Olympic Update!

Hello my dear friends. Well, the games of the XXX Olympiad are in full swing and the laugh factor just keeps getting better! First, and my favorite so far, was the Ecuadorian weight lifter who, shall we say 'had an accident', on stage. Yup. She peed. right on stage. I'm still laughing about that one! Didn't see it? Here's a leak, I mean a link. Lift and Leak

Then there was the 16-year old Chinese swimmer who, in winning the gold, swam faster than the men. That's not the funny part. The funny part is, after it was over, she was accused of 'doping' because no woman could possibly swim that fast. After her drug screen came up clean it was concluded that the Chinese must be genetically altering their athletes to win. That is certainly the logical conclusion! LOL! Let's see them test for that!

There was a gate crasher at the opening ceremonies who not only got onto the floor, she actually marched with the Indian team in the parade of nations! Olympic organizers say not to worry. They say she must have gone through security screening at some point...Oh those crazy Brits.

Swiss soccer player Michael Morganella, after his country lost to South Korea 2-1, Tweeted "I want to beat up all South Koreans. Bunch of mentally handicapped retards". Ouch. He has been expelled from the Olymipics and his Twitter account has been closed. Why didn't he just kick a chair like everyone else?

Finally, as NBC continues to manipulate it's Olympic coverage to maximize ad revenues, they burned themselves. Last night, after touting Missy Franklin's much anticipated 100m backstroke race for gold all night long, NBC ran a promo congratulating her on the win 5 minutes BEFORE they aired the race! Classic!
I just can't get enough of this stuff. It's a shame we can't do this every year!
Po

Here Come the Olympics. USA! USA!

Hello my dear friends. Tomorrow we will experience the Opening Ceremonies of the Games of the XXX Olympiad! (That's 30th for those of you who are no longer taught Roman numerals). For the next 17 days Americans across the nation band together and pretend we know or care about things like wrestling, fencing and synchronised swimming. Other notable "sports" competitions will include Table Tennis (Ping Pong), Badminton and Trampoline.  These, of course, are not sports. They are what people, who are not coordinated enough to compete in real sports, play. That, I suppose, is why the call them the Olympic Games. Let's face it, for most Americans the Summer Games consist of Basketball, Track & Field and Gymnastics. Yes, Michael Phelps did increase our interest in swimming. Did you know that 950 athletes will be competing in 34 different swimming events? Do you care? My point, exactly. My biggest beef with the Olympics is, because they are being held overseas, the events will be long over before we see them and, because of the internet, we will already know the outcome before it airs. Makes for some pretty boring television if you ask me. Yes, we will see the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. We will also see the Djibouti Table Tennis Team and the Burkina Faso Swim Team. Riveting. Other questionable "sports" include  Canoeing, Equestrian and the "Modern Pentathlon" which includes, running, swimming, shooting and fencing. Making the winner an all around nerd. We will also stare, transfixed, at the yawn inducing Football (Soccer), Water Polo, and Beach Volleyball. Followed by, but not out shined by, Cycling, Rowing and Sailing. Wow! It's going to be an adrenaline pumping couple of weeks! I can't wait for the excited banter over the much anticipated duel between Korea and Mexico for the Taekwondo Gold! Just the thought of it leaves me all atingle! USA! USA! USA!
Po

Why, That's Absurd!

Hello my dear friends. While our attention has been turned toward the tragedy in Colorado and what price Penn State will pay for their egregious lapse in humanity, two other stories quietly passed by. While the tragedies in Colorado and Penn State certainly deserve our attention and outrage, the following two stories, I believe, underscore why we can no longer trust the justice system to deliver actual justice. The first injustice is happening in Kentucky where a 17-year old sexual assault victim could face contempt of court charges for  Tweeting the names of her attackers. It seems the victim was upset that her attackers entered into a plea deal (without her knowledge) that would keep their names confidential.In a decent world, the victim would have been consulted before any deal was struck but, it was Kentucky. Now, the two attackers were juveniles so the court ordered that their names not be released. Even though these two juvenile attackers photographed their assault on the unconscious victim and then passed the pictures around to their friends. Charming, right. The rapists have not yet been sentenced but, considering the "quiet" plea deal, I doubt they'll be properly punished. In turn, the VICTIM faces 180 days in jail. In Lincoln, Nebraska, a lesbian woman was attacked in her home by three masked men who kicked in the door, stripped her, tied her hands behind her back and carved the words "dyke" and "fag" (along with some others words to vulgar to print) on her face, arms and stomach with a knife. They then spray painted similar words and threats on the walls and attempted to set her house on fire. Initially, Lincoln's Finest said there was no proof that the attack was a hate crime. After 500 people showed up at a vigil for the victim (who is recovering) they "reviewed" the evidence and labeled it a hate crime this morning. Brilliant detective work! I'd like to say that these are isolated incidents but, I think we all know they are not. Joe Paterno, who of course is dead now, will no longer be the winningest coach in  Division I football. At least not in the record books. Ouch. The Penn State football program will be severely damaged for years to come and the school will cough up $60 million dollars. Justice? I guess that depends on who you talk to. I doubt the victims are satisfied. We'll have to wait to see if justice is served in Colorado. We can only pray it will be.
Po

Prayers for Aurora, Colorado

Hello my dear friends. What a sad and tragic day in America. 12 dead, dozens injured by one sick mind. The 24-year old shooter, (I don't think we should use his name as attention is what he was seeking), was clearly disturbed. When police arrived at his parents home in San Diego, the first thing his mother said was "you've got the right man". Did she know? After a horrific event like this, the first question we ask is did somebody know. Could this have been prevented. The planning of this assault took months. His apartment was elaborately booby trapped. All of the guns used were legally purchased. Were there red flags. These are questions that will be answered over time. The killer has retained a lawyer and is not speaking to police. His plan had more phases than were carried out. There were explosives in his car and the aforementioned booby trapped apartment. He told police about those. Why? Had he gotten his fill of carnage? We'll never fully understand the workings of a deranged mind. What turns a "quiet grad student" into a terrorist? Is mental illness a factor? He is of the age where schizophrenia generally manifests. Knowing the "why" wont change the "what" but it will offer some closure. In the meantime, this tragedy will live on in the hearts and minds of us all but especially in those who lived through it. They will never be the same. It breaks my heart to think of what they'll go through in the coming months and years. Will they ever feel safe again? Let's all take a moment today to think about the families, friends and neighbors of those who's lives were changed forever yesterday through no fault of their own. Let's also vow to not let the actions of one deranged man change the way we live our lives. That is the goal of terrorism after all. Let's also not spend our time looking for someone else to blame. There is only one person to blame and he is locked away. Let's also take a minute to reflect on the average men and women who acted bravely and heroically is the face of chaos and terror. So many people helping strangers escape and survive. That is the true American spirit and no one, through any act of terrorism, can ever change that.

Po

Bath Salts; There not just for relaxing anymore!

Hello my dear friends. What the hell id going on with these "Bath Salts"?  People are going absolutely nuts! Yesterday, a 31-year old man high on this stuff, held a knife to a 5-year old's throat! Luckily, the child's uncle saw what was happening and kicked the druggie's ass. The 5-year old was fine but this is becoming an all too familiar story. First, let's be clear, "bath salts" are not what your mother used to throw in the tub. It's a synthetic mixture of chemicals that produce a "euphoric" high. The reason that they are so hard to ban or control is that the formula keeps changing, keeping the manufacturers one step ahead of law enforcement. It's crazy! The number one way users keep up with the "latest in salts" is on the internet. It's literally this simple...
http://bathsaltsdrug.com/
Frightening, isn't it? Meanwhile, people on this stuff are choking their dogs, biting people's faces off, attacking children, the police and, in some cases, anything that moves. I guess I don't get it. I mean, I like a good catnip buzz but why would you want to take anything that makes you want to rip off your clothes and eat someone's face? I don't get the attraction. Are these people sitting around, bored, and wondering "what can I take that will me an out of control cannibal for a few hours"? Is your life really that bad? And, if it is, could it be because you're an idiot? I mean, if you're willing to swallow an unknown compound that may very well kill you, you can't be that bright. Maybe your time and money would be better spent at BOCES than at the Headshop. It's just a thought. In the meantime, parents, be vigilant in monitoring your kids internet use. A quick click on the history button a few times a week can be very enlightening. Also, it wouldn't hurt if you made this page required summer reading. I'm just saying. And, for the rest of you, if you come across a naked lunatic in your neighborhood, get your face the heck out of there!
Po

Don't Make Me Run For President!

Hello my dear friends. I'm getting quite fed up with all of this nonsense. You know how much I detest politics! Why must the utter incompetence of the media continually draw me into this position? Why are we not discussing how the Prez quietly, without any input from Congress, ripped a hole in the Welfare Reform Act? I'll tell you why. Because NO ONE is reporting it!!! Last Thursday, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius sent out a policy memo to the States saying they may seek a waiver to the work requirements in TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families) Program in order to "explore alternative solutions". Call me crazy, but what alternative to getting people off welfare would be more successful than requiring that they look for work? According to the directive, TANF recipients could better spend their time in educational or job readiness programs than actually looking for work. Huh? So you're saying that, instead of looking for work, it would be better if they spent their time preparing for a job they'll never find. Maybe I'm wrong but I think it's going to be awfully hard to find a job you're not actually looking for! It's madness people. Shear Madness! And, again it could be just me, what would be your motivation to find work? Let's see..rent-paid for; food-taken care of; health care, spending money, cell phone, WiFi, all paid for, rides provided; child care provided; stigma erased. Yes! I think I'll scrap all that and go flip burgers at McDonalds. Brilliant! I believe the Prez has finally figure out how to solve this nations welfare burden. Make it a way of life. Why didn't I think of that! Why force people to look for work? All of that stress and such can really ruin a good morning buzz. Let's just say, as long as you're happy, we're happy. Problem solved.
Po
Here's a link if you're not already upset enough.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/07/13/republicans-accuse-hhs-gutting-welfare-reform-with-quiet-policy-change/

You Named Your Baby What?

Hello my dear friends.  It seems like every week or two I come across another glaring example of bad parenting that I feel must be addressed. Today, Nameberry.com, the number one baby name trending site, released a list of the hottest names in the first half of 2012. Some of the most researched names this year include Decimus, Halcyon, Django and Zebulon. People, people, people. I know you want to give your child a "uniqueness" and "individuality" but naming them after cult movie characters or Star Trek destinations is NOT the way to go. We're all familiar with celebrities who label their kids with things like Dandelion (Keith Richards), Tabooger (Dan Cortese), or Blanket (Michael Jackson). There is a reason for this. These people are narcissistic wing nuts. There are also the food lovers like Apple, Thyme or Sage. Celebrities can get away with this because their children will never have to navigate their way through a public middle school. Think about poor little Zebulon who will probably spend most of his time screaming for someone to let him out of his locker. Then imagine his surprise and confusion when he realizes that he's the only one racing home after school to be breast fed! This really needs to stop. What happens when little Halcyon learns to read and realizes that mom and dad named her after a sleeping pill? Or that Django was a cartoon character? Doesn't really inspire the self confidence you would imagine, does it? You can be unique without being ridiculous. Here's a couple of tips for you. If you have to explain it, don't use it. Picture your child introducing themselves at age 13. Are they looking at the ground and turning red? Are they following their name with "but please call me...". Rethink your choice. Finally, if you have to tell everyone who meets your child how to pronounce their name, you've probably made the wrong choice. I'm not saying that every child should be named John or Marie, but Zebulon? Serioulsy?
Po

Team USA Uniforms; Are You Kidding Me?

Hello my dear friends. The Olympic Games are nearly upon us and already controversy is flying. Not over bias judges (that will come during the gymnastics competition), not about the age or professional status of some of the athletes, not even about possible security threats. No, my friends, this controversy is much more important. This controversy is about the "uniforms" Team USA will be wearing during the opening ceremony! It's a valid concern. Seriously! You see, the Team USA uniforms (aside from the unmistakable gayness of it all) were manufactured, from head to toe, in CHINA! So, to show their support for the team that represents the Country that we love, the US Olympic Committee decided to dress them in foreign made clothing. Brilliant! At least the athletes themselves were made in America, even if their clothing was not.  What shows more support for America, especially in these times of economic distress, then a hardy "screw you" to American manufacturers and laborers? Nice job Olympic Committee! My hat, I mean beret, is off to you! Now, on the other half of the controversy (the one about our athletes looking like British Equestrians) I'm actually in favor of that. Yes, I called the uniforms "gay" but I mean that in the nicest way. Why dress the like athletes when you can disguise them as castoffs from the Village People? This gives us a distinct advantage. Stay with me here. You remember the kid with the blazer when you were in school? If you went to public school then you'll remember he/she was never, shall we say, the first picked for dodge ball.  This will lull other nations into thinking that we accidentally sent the math team to compete. We'll take them completely by surprise! It's inspired. Ingenious! And, when the competition is over, we give them a few instruments and BAM, instant marching band! I tell you, this whole thing would be perfect if it weren't for that whole made in China thing. I wonder how many union workers will be donating to the Olympic Team next year.
Po

Parenting 101

Hello my dear friends. We all know that parenting is a very difficult job. They used to say that "babies don't come with instruction manuals". But, now apparently they do! Everyone has an opinion on the best way to raise a child and Women's Day Magazine has come up with the top 10 things you should never say to your child. It's a helpful and insightful guide to raising (in my humble opinion) a brat. Let's examine...
#1 "I know you can try harder".  According to WD this seems that you're not satisfied with your child's effort and can be discouraging to the child. Umm, yes, but if your not satisfied with your child's effort what should you say? So you failed, oh well.
#2  "Are you sure you need that second cupcake"?  WD says that kind of talk fosters a negative body image. Okay. How's this for an alternative. NO!
#3  "You always..." or "You never...". WD says these statements are labels and can stick for life. I'll give them that one.
#4  "Because I said so".  WD says this statement puts all of the control in your hands and dismisses the child's growing sense of autonomy. My mother must have been the worst parent in the world. Putting all of the control in the parents hands. Outrageous! Apparently it's much better to let the child make the call.
#5 "I told you so". WD says this tells the child that you're always right and, by contrast, they're always wrong. Well, if it walks like a duck...
#6  "You're the best at...". This makes the child afraid to try new things for fear of failure. Really? So apparently you should say "You got straight A's again! You are so average"!
#7  "Don't worry".  WD says this dismisses your child's feelings. Good call. It would be much better to validate your child's concern's by saying "you're right, no one is going to like you".
#8  "I wish you wouldn't hang around with that kid". WD says this makes the child want to see that person even more. I agree. So how about saying "You're not allowed to hang around with that kid and, if you do, you're grounded". That's what my mom did. Seemed to work pretty well.
#9  "That's not how you do it. Here, let me".  WD says this prevents the child from learning. Again, I agree. 'Let me show you how' is a much better choice because, not only does the child learn but you don't have to do the chore yourself.
#10 "Why can't you be more like your brother/sister". This creates resentment according to WD. It may but it also creates positive role models.
So, to recap, if you want to raise a confident, happy child, you should NEVER encourage them to work harder, let them eat whatever they want, never criticize or praise them, never take control, never soothe their fears, pick their friends, do their chores or compare them to their siblings. Is it just me? This doesn't sound like a good plan but, what do I know, I'm just a cat and Women's Day is, well, it's a magazine.
Po

Celebrate Our Independence!

Hello my dear Friends and Happy Independence Day! Erma Bombeck (remember her?) said something like 'it's says a lot about our nation that we celebrate our independence not with a parade of guns, tanks and soldiers but with family picnics'. I agree. We celebrate our nations independence by doing things with family and friends. We barbecue, we watch fireworks, we celebrate our freedom. It's pretty cool. Remember, our forefathers and foremothers left England and came to America to be free of things like of religious persecution. Could you imagine living in a land where, for instance, if you were a Christian who didn't believe in, say, birth control, the Gubmint could tell you that you have to pay for it anyway? NEVER. They (the original 13 colonies) declared their independence from British rule because they were being taxed to death yet had no say in how those taxes were being spent! Taxation without representation. Good God! Who could live like that? Wait a minute......
Anyway, Happy Independence Day my Friends! Fly your Flags high. And, in closing (come on, you had to see this coming) in the words of the Great Ronald Reagan "The ultimate determinant in the struggle now going on for the world will not be bombs and rockets but a test of wills and ideas-a trial of spiritual resolve: the values we hold, the beliefs we cherish and the ideals to which we are dedicated".
Po

Say What? Is it Just Me?

Hello my dear friends. Let me start off by saying Rest In Peace Andy Griffith. Who doesn't long for the days of Mayberry every now and then?  Anyway, the CBC in Canada reported a recall of hand sanitizer. Apparently it has bacteria in it. Think about that for a moment. Shouldn't bacteria die in hand sanitizer? If not, what exactly is the point of this product? Don't worry. None of it was shipped here. Next, CNN anchor Anderson Cooper has "come out" and admitted that he's gay. I'm shocked. After that giggling fit that went viral on YouTube was there still some doubt?  Casey Anthony (yes, the one who got away with killing her daughter) wants her own reality TV show. Umm, you already had one. It was called Your Trial! I think we've had quite enough of you. Under that same category, the "Octomom" made a "self pleasure" video. That has to be the worlds biggest oxymoron. Or, if anyone actually buys it, they can simply be the world's biggest moron. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced. Duh! The surprising tidbit to come out of this "story" is that before Katie took the bait, Scientologists tried to rope Sophia Vergara first! Who would have thought she would have been the smart one? It's also been reported that Scarlett Johansson was approached as a possible "mate" for Mr. Cruise. Charming, really.  Money Talks News published a list of 20 things you should never buy used. On the list was bathing suits. Seriously? People have to be told not to buy a used bathing suit? Mattress also made the list. Yup. Bad idea. Finally (for now), a video made by Rep. Loretta Sanchez (D-Calif) is going viral. It is Sanchez and some interns in a little song a dance ditty set to Carly Rea Jepson's "Call Me Maybe".  And I thought Congress was just sitting around wasting time. I stand corrected! Call Me Crazy.
Po

Give Hate a Chance!

Hello my dear friends. As you know, the people of Egypt have "democratically" elected the Muslim Brotherhood's Mohamed Mursi or Morsi (depending on which media outlet you follow). What is it with Arab leaders and the spelling of their names? Anyway, Egypt is the most populous country in the Arab world and the Muslim Brotherhood lives by Sharia Law. Now, normally, knowing these facts, I would be very concerned by this turn of events. But, apparently, I don't need to be. First of all, the Egyptian military of SCAF is still refusing to turn over power to the Brotherhood and because of that Egypt currently has no working Parliament. But, more importantly, Mursi/Morsi says we have nothing to worry about. He says he has "resigned from the Freedom and Justice Party" (Muslim Brotherhood) that got him elected and will fulfill the "will of his people". Whew! That's a relief. There are even those in our own Gubmint that say we should take Mursi/Morsi at his word and wait and see what happens. It's that kind of cockeyed optimism that makes me wonder how you people have survived as long as you have. If we do take Mursi/Morsi at his word, which "word" do we take? Do we take the post-election word quoted above or do we take the "word he delivered at Cairo University (5/11/12) prior to his election where he said "The Koran is our constitution, The Prophet is our leader, Jihad is our path and death in the name of Allah is our goal".  Gee, I hope it's the post-election Mursi/Morsi because, and I'm guessing here, that Jihad that he so proudly spoke of prior to his election would probably be aimed at us. That would be bad. We don't really have a good working relationship with the Muslim Brotherhood. They don't care for us. But, our President and the Egyptian President spoke and affirmed their commitment to a US-Egypt partnership and promised to keep in touch. That's a relief. I'm sure the women and Christians in Egypt are relieved as well. So, my friends, let's give the Brotherhood the benefit of the doubt and wait and see what happens! I'm sure it will all be fine.
Po