The Week in Review

Hello my dear friends. It has been an interesting week indeed. First, I'm happy to say that they've caught the Swan-Egg smashing, drunken moron we spoke of this week. He is a 23-year old Goober from Jamesville. How proud his family must be. Former Vice Presidential Candidate John Edwards is on trail facing charges he violated campaign laws to cover up an affair. Edwards cheated on his dying wife and fathered a child with his mistress. He is a scumbag. There is no question about that. If convicted on all charges he faces up to 30 years in prison. 54-year old Thomas Baker, a registered sex offender, admitted to luring a 9-year old girl into his home to molest her. He had two previous sexual assault cases involving children. He pleaded guilty to a single count and faces 15-years in prison. That sounds right. Justice really is blind and, apparently stupid. President Obama has been touring college campuses. He appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and did the "slow jamming the news". He did an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine and will appear on the cover. Thank goodness none of this messy economic stuff is interfering with his belated spring break. Vice President Joe Biden was giving a speech at NYU quoted Roosevelt and said "speak softly and carry a big stick, and, I promise you the president has a big stick". I guess that old wives tale is true but how would Biden know? Egyptian lawmakers are reportedly considering the "farewell intercourse law" which would allow husbands in Egypt to have sex with their wives for up to 6 hours after their death. Charming. During a New York Yankees game against the Texas Rangers in Texas, a man jumped in front of a little boy to grab a ball that was tossed into the stands. The ball was being tossed to the little boy and, when the adult jumped his play and grabbed the ball, the boy began to cry. The whole thing was caught on camera and the Yankee announcer, Michael Kay (my personal hero) proceeded to rag on the ball snatcher and his girlfriend for their behavior. They posed for pictures with the ball and started making out, all while the distraught child was sitting next to them bawling. Now, the couple, who claim they were unaware of what was happening, want Michael Kay to apologize to them! Let me take this one for you Michael. "to the couple who was embarrassed by Michael Kay, we all sorry your douchbaggery was caught on camera". Maybe next time you'll act like the adults you purport to be. Enjoy the weekend!
Po