in need but taking advantage of the system is all well and good. So, after a glitch in the EBT system on Saturday left said cards with no limit, hundreds of people flocked to the local Walmart, some filling 8 to 10 grocery carts apiece. Most stores, when they realized the error, stopped accepting EBT cards until the problem was fixed. Not Walmart. Nope. They let people cash out hundreds and hundreds of taxpayer dollar funded transactions. Their food shelves were striped bare. When they announced that the problem had been corrected and the free for all was over, those still in the store simply walked away, leaving their overflowing carts in the aisles for Walmart to deal with. Who will end up footing the bill for this fiasco? That remains to be seen but I'm hoping it's Walmart. It's funny how the Government shutdown will affect Social Security and Veterans benefits but not the federally funded food stamps program. Anyway, a Nebraska high school principal last week cancelled the daily Pledge of Allegiance, citing the Government shutdown. Charming. School officials say they are investigating the "incident". Obamacare enrollment is in it's second week. To date, according to the UK's Daily Mail, 51,000 people have completed the application process. The Congressional Budget Office says 7 million people must buy into the system for it to remain financially stable. At the current pace the actual number of enrollees would be about 1.3 million. A little shy of the goal... One of the reasons for the low response rate could be because the website is a train wreck. That website, by the way, was created by CGI Federal, the US subsidiary of a Canadian company, who was awarded a $400 million dollar no-bid contract. Money well spent if you ask me. Now, I haven't been on the Healthcare.gov website but The Weekly Standard is reporting that a hidden message in the site's disclaimer states "You have no reasonable expectation of privacy regarding any communication or data transiting or stored on this information system."  I don't know about you, but I would think twice before I put my personal information on that site! Finally, have you been wondering where Vice President Joe Biden has been during all of this Shutdown/Debt Ceiling wrangling? Me too. Turns out he's been on vacation! Good for him. Why hang around when everything's closed!
Po

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello My Dear Friends. Well, another Friday has finally arrived. Amidst the chaos in the world today we have made it to the weekend. I don't know about you, but that makes me really happy. Facebook has eliminated the security feature that allows you to hide your profile from people who simply type your name into the search bar. "Thank You, Facebook!", say stalkers everywhere.  A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Isn't depression is really just anger without enthusiasm? The roll out of Obamacare has been plagued by IT problems and system crashes. Who could have seen that coming? Oh, wait....Me. How long do you think it will take someone to hack that website? How can there be Self-Help Groups? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavors and dish soap made with real lemons? Does any registered on ChristianMingle.com really think God is choosing their perfect match? I hope that's one of the questions on their personality profile. If quitters never win and winners never quit, who came up with "Quit while you're ahead"? Do you think it's a coincidence that stressed spelled backward is desserts? Enjoy the weekend!
Po

Stop The Insanity!

Hello My Dear Friends! I have tried to stay out of this on going political fiasco but, I have to tell you, my head is about to explode. Allow me to vent for just a moment. This alleged "Government Shutdown" has gone too far. As you know, as part of this alleged shutdown, all national monuments have been closed. You've heard the stories of Veterans turned away from the monuments erected to honor their service including, but not limited to American Veterans attempting to visit the American Cemetery and Memorial in Normandy, France. I mention this because today the White House decided to open the National Mall so illegal immigrants and their supporters could rally against our U.S. policy on immigration. Excuse me? Are you freaking kidding me? While this is going on, we learn that the families of at least four U.S Military members killed in Afghanistan over the weekend, were denied their death benefit, usually paid within 36 hours of death, because of the "shutdown". They were also told that the military would not be transporting them to Dover Air Force Base to view the return of their loved ones to U.S. soil. This is the most disgraceful thing I have EVER heard. Ever. If you want to complain about not getting benefits you didn't earn and don't deserve, our Government is open to you. If you give you life, YOUR LIFE, in service to this Nation, the Government is CLOSED. Mr. President and members of Congress, how do you sleep at night. Shame on you. Shame on you all.
Po

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello My Dear Friends. TGFP! (Thank God For PoKitty). So, the launch of Obamacare was plagued by computer "glitches". Who could have seen that coming? Oh, that's right...  So, the government remains on "shutdown" and many furloughed employees are crying poverty. Really? During yesterday's reporting on the tragic shooting in DC, every reporter that I saw ended their report with "and these officers are not being paid today". Well, I didn't get paid yesterday either. I get paid twice per month. Do these government workers get paid every day? They're going to get their money when the "shutdown" is over. You should probably hold your bitching until you actually miss a paycheck. I realize this is a bad situation but, seriously people, take a breath. The Buffalo Bills make me sad. I never thought I'd see the day when I actually wanted to slap a camel but that day is here. I almost dread Wednesdays now. Thank you Geico. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? The Governor was here in Syracuse yesterday. In advance of his visit the city went into ultra clean up mode, clearing debris and chasing the Off-Ramp Entrepreneurs away from the highways for the day. Did you ever think that, if you let the Governor see what the city is actually like, he might give us more money? Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Why is the Department of the Interior in charge of all things outdoors? Everyone who believes in telekinesis raise my hand. Enjoy the weekend!
Po

OK, Now I'm Annoyed!

Hello My Dear Friends. I have to tell you, sometimes I find you people completely exhausting! Where to begin? Government Shutdown. 14.6 million people work for the federal government, in one form or another. 800,000 civilian workers have been furloughed. What was all over the news yesterday? The shutting down of the "panda-cam" and the closing of the National Parks and Monuments. My life will go on. The Panda-Cam has since been turned back on. How many government workers does it take to monitor a stationary camera? My point is, this is nothing more than political theater. Will some people affected? Of course. 800,000 people are temporarily out of work. That sucks. Millions of other Americans are, and have been, out of work. Nothing temporary about it. That sucks more. Yesterday the U.S. DOT tweeted out that they would not be tweeting during the government shutdown. Seriously? NASA shut down it's website. Why? Did you know that 6400 people work at the Smithsonian? Neither did I. Seems excessive. The Washington Post reported that bars around the capitol were packed. Restaurants and bars are offering discounts to furloughed workers. Obviously, if this drags on for a week or more, it will become a more serious issue. More people will be affected. More offices will close; more services disrupted. Right now, as all of the pundits lay blame for this debacle, I can't help but marvel over the juvenile behavior on all sides. What is up with all of the name calling? The President of the United States referring to members of the Tea Party as "Teabaggers". Really, Mr. President? What kind of example are you setting? You're the leader of the free world. Grow the hell up. It's not just the President, although that is the most glaring. Republicans and Democrats alike are hurling terms like "Economic Terrorists" or "lemmings" or "Sociopaths". These are all terms that elected officials have used to describe their opposition over the last few days. Is it any wonder we're in the mess we're in? It's time for BOTH SIDES to cut the crap. Fund the government. Raise the debt ceiling and get on with the business of your backdoor deals, political payoffs and general debauchary. You know, business as usual.
Po