National "Are You Serious" Day

Hello my dear friends. Today is National Straw Hat Day and I am not happy about it! In your endless quest to ensure that every moron with a cause has their own special day you, dear humans, have created a monster! Beside National Straw Hat Day, today is also National Chicken Dance Day, National Nylon Stockings Day. If you were too busy yesterday observing Mother's Day you missed National Frog Jumping Day. I'm just saying! If you're desperate for a reason to celebrate (as if captors need a reason to party) Here are a few dates you should probably write down. January 2nd. National OMG I Don't Want to Go To Work Day. February 29th. National It's My Birthday Day. Since you are only able to celebrate it once every four years it is very important to remember. NOTE: I will accept gift yearly on February 28th. March 15th. National I Hate This Freakin Snow Day. April 14th. National When Did They Start Taxing That Day. May 23rd. National I Can't Wait For The Long Weekend Day. June 28th. National It's Almost the 4th of July Day. July 14th. National The Captor's Are Having Their Clambake Day (I hate that day!). August 5th. National I Can't Take This Humidity Day. September 3rd. National Hooray, Summer's Over Day (generally observed by parents of young children). October 29th is National Cat Day (I'm not making that one up). November 3rd. National When The Hell Is Election Day Day. December 23rd. National Why Didn't I Buy That When It Was On Sale Day. So there you have it people. I've given you a party a month. If you still find yourself at a loss for something to do, celebrate National Goober's Day. That apparently runs 365 days a year! Enjoy!
Po