Team USA Uniforms; Are You Kidding Me?

Hello my dear friends. The Olympic Games are nearly upon us and already controversy is flying. Not over bias judges (that will come during the gymnastics competition), not about the age or professional status of some of the athletes, not even about possible security threats. No, my friends, this controversy is much more important. This controversy is about the "uniforms" Team USA will be wearing during the opening ceremony! It's a valid concern. Seriously! You see, the Team USA uniforms (aside from the unmistakable gayness of it all) were manufactured, from head to toe, in CHINA! So, to show their support for the team that represents the Country that we love, the US Olympic Committee decided to dress them in foreign made clothing. Brilliant! At least the athletes themselves were made in America, even if their clothing was not.  What shows more support for America, especially in these times of economic distress, then a hardy "screw you" to American manufacturers and laborers? Nice job Olympic Committee! My hat, I mean beret, is off to you! Now, on the other half of the controversy (the one about our athletes looking like British Equestrians) I'm actually in favor of that. Yes, I called the uniforms "gay" but I mean that in the nicest way. Why dress the like athletes when you can disguise them as castoffs from the Village People? This gives us a distinct advantage. Stay with me here. You remember the kid with the blazer when you were in school? If you went to public school then you'll remember he/she was never, shall we say, the first picked for dodge ball.  This will lull other nations into thinking that we accidentally sent the math team to compete. We'll take them completely by surprise! It's inspired. Ingenious! And, when the competition is over, we give them a few instruments and BAM, instant marching band! I tell you, this whole thing would be perfect if it weren't for that whole made in China thing. I wonder how many union workers will be donating to the Olympic Team next year.
Po