Every time I Think I'm Out...

Oh People, every time I thing I'm out of the game, you keep dragging me back in! I've tried to retire, to step back and let the world turn, but seriously people, you're all nuts! First, please stop whining about your Starbucks cup! Starbucks doesn't "hate Jesus". Starbucks loves money. If they thought putting a Nativity Scene on their cups would sell more coffee there'd be a manger on every cup. If you can't enjoy your overpriced latte with a Douglas Fir on the cup, draw one on yourself! Seriously, get your freakin' priorities in order and simmer down.
The President of the University of Missouri system has resigned amid criticism over his handling of student complaints about racism and discrimination. Actually, he resigned because the football team refused to play and that would have cost the University about a million bucks. Chancellor L. Bowen Loftin will also be leaving. Problem solved, right? LOL!
A college group recently advertised their upcoming "Hawaiian Night" party. They say it was to "bring a little warmth to their cold climate". What it brought was a firestorm of controversy. Why? Because it's culturally insensitive, that's why. You see, in today's realm of higher education "Appropriating another culture for an event, costume or poster is disrespectful" and, therefore discriminatory. Even the wearing of a Hawaiian shirt, if one is not Polynesian, is now considered "casual racism".  "Cultural Appropriation" is, by definition, "The use of oversimplified, packaged versions of the culture of oppressed groups". I've been to Hawaii. They didn't seem oppressed to me but, hey, what do I know. I am curious as to why they sell Hawaiian shirts to tourists in Hawaii if they're so upset when we wear them. A conundrum, wouldn't you say? It's not limited to Polynesians. According to the list I saw, provided by the University of Washington, "oppressed groups" seems to cover just about everyone. Wearing, ponchos, sombreros and fake mustaches insults Mexicans. I get the sombreros but I wasn't aware that mustaches were culturally Mexican. The directive went on to say that men who dress in drag are offensive "unless they mean it". Yup. I'm not even going to touch that one. We should probably cancel St. Patrick's Day right now! Oh, that's right, the Irish are too drunk to be offended on St. Patrick's Day. See what I did there? Watch me bring it all home now. The groups that are now calling for a strict adherence to "cultural appropriation" are the same groups that insist that religion be taken out of Christmas. Apparently Christians have never been oppressed so appropriating one of their most sacred holidays is fair game. Funny how that works. So, let me end where I began. Simmer down people, simmer down.
Po

If You Don't Get It By Now...

Hello My Dear Friends! I'm sure you've heard the old adage, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink". Well, in today's climate, leading a horse to water would probably get you arrested for animal endangerment. Anyway, tomorrow CNN will host the next Republican Presidential Candidate Debate. Political pundits are all abuzz over what the "other" candidates need to do to beat Trump. The truth is, this cadre of candidates can't "beat" Trump because they're too busy beating themselves. They just don't get it. A little background. Don't worry, I'll be brief. Back in the mid-1990s, the Republican Party was hijacked by right-wing Conservatives and their "contract with America". Because they were so vocal, people began to believe that they actually represented all Republicans. They do not. They never did. So, when pundits try to figure out why their presumed front runners are tanking, they're looking at the race through a blurred lens. Before the race began, pundits tagged Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz and Scott Walker as the presumed front runners. Here's the problem. Each one of the presumed leaders continue to use phrases like, "get back to our conservative roots" and "winning back the White House". Here's a news flash. The average Republican doesn't want to go backward. They want to go forward with a plan and a vision. The average Republican, and the average Democrat, are sick and tired of the 'Rep vs Dem/Us vs Them' mentality that's lead us here. Candidate Mike Huckabee stood beside a woman and praised her for obeying God's law over Man's law. I, for one, find that terrifying. If I want a leader who favors God's law, I'll move to Iraq. How do I know that I am right and the pundits are wrong? Just look at the numbers. There isn't a "professional politician" or "real conservative" with more than 8% support. A recent poll of registered Republican showed that 58% thought the party was on the wrong track. Trump with 33%, Carson with 20%, Fiorina 2%. That's pretty close to even. When Jeb Bush declared that Trump wasn't 'a real Conservative' but he was, Bush's numbers went down and Trump's went up. If you don't get it by now, you never will.
One final thought. Mediocre actor and producer Matt Damon is getting blasted on social media because of comments he made on his Project Greenlight show on HBO. The show has a group of first time film makers vying for a chance to make a movie. Damon got into a bit of a spat with movie producer Effie Brown. Brown, who is black, suggested that the selection team should consider choosing an ethnically diverse finalist. Damon, who is clearly a racist, said the person for the job should be chosen on "merit" leaving "all other factors out". How dare he! Is it any wonder that he set the Twittersphere on fire? Choosing a winner based on merit! What an ass.
Po

Stupid Is What Stupid Does

Hello My Dear Friends! Why, in this crazy world, are so many people out looking for issues to complain about? I, for one, am growing weary of this nonsense! Let's take a look at what the national media sees as issues to discuss this week. Is Taylor Swift a racist? Taylor Swift filmed her latest video "Wildest Dreams" in Africa. It's an "old Hollywood glamour" themed love story. The problem? Almost everyone in the video is white. Well, cased closed. She must be a racist. Critics used words like "shocking" and "unbelievable". Seriously? Talk about manufacturing a controversy. Have we nothing better to do? Next, Kermit the Frog. Yes, seriously, Kermit has been seen "dating" a younger, thinner pig since he and Miss Piggy called it quits. Feminists are "outraged"! "It sends the wrong message to kids"! LOL. Okay, even if we overlook the fact that we're talking about puppets, this is still ridiculous. I saw Miss Piggy on Instagram with Liam Hemsworth. I think she wins. On the somewhat serious side of stupid, let's look at the Kim Davis debacle. She is, of course, the Kentucky Clerk who was jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. So many people are determined to make this a "religious freedom" issue. Fine. It isn't, but, Fine. She was jailed for ignoring a court order. She broke the law and she was punished for it. That's the fact. Many people are coming to her defense including, but not limited to, the ever pious Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee. He calls it the greatest assault on religious freedom ever! Really? Look, no one is impeding Mrs. Davis' right to live her new found religious beliefs. They're stopping her from imposing those beliefs on others in violation of, not only her oath of office, but Federal law. But, in deference to those of you who believe it is an issue of religious freedom, let me ask you this. If you support Mrs. Davis' position, do you also support the right of a Jehovah's Witness Doctor refusing to give needed blood transfusions to patients? Do you also support a Muslim school aide refusing to serve lunch to students during Ramadan? You would have to, wouldn't you? Finally, the media is all abuzz about Donald Trump fumbling a foreign policy question during a radio interview. Good Heavens! Radio host Huge Hewitt asked Trump about Iran's Quds forces. Trump confused the Quds with the Kurds. His opponents went wild! How could anyone running for President not know the difference between Qassem Soleimani, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Abu al-Rahman Mustafa al-Qaduli? Seriously? Is this the standard we are now holding candidates to? In 2008, candidate Barak O'Bama said (and I quote) "I've now been in 57 states, I think, one left to go".  We have certainly raised the bar, haven't we! So, in closing, can we please stop looking for problems and start dealing with the ones that actually exist? Thank you. Enjoy the long weekend!
Po

The Less You Know...

Hello My Dear Friends! There's a new term being used by pundits and the media and making it's way into the mainstream. It's "Low-Information Voters" or "LIVs". The term has actually been around since the early 1990s but is seeing a resurgence, not surprisingly, lately. It refers to, well, stupid people who vote. I'm about to offend some of you so brace yourselves. Your typical LIV will say things like "I'm voting for Hillary because we need a woman for President", or, "I'm voting for Donald Trump because he's not a politician". Informed voters choose a candidate based on their political views, positions and plans for the future. LIVs choose a candidate based on a superficial personal belief. I have said many, many times that everyone needs to vote. I've said many, many times that I don't care who you vote for as long as you vote. I no longer feel that way.  I have evolved. I now see voting in the same way I see driving. If you don't know what you're doing, please stay off the roads for the safety of us all.
An amazing story has been blanketing the web and has even been picked up by some actual news organizations. It's been written that a little girl, named Laura, was sent home from school because her Wonder Woman lunchbox violated school policy regarding violent images. Outrageous! It's political correctness run amok! Even Wonder Woman herself, Linda Carter weighed in. There's a problem though. The story simply isn't true. There were obvious red flags right from the start but, in today's media climate, we never let the facts get in the way of a good common outrage. The original post began with "A friend of mine's daughter". Red flag #1. Next, the family in the story was only identified by their first names, no surname. Red flag #2. Finally, no specific school district was named. Red flag #3. Three red flags in the first paragraph of any story should alert the average person that they are reading another internet fabrication. But, alas, it did not. The story was shared over 8 million times before the original poster took it down and disappeared.
350-500 Black Lives Matter protesters disrupted the Minnesota State Fair on Saturday. I have no problem with peaceful protests but, this particular protest, although peaceful, was insane. The group marched around the perimeter of the Fairgrounds chanting "Pigs in a blanket, Fry 'em like bacon". Are you kidding me? That is not free speech. That's incendiary speech and it is not protected under the First Amendment. Those people should have been arrested on the spot. This insanity has to stop. How many Law Enforcement Officers have to get gunned down in the street before someone has the courage to step up and stop this? An organized group of hundreds, calling for the killing of Police Officers and no one did a thing! WFT! This "protest" came one day, one day people, after Harris County Sheriff's Deputy Darren Goforth was assassinated while pumping gas. The 47 year old father of two was first shot in the back and then shot repeatedly as he lay on the ground. The 30 year old animal who gunned him down, for no other reason than he was wearing a uniform, will be arraigned on a capital murder charge today. You want to "fry someone like bacon", here's your chance Texas.
Finally, last night at the MTV VMA's, Kanye West announced that he would be running for President in 2020. LOL! I can't wait for that Iowa Caucus!
Po

A Contrast in Logic

Hello My Dear Friends. I am aware that using the words 'government' and 'logic' in the same sentence is the definition of oxymoron but, alas, here I go. Let's start with the on-going saga of the Ashley Madison website hack. As you know, this is the site that goobers use to cheat on their spouse. How people this stupid managed to got someone to marry them boggles the mind but, I digress. In the latest release of hacked info we have learned that many of those aforementioned goobers, hundreds, were government employees, who used their work computers. These were not just your run-of-the-mill useless government workers. They included two assistant U.S. attorneys, an information technology administrator from the Executive Office of the President, a division chief and investigator from the Justice Department and various high level employees from the Departments of State, Homeland Security, Justice, Treasury, Energy and Transportation. Can you say Hackers Dream? These fine, upstanding government officials used their office computers, during business hours, on our nickel, to troll for concubines! Here's the fun part, no one has been fired or even suspended. Is it any wonder that government computers keep getting hacked? The White House has been blaming these massive hacks on Chinese Government Espionage. The truth of the matter is, our own government has been swinging the door open by using their government computers to access questionable public websites, with impunity. Apparently these particular goobers were 'too valuable to dismiss'. LOL! This is nothing new. An EPA worker, back in 2010, was busted for using his office computer to view porn, during business hours, for 4 to 6 hours PER DAY. When investigators went to question him, he was on a website called "Sadism is Beautiful". He had clocked over 7000 hours of "porn time" during business hours. What happened to him? He was given a 'merit-based performance award' and maintained his $120,000 a year job. That same year Federal Investigators identified several dozen Pentagon workers who were using their government computers to view and collect child pornography! They were "reassigned", instead of imprisoned. The moral of the story is, if you're a pervert, you need to find yourself a government job!
Next, and I find this very disturbing, is a story about a decorated Green Beret named Sgt. 1st Class Charles Martland, an 11 year Special Forces Veteran who, during his second deployment to Afghanistan was awarded the Bronze Star for Valor. SFC Martland is being kicked out of the Service for shoving an Afghan Police Commander, knocking him to the ground. There is a little more to the story. You see, the Afghan Commander, who was trained, armed and paid with U.S. tax dollars, raped a 12-year old boy. When the boy's mother confronted the Commander, he beat her. SFC Martland and his Special Forces Team confronted the rapist who, according to reports, laughed at them. SFC Martland then knocked him to the ground while explaining to him how this wasn't funny. All the members of the team were punished by the Army but SFC Martland, the leader, is being drummed out. The rapist commander remains on the payroll. Apparently he's more valuable to the U.S. than the decorated Green Beret. Imagine that. Is it any wonder that we're in the trouble we're in?
Po

Who's Surprised?

Hello My Dear Friends!  About a year ago I told you about "The Pendulum of Life" (Sept. 25, 2014). I said, in essence, that the social tide in America swings, like a pendulum, from left to right every decade or so. At that time I pointed out that the farther those currently in charge pushed America to the left, the faster and farther it would swing to the right. Well, enter Donald Trump. The media and political pundits are "stunned" and "confused" by the support for Donald Trump, in spite of what he says or does. Really? Mr. Trump, my friends, is the pendulum swinging! His unfiltered, in your face, anti-PC campaign kicked the last straw out from under the left and put the pendulum in motion to the right. No one should be surprised by this. Trump said, "I don't have time for political correctness and neither does America". He's right, in a way. No one should be using language that is offensive to society as a whole. But, the PC police have run amok for years now and people are finally saying enough is enough. The pundits keep saying that Trump is "tapping into an 'anger' in America". America, dear pundits, isn't 'angry'. Americans are frustrated. Americans are tired of being told what to do, what to say, what to eat and how to raise their kids. Americans are tired of career politicians saying one thing and doing another or, even worse, doing nothing at all. Americans are tired of being lied to over and over again. Americans, my friends, are tired of the victimization of America. Today, everyone is a victim. And, who is responsible? Well, everyone else, of course. The belief that 'I am poor because you are rich' is as ridiculous as it is destructive but that is the belief an entire generation is being taught. But it's not just that. Last week in Birmingham, Alabama, a police detective was pistol whipped unconscious, with his own weapon, during a routine traffic stop. The driver ignored the detective's order to stay in his vehicle. He got out and became aggressive.  The detective says he hesitated to pull his weapon for fear he could be prosecuted. While he was calling for backup, the suspect sucker punched him, grabbed his weapon and beat him unconscious. That's not the worst part. The beating happened in front of a group of people who, instead of helping the officer, pulled out their phones and started snapping selfies. A few of the bystanders posted pictures on social media of the bloodied officer lying on the ground with things like "pistol whipped his ass to sleep" and "#FckDaPolice". I'm pretty sure you can guess the racial make up of this atrocity. Where is the humanity? More importantly, where is the outrage? I'll tell you where. It's lost in the fog of political correctness. I realize that this happened in Alabama where everyone involved is probably married to their cousin, but that doesn't absolve them of their inhumane behavior. If the victim in this episode had been a dog or a lion with a name, the world would be calling for the attacker's head on a platter. But, since it was a cop, it barely made the news. Is it any wonder then, why the pendulum is swinging. For those who believe that support for Donald Trump is a "summer romance" or a "moment of insanity", I've got news for you. Once the pendulum starts to swing, there is no stopping it's momentum. Will Donald Trump be the next President of the United States? I doubt it. But stranger things have happened. One thing I do know for sure, America is on it's way back to the right and, like it or not, the momentum is going to take it way right of center. The current popularity of Donald Trump does prove one thing. I was right again! Imagine that.
Po

The Human Condition

Hello My Dear Friends! In my 80+ Cat years (that's 15+ human years), I've struggled to understand what make people tick. You're really not all that complicated. Most of you just plain suck. No further study required. Some of you though, are products of the Human Condition. That's a theory made popular in the late 1950's in the book of the same name by Hannah Arendt. It basically says that characteristics, key events and situations create the essentials of human existence. Blah, Blah, Blah. I think it is far more simple than that. People are far more simple than that.  I think, in it's most basic form, people want to be happy, accepted and appreciated. This fully explains our obsession with social media. People in need can find all three, happiness, acceptance and appreciation, all by seeing a "like" on a Farcebook post or a "retweet" on Twitter. This brings me to thought for the day; Easy Outrage. This is a trend that, for me, makes my head hurt. What is Easy Outrage? It's simple. It's getting all fired up about something that, when put in to perspective, is a non-issue. Take, for example, the recent killing of Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe. Now, before you turn your easy outrage on me, let me say that I love animals. All animals. Especially those in the Cat family, for obvious reasons. The killing of this majestic animal was sad. The fact that it happens every day appears to be irrelevant. I can explain that. The reason the death of Cecil drew hundreds of millions of Farcebook shares and comments and millions of Tweets, Retweets and hashtags is simple. Cecil had a name. It wasn't just a big game hunter killing a lion. It was an American Dentist offing Cecil! It's an outrage! Yes it is. It's an easy outrage. You can write about, post pictures of lions and lament about the senseless killing of animals. Who's gonna argue with you? Pile up the "likes" and "shares". The real tragedy is that the people of Zimbabwe are suffering. Fungai Machirori, a Zimbabwe-based journalist, wrote that, prior to the international outcry, the vast majority of people in Zimbabwe had never heard of Cecil. Why? Because nearly 73% of the people in Zimbabwe live in poverty. They eat lion. Who wants to be outraged over that? The GDP per capita in Zimbabwe is $2000. That's 25 times less than what Robert Palmer paid to kill that lion. Do you see the conflict with the Human Condition? If you posted that on your Farcebook page with the picture of a starving child you probably wouldn't get the same reaction. We want to be outraged at the injustices of the world as long as they're not controversial. Easy outrage. It's the new social Consciousness!
In an unrelated note, I've been trying to teach the new captive Nava Bleu, how to blog. You know, passing on the power, handing over the reins. I am, after all, getting up there in years. So, I sit the girl down and explain the rules and, well....

It doesn't look too promising! I'll keep at it. Enjoy the day!

Po

Where Will It End?

Hello My Dear Friends! As this world continues to spin out of control, I can't help but wonder where it will all end. Early this month the Obama Administration took it upon themselves to quietly change the Oath of Allegiance that new citizens take as part of the naturalization process. New citizens are no longer required to pledge to defend this country if required by law. Apparently some of our new Americans were uncomfortable with that obligation. So, if at some point the Government reinstates the draft, only actual Americans will be required to comply. Naturalized citizens can just sit back and reap the rewards. Makes sense to me. Oh wait, no it doesn't. Why would you want to be a part of a Country that you have no interest in defending? Oh, that's right, the benefits. Charming. So, welcome to America, Land of the free(loader). Speaking of being an American....
The University of New Hampshire has issued a "Bias-Free Language Guide". It's a classic! Words in the guide listed as "problematic" include 'American', 'Caucasian' and 'healthy'. There are about 4200 other words but these are my favorite. 'American' is "problematic" because it "assumes that the US is the only country in North, South and Central America. Students should therefore identify themselves as "US Citizen" or "resident of the United States". LOL! 'Caucasian' is "problematic" because the "concept of race was designed to maintain slavery". Therefore students of that persuasion should refer to themselves as "European-American individuals". 'Healthy' is out. It's now "non-disabled". Also on the hit list; Mothering and Fathering (assigns gender to non-gendered activity), rich, poor and senior citizen, The Tax Payer Funded university, in the Live Free or Die State, has also found the pronouns he, she, him, and her "problematic" as well as 'freshman', 'foreigner' (tough luck for the band), 'overweight or obese' (people of size), 'guys', 'opposite sex'. It's enough to make your head explode. People, we are doomed! So, as the captive of a non-disabled, person of low economic status, European-American, resident of the United States, (Poor, healthy, white, American), I've decided to just refer to everyone as Dude (until that is outlawed). I'm just glad I'm a cat!
Po

Just When I thought I Was Out...

Hello My Dear Friends. Just when I thought I was out of the Blogging game, you drag me back in! I swear, you people are lost without me! So much has happened in the past few weeks so, let's begin...
It's been nearly a month since the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage. I haven't gotten hit by a hunk of sky yet. Have you? I guess it isn't falling after all.
Donald Trump is making headlines again. Trump said that John McCain wasn't really a war hero. He's just considered a hero because he got captured. I disagree. However, in 2000 democratic Senator Al Franken said of John McCain, "I'm not buying the war hero thing. Anybody can be captured. I thought the idea was to capture them. As far as I'm concerned he sat out the war". Remember the huge outcry for his resignation? Me either. Once again, it's not what is said, it's who says what. Trump also said that illegal aliens are treated better than our Veterans. He's right about that.
Democratic Presidential candidate Martin O'Malley was speaking to a Progressive Conference in Phoenix on Saturday. While addressing the topic of police shooting unarmed black people, O'Malley said, "Black lives matter, white lives matter, all lives matter". He was roundly booed. O'Malley, the former Mayor of Baltimore and former Governor Maryland, later APOLOGIZED for the comment saying he "meant no disrespect"! LOL! What a world!
The President finalized his deal with Iran. There's good news and bad news. Iran is a major producer of pistachios and Persian rugs. So, lifting the trade sanctions will lower the prices of those items. The bad news is that they now have billions of dollars to fund Hezbollah, Boko Haram and Hamas. And, of course, there's that whole nuclear weapon thing. I do love pistachios though.
When I hear the term "domestic terrorism" I think of a housekeeper flipping out and knocking off her employer. There's nothing "domestic" about a Kuwaiti born man, named Mohammad Abdulazeez, who spent months in the Middle East. He's an Islamic Terrorist. Call a duck a duck people.
President Obama refuses to order National flags lowered to half-staff to honor the 5 Servicemen gunned down in Chattanooga. I don't get it. I also don't get why there is no public outcry about it. It's disgraceful. Simply disgraceful. It's not surprising but it is sad.
Finally, the US today officially restored ties with Cuba. Embassies opened in both countries. Funny thing. Dozens gathered to watch the Cuban Flag being raised at the State Department here, while hundreds lined up outside the American Embassy in Cuba looking for Visas to the US. Imagine that!
Po

I Like Trump

Hello My Dear Friends! I know it is far too early to get into the slim that is American politics but, seriously, let's lift the collective foot off the man's throat. Yes, he said something offensive. Who would have ever imagined that Donald Trump would say something that pissed people off? Here we go again. Gather the villagers and light the torches! It's Donald Trump, people. It's his lack of PC filter that makes him so entertaining! Now, you know, hypocrisy is high on my list of things that piss me off. NBC fired The Donald! Really? Because, since he announced for President, he would have had to leave his Apprentice shows anyway. The hypocrisy comes from the people NBC didn't fire. Brian Williams (liar); Al Sharpton (racist, anti-semitic jackass); Melissa Harris-Perry (lunatic); the list goes on and on. As far as the Miss USA pageant goes, they pulled out because no one was watching anyway. Univision dumped the pageant too. Same reason. As for Macy's, they severed ties with Trump because of their zero tolerance policy for discrimination. That's a hoot coming from a company that's been named in two federal class action suits, for racial profiling, in the past 10 years. Macy's has paid out hundreds of thousands of dollars over the last decade to hush up lawsuits over their treatment of black and Latino customers. Zero tolerance? Really? Don't even get me started on the combat Veteran you tossed aside, saying that she wouldn't be able to "deal with customers after being in combat". remember that one? I do. Anyway, my point is, go wave your righteous indignation in someone else's face. We see through you. Now, back to Trump. He said he would build a great wall on the southern border. He said (paraphrasing here) 'they're bring drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists and some, I assume, are good people'. First, he wasn't talking about Mexican-Americans. He wasn't talking about Mexican immigrants as a whole. He was talking about the people who sneak across the border in the middle of the night. Now, we all know that no one is trying to sneak drugs across the Mexican border. We also know that illegal immigrants do not commit crimes, certainly not rape. So what the heck could he have been talking about? Maybe he was referring to the Government Accountability Office report that followed 55,300 illegal immigrants for one year. That group only accumulated 459,614 arrests. He couldn't have been referring to that. Heck, only 70% of that group was arrested more than once. Only 26% were arrested 11 times or more. And only 6600 of those arrests were for rape or murder. And why build a wall on the southern border? Only 97% of illegals enter over the southern border. Seems like an over-reaction. I don't know where Donald Trump is getting these crazy ideas. Anyway, I guess he's lucky he doesn't own a sports team!
Po

Gray is the New Bleu

Hello My Dear Friends! Well, the Captors have gone and done it! They've dragged a new Captive into the prison! We, the lifers, hate her, of course. She's a real newbie too. I don't remember ever being that small. She's very needy and mouthy too. She kept coming up to me and saying, "Are you my Mama"? I tell her no, and she keeps coming back. So, I whacked her in the head. I said, "Hey, new kid, you've got a lot to learn. Do not be getting all up in my face. I'm old and I'm tired"! I told those darn Captors that I was not going to raise another one of their prisoners yet, here I am. She is a cute little bugger though.

Anyway, I can tell she's going to be a handful. First, she thinks she's way bigger than she is. She keeps trying to drink out of our water bowl. She can't reach it so she climbs on top. Every time she does, she falls in! I said, "Hey, new kid, you're kind of a dumbass. Drink out of the baby bowl"! But no. She's been walking around with wet paws all day! Next, she takes a header into our litter box! I say, "Hey, new kid, that little box is for you. You're too small for the big Kitty box". But no. In she goes, head first again. I say, "Hey, new kid, if you're gonna use that box you better cover up your business. I'm only gonna show you once. Don't be leaving your business lying around. That's a rule. Got it"? So far she seems to have learned that one but I'm keeping my eye on her. She's already doing the stairs! I had to spend the whole night on the top step to make sure the little nut didn't go tumbling down! I am really too old for this! Consequella has a different take on the situation....

I hate the Bitch! She's all hopping around and whinny. Come play with me, come play with me. So I whacked her in the head and said back off squirt. This is my prison. I ain't yo Mama! And stop sticking your feet in my water bowl! I told her, "Don't touch my stuff or I will end you"! She backed off and went crying to the Captors. What a wimp! Everyone's saying 'Awww, she so cute'. I told her, "Bitch, you will NEVER be as beautiful as me"! Then I whacked her again! Alfie agrees with me...

She keeps calling me Big Gray. I told her, "My name is Alfreda Baranski Fliskers. You can call me Your Highness". But no. She calls me Big Gray. So I whacked her in the head. Every one is saying how cute she is. Bah! Just another blue eyed demon. Like we don't have enough of those around here already! Today, she ate my food! I said, "Hey, blue eyed demon, eat your own food"! Then I whacked her in the head again. She's got the Captors all going, "Be nice! She's your little sister". I said 'she ain't no sister of mine'! Thinking she can just waltz in here and join the family. The nerve! She was even sitting on My Captor! Mine! I was so angry I hissed! Bitch made me hiss! She's only been here 24 hours and already it's chaos. Chaos I tell you! I don't know what those Captors were thinking!

Walk A Mile, My Friend!

People, people, people. If ignorance really is bliss, this has to be the happiest place on earth! So, former Olympian Bruce Jenner has completed his transition into Caitlyn. She is now a transgender woman. She is not a "he" or a "he/she" or any of the other charming terms I've heard used this week. She is a she. You don't have to understand it. I, personally, don't understand quantum physics. That doesn't make quantum physics wrong. When quantum physics comes up in conversation, I simply say, "I don't get it", No further comment necessary. It's okay not to understand the personal decisions that people make. It is not okay to diminish them for it. I can only imagine the internal struggle that transgender people go through. Life is hard enough when you are comfortable in your own skin. According to the American Foundation for the Prevention of Suicide, 45% of transgender people, aged 18-24, have attempted suicide. That compares to 13% of heterosexuals in that age range. Clearly the struggle is a difficult one. Uninformed people, making moronic comments, doesn't make it any easier. There is a movement afoot to have Bruce Jenner's olympic medal revolked. Apparently some people think that, because Caitlyn Jenner is now transgender, any accomplishments in 1976 should be void. That makes perfect sense to me. How could something you did nearly 40 years ago not be impacted by a decision you make today. We should all be held to those standards. So far, this week, I've heard countless people say it was a "publicity stunt" or that he did it for the money. Seriously? That's a little extreme, don't you think? One radiohead said, 'if this is right, then why can't I put on a dress, say 'I'm not Billy, I'm Betty', and apply for those government contracts they reserve for women-owned businesses'? I heard another say that there is no difference between a transgender person and someone who chopped off their own arm to become disabled. "What's the difference", he asked. Yet another, and this is my favorite, declared "It's not what God intended"! Let me address the latter first. You have no idea what God intended for Caitlyn Jenner. Just as you have no idea what God intended for you. In the big scheme of things, you may be God's disappointment. Perhaps you may want to actually read that bible that you are so quick to thump. Allow me to assist. Romans 14:4 Who are you to pass judgement on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. As for the other morons, putting on a dress does not make you a woman any more than putting on cleats would make you a ballplayer. Saying things that you perceive as clever doesn't make you clever, it makes you a jackass. As for mister 'chopped off his arm', I'm still scratching my head. Why would someone chop off their arm to become disabled? Wouldn't simply being stupid enough to think that was an option be disabling enough? Anyway, people, can we agree that there is no way to know why people do what they do until, as they say, you've walked a mile in their shoes? Caitlyn Jenner is this week's headline news. Just as Christine Jorgensen was in the 50's and Renee Richards was in the 70's. The world keeps on turning. Can't we all just get along?
Sway

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello People! The First Lady is at it again. Her latest target...Smores! According to her MyPlate website, FLOTUS wants us to leave the chocolate and marshmallows out of Smores. Don't panic. Mrs. Obama isn't asking you to sit around the campfire eating plain graham crackers. That would be silly. No, FLOTUS wants us to replace the chocolate and marshmallow with strawberries and low fat yogurt! YUM! I can just see it now. The kids all sitting around the fire with a strawberry on a stick, giddily waiting for it to heat up so they can slap it on a blob of low fat yogurt. Mouthwatering, isn't it? We'll have to change the name though. Smores, or S'Mores as they're technically called, implies that you would want more than one. This new version is more like Yuk on a Cracker so we'll call it the Yacker. The war on deliciousness continues!
Speaking of deliciousness, it looks like the fine people of Mississippi can't resist it! For the second year running, Mississippi has been named the State with the highest obesity rate at 35.2%.  I guess they're not eating all of those soybeans they're growing. New York State, by the way, was among the lowest in the Nation with an obesity rate of 24.7%. I assume that's because people in this State can't afford to over eat! Anyway, I can't help but wonder where they're hiding the scales. How else would they know how much everyone weighs?
So, the always entertaining (for all the wrong reasons), Reverend Al Sharpton took to Twitter Wednesday to pose this question, (I'm quoting directly here) "Do you think the Texas flooding is related to climate control or God's Rebuke"? He tagged that moment of brilliance with #KeepingItReal. Oh Al, where to begin. First of all, it's climate change, not climate control. Next, what, in your divine understanding, did the fine people of Texas do that would prompt God to go all Old Testament on them? The real question here, Dear Reverend, is "Are you an example of our failed education system or just a personification of idiocy"? I'm leaning toward the latter.
Finally, in his younger days, Democratic Presidential Candidate Bernie Sanders wrote an essay saying that "women fantasize about being gang-raped". When questioned, his campaign said it was a failed attempt at satire. The "media" accepted that explanation and moved on. Nothing to see here. I can't help but wonder if the reaction would have been the same if the name on the bottom of that sick piece of crap was Ted Cruz or Chris Christie. I'm guessing it wouldn't be.
Sway

Please Make It Stop!

Hello People! Let me begin by saying that I know that, in many ways, I am a dinosaur. Even though I try to "move with the times"  and "keep an open mind" but sometimes it just doesn't work for me. For instance, only in New York can this be banned for being "patently offensive"...

And this be allowed as "protected speech"...

This is so far beyond insane, I've had to make up a new work for it. It's Fukaloonie! I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm living in some alternate dimension. How do sane people make decisions like this? And, more importantly, where is the outrage? Where is the freaking outrage! Have we really become so indifferent to the world around us that we just shake ours heads and move on? Apparently so. While all this was going on, the top trending stories were the National Spelling Bee and Man Covers Himself in Bees. Priorities, I guess. A Feuilleton is part of a European magazine or newspaper designed to entertain the general reader, Note the spelling, it may serve you later.

With all that said, you probably also don't care that the Government just granted......

$200,000 of your tax dollars to fund a study of 'how and why Wikipedia is sexist'.

$371, 020 to study if 'mothers love dogs as much as their children'.

$804,254 to develop a smartphone game called "Kiddio: Food Fight" to help parents to get their kids to eat healthier foods.

$856,000 to teach Mountain Lions to walk on treadmills, apparently to better understand mountain lion instincts. Fukaloonie!

My point here, yes I actually have one, is that our priorities seem to be a bit askew. I'm just saying that if we paid a bit more attention to what our Government was doing, perhaps we won't be so surprised when what they're doing bites us in the ass.

Sway

Shame on You

Hello People. I'm sure you've heard all of the outrage lately over "social shaming". It started entertainingly enough, with people posting pictures of their remorseful dogs wearing signs that said "I tore up the trash" or "I peed on the carpet". But, today, this practice has spiraled out of control. There are websites, Facebook pages and Twitter feeds dedicated to "shaming" people. I'm not saying that some people don't deserve to have their bad behavior revealed. They do. But some of these sites are just vicious for the sake of being vicious. One site takes random selfies off other sites and post them just to ridicule the people in them. One site allows people to post pictures of women they consider "sluts". High school kids have a place to post pictures and comments, anonymously of course, of fellow students. These pictures and comments, as you can imagine, are cruel and meant to disgrace the target. This is the downside and ugly underbelly of technology.  Allowing people to anonymously slander or humiliate innocent people has led to an unprecedented wave of hate. Social shaming does have consequences but not always the ones you would think. People have lost their jobs, marriages have ended, kids have been forced to change schools, been thrown out of college, and in some cases, the worst case scenario plays out, and the victim takes their own life. Why? Because some angry idiot decides it would be "funny" to post disgusting things about someone who they don't like or, in many cases, don't even know. This is the world we live in. Anything you do, say or wear could be captured on a cellphone and uploaded to the internet for the whole world to judge. One person posts it, someone else shares or retweets it and the next thing you know, thousands of people have weighed in. I'm not talking about "Corporate Shaming" here, where you post about bad service or broke products. I'm talking about these personal attacks on individuals who've done nothing more than crossed your path. One site, The People of Walmart, was created for just this purpose. They don't even blur the faces of the people they're shaming. It's unbelievable mean. But it isn't just random shaming. Last week I came across a Facebook assault on a friend of mine. I won't get into names or details but what I saw amazed me. The victim of the attack is a hard working business owner who is selflessly involved in our community. The "attackers" were all involved with one person, who had a falling out with the victim. Their posts attacked him personally, his family and his business for no other reason than spite. It was ridiculous and upsetting. First, these "attackers" don't realize that by trying to destroy one member of our community, you diminish us all. They probably also live in their Mom's basement or on a friends couch. I cannot stop these people. I am not the Jackass Whisperer. What I can do, what we all can do, is call these people out for the haters that they are. Not by social shaming them in return. By personally calling them out. We all know people who do this this. You need to tell them that it is not acceptable. If you don't know the source, don't share the hate by commenting. Commenting on hateful posts does no good. It gives the attackers what they want. It gives them a larger audience for the hate. Delete them. Block them. Report their posts to the site administrator. It only takes a minute. If we, the people, don't do something to stem the tide of this cyber lunacy it will continue to grow and spread. We have, for too long, accepted the fact that we've lost right to privacy. Here's a news flash. We didn't lose our right to privacy, we gave it away. I, personally, would not wear a tube top to Walmart but, damn it, people have a right to do it without being humiliated on the internet. It's time st stand up people! It's time to put an end to social shaming.
Sway

Just When I thought I'd Heard It All!

Hello People. Just when I thought you people could no longer amaze me, BAM, you do it again! The Washington Post is reporting that another prisoner in the Baltimore police van with Freddie Gray, says Gray was trying to injure himself. Really? The prisoner, who will remain anonymous for his own safety, reportedly says he couldn't see Gray but he heard him throwing himself around. Seriously? So now, apparently, we just have to determine if he severed his own spine before or after he crushed his own windpipe. Hey Baltimore PD, you've had nearly two weeks and this is the best story you could come up with? This whole situation has been mishandled from the beginning. Batten down the hatches Baltimore, I fear things are about to go from bad to worse. Believe me people, no one supports the police more than I do but this is ridiculous. Freddie Gray was not a good guy. He had dozens of prior arrests. But, if I don't buy this story how do you think it's going to fly on the street of Baltimore? While I'm at it Baltimore, where did you get your Mayor, Craig's List? What a hot mess!
Brace yourselves for this one....A U.S. District Judge in Manhattan has ruled that the Metropolitan Transportation Authority must display ads on their buses and subway cars that read "Killing Jews is worship that draws us close to Allah". The judge, John Koelti, ruled that the ads, paid for by the American Freedom Defense Initiative, were protected speech under the First Amendment. You can't make this stuff up people. The so-called "Kill Jews" ad features a menacing man wearing a scarf around his head and face and goes on to say "That's His Jihad, What's Yours"? I don't know what First Amendment Judge Koelti was reading but the one I'm familiar with does not protect speech that "promotes lawless activity". I'm pretty sure that calling for the murders of innocent people falls under the "not covered" portion. I can't even fathom what was going through that judge's mind. It makes no sense at all yet, there it is.
I will leave you with a happy story. The captor was driving home the other day. An accident had the highway backed up and, as usual, no one was letting anyone in. As the captor say with her blinker on waiting to merge, she noticed a pick-up truck approaching that was decked out with NY Yankees paraphernalia. The captor, who was, of course, wearing her Yankees jacket, turned to the pick-up, now beside her, and pointed to the Yankees logo on her jacket. The pick-up driver smiled, waved and slowed down to allow the captor to merge ahead of him. Thanks Dude! You just have to love Yankees' fans. It's a family thing!
Sway

Thoughts Over Catnip

Hello People. Happy Friday. I would actually mean that if it were still snowing! I would like someone to track down this Mother Nature and punish her. Bitch needs to pay! Anyway, I've been wondering, if the delicious Greek sandwich Gyro is actually pronounced year-o, why is the country not pronounced yeese? Anyone know? Ukrainian singer Kristina Karo has filed a lawsuit against actress Mila Kunis (Mrs. Ashton Kutcher). Karo claims that, 25 years ago, she and Kunis were 1st grade friends and that Mila was so jealous over Karo's pet chicken, named doggie, that she stole it! Karo, to this day, is devastated! That's why she is suing Kunis for $5000. Also, she has a new music video coming out and no one has ever heard of her. Personally, I'm a big fan of chicken, but $5000 seems a bit excessive. Karo says she needs that amount to pay for therapy sessions she needs to cope with the loss of her beloved poultry. One would think the statute of limitations on chicken thieving would have run out after 25 years. Also, there's that whole 'it happened in another country' thing. Lucky for Karo, she now lives in Los Angeles, where anything goes! I shouldn't single out California. A New York Supreme Court judge has agreed to hear a case that would give chimpanzees human rights. Yup! She issued a writ of habeas corpus which legally recognizes the chimps as people. The case surrounds two chimps being held for research at Stony Brook University. The chimps, or at least their advocates, are arguing that is "unlawful imprisonment". Your tax dollars in action! Tonight on TV is the big ABC Bruce Jenner exclusive. Most people believe that Jenner will unveil that he is transitioning into a woman. I think, if this is true, the important take-away will be that the question of 'how far will someone go to get away from Kris Kardashian' will finally be answered! Hey, do you eat a lot of shrimp? Consumer Reports examined 342 samples of frozen shrimp, from food retailers in 27 cities, and guess what! 60% of the shrimp tested was contaminated with bacteria! Most of the shrimp sold in the US comes from Thailand, Vietnam, China, Bangladesh and India. The shrimp was contaminated with Listeria, E. Coli and salmonella. 2% carried MRSA (that's the drug resistant super bug). Still hungry? 83% of the raw shrimp from Bangladesh was tainted; 74% from India. I don't like those odds but hey, you never know! If you are going to roll the dice, make sure you know where the shrimp came from and be sure to cook it thoroughly. With that, Enjoy the Weekend!
Sway

If It Walks Like A Duck...

Hello People! I'd like to share with you a little tidbit I read today in the New York Times. It's all very complicated so I'll break it down as best I can. It's about a Canadian company know as Uranium One. This company is now the world leader in Uranium production. It is also now owned by the Russian government. They hold a 51% share. Uranium One owns mining stakes from Central Asia to the United States. As a matter of fact, Uranium One owns one-fifth of all the uranium production capacity of the United States, with holdings in Utah, Wyoming, Texas and other states. Here's the interesting part. Because uranium is a "strategic asset" with implications for national security, this deal needed the approval of many US Government agency heads, including, but not limited to the State Department. The acquisition of Uranium One by the Russians took several years with the bulk of the dealings and approvals running from 2007-2013. During this time frame, Hillary Clinton was the Secretary of State. Also during that time frame, various key players in the Uranium One deal contributed $31.5 million to the Clinton Foundation. The Chairman of Uranium One alone, through his family foundation, donated $2.35 million. These contributions were never public reported as required by regulations set up by the Obama Administration. Did something nefarious go on here? I don't know. That needs to be determined by those far smarter than me. Does it smell to high Heaven? Yes it does! Influence peddling is nothing new in Washington. Sadly, it happens every day. However, this is really scary stuff. Uranium, as you know, is the basis of nuclear weapons, and now Russia controls the lion's share of it. They control 1/5 of OUR share of it. How does this happen right under our noses without a word? Even more frightening is the question of what else is going on that we know nothing about? One-third of our national debt is now held by foreign investors, with Japan in the lead. Yes, contrary to popular belief, Japan holds more of our national debt than China does but China is a close second. Now we're selling off strategic assets too. Where will it end, people? Where will it end?
Sway

Hypocrisy Rocks!

Hello People! Before I enlighten you on the recent sad, but hysterical, hypocrisy I've come across, I'd like to begin with a personal note. It has come to my attention that my Captors are preparing to expand our prison population! They are hot on the trail of yet another captive who, according to a text message that I intercepted, will look like this:

I know, right! Poor dumb bastard! Although she is mildly attractive, she has no chance of reaching the level of utter beauty that I have attained! None! She'll be here in a few weeks. Anyway...

An Earth Day rally and concert on Saturday drew thousands of people to the National Mall in Washington, D.C.  It was a wonderful opportunity to pontificate on how uncaring Americans are destroying the planet. When all was said and done, the lovers of the environment moved on and left behind.....

LOL! I guess no one told them about those pesky plastic bottles and styrofoam containers! Oh well, at least they put on a good show.

Governor Andrew Cuomo is in Cuba today. Cuba? He claims it's a trip to "foster improved relations" with the communist regime to help New York businesses develop trade relations, now that we're ignoring that whole communist regime thing. This, from the same Governor who declared a travel ban to Indiana until they amended their controversial Religious Freedom Restoration Act. This, from the same Governor who said that "extreme conservatives have no place in the State New York". So, just to be clear, conservatives=bad; communists=good. Alrighty then! Thanks Gov! It's that kind of intelligent, clear headed governing that has made New York is the growing, thriving State it is!

Finally, Hillary Clinton is vowing to drive "unaccountable money" out of politics! LMFAO!!! This, from the woman who's foundation took millions of dollars from Saudi Arabia, Yemen and Algeria While she was Secretary of State. This, from the woman who secured lucrative foreign contracts for General Electric, ExxonMobil, Microsoft and Boeing, all of whom made large donations to the Clinton Foundation. I'm sure that was just a series of coincidences. It simple doesn't pass the laugh test. By the way, while I'm on the topic of the Clinton campaign, a little advice. Mrs. Clinton, this campaign strategy of talking to and working for "ordinary people" is pissing me off. I, as I'm sure many of you, have worked my entire life to rise above "ordinary". I, Mrs. Clinton, am extraordinary, as are most hard working Americans. If you really want to relate to the little people, you should stop underestimating them. We don't need a "champion" we need an honest leader. Do you happen to know one? Maybe you should send them to Chipotle to mingle with the masses.
Sway

Happy Freakin Tax Day!

Hello People! In honor of tax day, I thought I would give you some inspirational information to make writing that check to the IRS a little easier! As you may know, IRS Commissioner Jack Koskinen told us not to bother calling the IRS because the Taxman wouldn't be answering. Koskinen said the IRS was broke, understaffed and just too busy to pick up the phone. So, imagine my surprise when I learned that, over the past 5 years, the IRS spent $96.4 million dollars on office furniture! That's not even the most upsetting thing. During that same time, the IRS also spent $4.3 million on "market research and public opinion polls"! I could have saved you the time. You suck and we hate you! There you have it, free of charge! But wait! That's not all. They also bought an $8,000 Stair Climber and spent tens of thousands of dollars on TOYS! Yup, toys, including, but not limited to stuffed animals, toy footballs, kazoos, bathtub toy boats and Thomas the Tank rubber wristbands! These dumbfounding purchases were, according to the IRS, to decorate their offices and as give-a-ways at manager meetings. Whew! for a minute there I thought they were just wasting money. Oh, just so you know, if you are one of the lucky 40% of callers who actually get through to the IRS, you may get hung up on. That's okay. The IRS calls that a "courtesy disconnect" which they use to "save time" on callers who don't like what they're hearing. LOL! Try that at your job and see how it works for you. By the way, the average IRS agent makes $82,000 a year.
On to Education! A 10th grade history teacher in Wisconsin gave her students an interesting project. They were told to "imagine they were a Muslim living in America" and write a 5 paragraph essay about their average day and the struggles they face because of their religion. What? This is wrong on so many levels I don't know where to begin. First of all, if this is some PC attempt to understand Islam, why not write a paper on the "struggles" Muslim women face everywhere on the Planet except America? How about an average day for a woman living under Sharia Law? Next, what happened to keeping religion out of public education? Isn't that why Christmas vacation became winter break? Finally, since these students aren't actually Muslims, isn't this assignment really asking students to stereotype Muslims? Is the student to assume that all female Muslims are teased for wearing their Hijab? I would guess many Hasidic Jewish students face similar taunts. Why not image a day in the life of a Jew or a Catholic? Oh wait, I already know the answer to that, and so do you. There's been no comment on parental complaints about the assignment from the teacher or the school.
I'll leave you with this: Judicial Watch, Inc. (a non-partisan government watchdog group) says during a recent investigation they discovered that ISIS had opened a a training camp in Anapra, Mexico. They cite a Mexican Army Officer and a Mexican Federal Police Inspector as their source that the Juarez Drug Cartel was protecting the compound and "smuggling" ISIS operatives across the border. The Mexican officials told Judicial Watch that they found documents in Arabic, Muslim prayer rugs and a map of  Fort Bliss.Where is Anapra, Mexico, you ask? Eight miles east of El Paso, Texas. Where is Fort Bliss? Yup, El Paso. I have no idea if this is true. I'm just passing along what I read. It sure is a scary thought. Enjoy the day!
Sway

Please Tell Me You're Kidding!

Hello People. Every day, in every way, you seem to get dumber and dumber. Why is that? Could it be yet another effect of global warming? Where to begin....
A New Jersey teacher had her 3rd grade students write get well cards to convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal. The teacher, Marylin Zuniga, tweeted that the letters were delivered to the former Black Panther by "comrade Johanna Fernandez". Fernandez, a professor at Baruch College in NYC, put on her Farcebook page that she and the cop killer "shared a touching moment". Charming. She went on to say that "it had been a long time since we saw Mumia smile". Heartwarming, really. I wonder how long it's been since anyone has seen Maureen Faulkner smile. Who? She is the widow of Philadelphia police officer Danny Faulkner, who was murdered by Abu-Jamal in 1981. Faulkner was first shot in the back, then, while he lay on the ground, was shot 4 more times at close range. The good news is that the "teacher" was given a paid vacation while school officials investigate her actions.
Here's an interesting tidbit I picked up this week! Did you know that hundreds of Puerto Ricans are collecting Federal Disability Benefits in the U.S. because they don't speak English? Yup! Because Puerto Rico is a US Territory, Puerto Ricans are free to work in the US, but, why should they? The Social Security Administration has ruled that not speaking English makes our cousins to the south "less employable" and, therefore, disabled! That's worth about $735 a month. Not bad for not working! It makes one wonder how people who don't speak English well enough to work can read English well enough to navigate our Federal benefit's system. Weird, huh?
SmartTouch Media, a Las Vegas based company, came out with a fun, new app called "Rescue the Anorexia Girl"! It's a Whack-A-Mole style game where the players throw food at a sickly young girl. When players miss, the girl loses weight and eventually dies. What fun! Amazon had the common sense to pull the app from it's store but it's still available elsewhere. Wouldn't you have loved to be in on the meeting when someone decided this was a good idea and others agreed?
Finally, let me leave you with this: With the 2016 Presidential election mayhem already underway, Google released it's search trend data, relating to Presidential hopefuls, for the month of March. The number one thing American's wanted to know about the candidates......their height and age. We're doomed people. We're doomed.
Sway

Good Golly! You Want To What?

Hello People! I'm sure that you, like me, spend a good part of each day worrying about the environment and our impact on it. Well, good news! The EPA is once again spending our tax dollars to help us help ourselves. The EPA operates on an annual budget of about $9 billion dollars. They're requesting a $481 million dollar increase for fiscal 2016. It's money well spent. This year alone the EPA has launched a study to examine 'particulate emissions' coming from your backyard barbecue. They're proposing a 'secondary air filtration system' to go along with the drip tray. We don't know what those 'particulate emissions' are yet. Nor do we know if they're harmful. But, why wait for pesky details? Thanks EPA! I was just saying to the girls that backyard grills aren't nearly expensive enough. This will certainly take care of that!
The EPA has also launched a program to create a wireless system that will track how much water hotel guests use in the shower. Think about that for a moment. The EPA wants hotels to install wireless monitors in all of their showers to measure water usage. Gee, what could possible go wrong with that? Apparently they've never heard of water meters. It's a much better idea to install wireless electronics in our last bastion of privacy! You can't make this stuff up. The University of Tulsa has already received a grant to develop the technology.
This is the same agency that required companies that blend gas to use cellulosic biofuel or face significant fines. Unfortunately for those businesses, cellulosic biofuel doesn't exist on any kind of commercial level. So, the EPA first fined the refiners for not using the non-existent fuel, then mandated that they increase their use of it by 60%.
The EPA isn't alone. The Department of Health and Human Services just spent $500 million dollars on a program that will, among other things, seek to solve the problem of 5-year old kids who "can't sit still" in kindergarten classrooms. The Feds spent $30 million on a program designed to help Pakistani farmers produce more mangos and $3 million for a UC Irvine project to research the video game World of Warcraft! And you thought your tax dollars were being wasted. I'll leave you with this; the Heritage Foundation reports that the US military spent $998,798 dollars to ship two 19-cent washers from South Carolina to Texas and spent $293,451 dollars to ship one 89-cent washer from South Carolina to Florida. I could do this all day! Too bad there's no money left over to fix the water mains exploding all over America!
Sway

Oh My MY

People, people, people. Is the earth spinning too quickly for you? Are you all dizzy? Is that the problem? Every day I become more convinced that only two things in life are true. I am stunningly beautiful and you are completely nuts! Let's start in Washington, the home base of the National Crazy Train.
Six months ago our President touted Yemen as a success story; a shinning example of American diplomacy in action. Now, with Yemen in total chaos, one would think the White House would walk that statement back. Nope. Yesterday, when an ABC reporter asked White House spokesman Josh Earnest if they still considered Yemen a success story, Earnest replied, "A successful counter-terrorism strategy is one that will build up the capacity of the central government...". "That is a template that has succeeded in mitigating the threat in Yemen and Somalia". What? Build up the central government? Doesn't Yemen's President fleeing the country in the middle of the night kind of end the central government? Earnest went on to say that the White House was still communicating with the Yemeni government. Which government would that be? My Friends, these people are so divorced from reality, reality should be paying them alimony!
Let's move on to school news. An elementary school in Tennessee threatened to suspend a 7-year old student because they deemed his "high and tight" military style haircut to be a distraction. School policy prohibits any "mohawk or extreme cuts". You be the judge:

The boy, Adam Stinnet, wanted to honor his soldier step-brother with the cut. His mother was told he would have to change the haircut or he wouldn't be allowed back in school. She shaved his head. The irony here is that the school, Bobby Ray Memorial Elementary School, is named after a Medal of Honor winner who was killed in Vietnam. The school's gym bears the name of Spc. Jeremy L. Brown, who was killed in Afghanistan in 2010. So, apparently, they support the military, just not their hairstyle.
Finally, a pro-Hillary Clinton group called HRC Super Volunteers, sent a letter to about 150 media outlets warning them against spreading "any form of sexist news coverage" regarding the former Secretary of State. The group warned that they would be "watching, listening and protesting coded sexism". They were even kind enough to supply a list of "sexist" references. Are you ready?

• Polarizing
• Calculating
• Disingenuous
• Insincere
• Ambitious
• Inevitable
• Entitled
• Over confident
• Secretive
• Will do anything to win
• Represents the past
• Out of touch

Okay, call me crazy, but that reads more like a Hillary Thesaurus than a list of sexist terms! What will they think of next? Enjoy the weekend!

Sway

You're Serious, Right?

Hello People! I'm back from vacation. You're welcome. As I ease back into my pre-vacation routine, I can't help but notice that the crazy train just keeps chugging along. Where to begin?
Let's start here. While the President and his band of merry men continue "historic" nuclear negotiations with Iran, Iran's Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, delivers a speech to his faithful saying, "Of course, death to America"! The White House response? No big deal, The Ayatollah's comments were "intended for a domestic political audience". Excuse me? Apparently, according to the White House, the Supreme Leader was just playing to the crowd. I guess secretly he really loves America and wants to be our partner in peace, right? Right.
Starbucks raised some eyebrows, and some ire, when they decided to write "Race Together" on their coffee cups to "open a discussion about race in America".  What it did was spark outrage. Gee, who could have seen that coming? It did open a discussion on race. Like, why doesn't Starbucks have any black executives? And, why doesn't Starbucks have stores in any black neighborhoods? So, after 5 days of discussion, Starbucks canned the cups. Hey Starbucks, here's a rule of thumb, people come to you for overpriced coffee, not political or cultural insight. Give the people what they want.
Seattle, Washington, proudly took it's place in history as the first city to raise their minimum wage to $15 an hour. Good for you Seattle! The wage hike takes affect on April 1st. There's a problem though. The Seattle Magazine reports that restaurants in The Jet City are closing at a record pace. A spokesman for the Washington Restaurant Association told the Washington Policy Center, "Every operator I'm talking to is in panic mode, trying to figure out what the new world will look like". I can save you the trouble of wondering. It will look something like this:

Good luck with that!

Sway

The Immortal Words of Mark Twain

Hello People. Where have I been? Thank you for asking. I've been banging my little head against the wall. Why? Because this world has gone nuts, seriously nuts, and the crazy seems to be spreading like wildfire! Mark Twain famously said, "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience". Some days, as I scroll through Farcebook, I can actually feel my brain cells dying. Why people, why? Just today I saw a flurry of posts stating that "The President if Iran school Senate Republicans on our Constitution. This, of course, is in response to that stupid letter that 47 Senate Republicans sent to the leaders of Iran. I don't really care which side of the debate you come down on. I do care that you're stupid and aren't afraid to show it. I guarantee that not one person who posted that even knows who the President of Iran is. How do I know that? Because the statement they were all referring to was made by Javad Zarif, the Iranian Foreign Minister. Hassan Rouhani is the President of Iran. Splitting hairs? No. It's another case of people spouting off about something they know nothing about. Don't let the facts get in the way of your outrage people. It's this constant perpetuation of misinformation that dumbs down the entire society. By the way, and with all due respect, sending an open letter to foreign leaders does not, in any way, violate our Constitution. Not that it really matters.
Hillary Clinton used a personal email account during her entire run as Secretary of State. An email, I might add, that was hacked in 2010 by a group with ties to Ukraine. Since this was made public, we've been treated to a host of excuses and reasons why it's a non-issue. It is NOT a non-issue. Excuse #1, Mrs. Clinton was just used to using that account. Really? Because records show that she registered that account in 2009, on the day of her Senate confirmation hearing. It was clearly her intent, from day one, to eliminate any paper trails. Excuse #2, Mrs. Clinton was unaware that a private email account violated department policy. Really?? Beacuse in 2011, the State Department, under Secretary Clinton, issued instructions to all employees not to use personal email accounts or forward department email to personal accounts "which is prohibited by government policy". That directive went on to say that "violators would face disciplinary action". Indeed, in 2012 former Kenyan Ambassador Scott Gration was forced to step down after an Inspector General report criticized him for using personal email for government business. Ridiculous, right? The bottom line is, she knew it was wrong and she did it anyway. It's okay though. No big deal. It's Hillary. Don't even get me started on the President claiming he didn't know anything about it until he saw it on the news. It just never ends.
There's a prisoner, in the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts, suing the Sheriff for a wage increase. The inmate, who is here illegally, says he should be paid the state minimum wage ($9 an hour) for work he does while incarcerated.
A Georgia garbage collector was sentenced to 14 weekends in jail. His crime? He started work too early. Yup. Kevin McGill started his route at 5am. Unfortunately, a city ordinance prohibits trash collection before 7am so, they're sending him to jail. Seems like a bit of an over reaction to me but, hey, who wants ambitious city workers. That'll teach them!
Sway

Random Thoughts, Or Are They?

Hello People. As I watched the captor today, bundled up like an oompa loompa, clearing the latest 8 inches of global warming, I was ready to throw my paws up and shout "I give". But then I thought, you know what, screw you Mother Nature!  Bring it on! It will make the other three seasons that much sweeter! That could have been the catnip talking but it made me feel better.
Anyway, aspiring rapper "Black Madam" is facing a host of charges, including 3rd degree murder, after a 20-year old exotic dancer died during what's known as a 'pumping party'. A pumping party is where people pay for illegal cosmetic surgery. 42-year old Padge Windslowe, apparently known to her clients as "the Michelangelo of Buttock Injections", injected the would-be beauty queen's behind with a mixture of industrial grade silicone and Krazy Glue. Shockingly, it killed her.The victim flew in from Europe, checked into a Philadelphia motel and paid $1800 for the "procedure" after reading about it on line. My question is, is it murder or a voluntary cleansing of the gene pool? You make the call.
35-year old New Jersey high school teacher Nicole DuFault is facing 40 charges aggravated sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child for allegedly having sex with 6 different 14 & 15 year old students, on multiple occasions, at school and in her car. One of the "encounters" was caught on tape, purportedly by another student who was standing nearby. Waiting his turn? I don't know. The single mother of two, who taught language arts for 9 years, claims the boys were the aggressors. Her attorney says, "If the video depicts certain things happening, that doesn't mean my client isn't innocent. People are victimized by juveniles all the time". LOL! Good luck with that defense!
There's an on-going ballyhoo over the President's refusal to refer to the Islamic lunatic terrorists as "Islamic", even though, to the rest of the world, that's exactly who they are. For whatever reason, the President prefers nicknames like "violent extremists", ISIS or ISIL. When the captor was young, she had a friend they called Hambone. She hasn't seen her in over 25 years but she thinks about her every time she makes bean soup. My point is, nicknames have their place. This isn't one of those places. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, Mr. President, it's probably a duck!
Sway

All Aboard the Crazy Train!

Hello People! Once again I've been appointed conductor of the Crazy Train! I've stamped your tickets so get on board!
Shirley MacLaine! Welcome aboard! In her book "What If...", Ms. MacLaine writes; "What if most holocaust victims were balancing their karma from ages before, when they were Roman soldiers putting Christians to death?" Huh? I've read a lot about holocaust victims and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a Roman soldier among them. Ms. MacLaine also muses, "What If Stephen Hawking subconsciously gave himself the ALS he suffers from?" I have an addendum for your book Shirley. What If....you took your meds every day?
Peter Fonda. Take your seat next to Shirley. Fonda called MacLaine "brave" and "courageous" for standing up for her beliefs and going public with them. Brave and courageous? I would have to agree if, by brave and courageous, you mean anti-semitic and nuts.
Cho Hyun-ah! Have a seat. Cho is the former vice president of Korean Air who went nuts over how her nuts were served. As you may recall, back in December, Cho freaked out when a flight attendant served her macadamia nuts in a bag, instead of on a plate. She ordered that the plane be turned around and the attendant be fired. Well Hot Nuts! She's just been sentenced to one year in jail for that mixed bag of crazy!
Kanye West. Just sit down. This is too easy. I'm sure you've seen or heard about Kayne's latest lunacy at the Grammy's. He once again headed up on stage to take the Album of the Year award away from the winner (this time it was Beck, last time Taylor Swift) and give it to it's rightful owner, his Queen, Beyonce. He didn't go through with it this time. Probably because Beck is a guy and he didn't have the balls. Anyway, after his show within a show, he went on to say that Beyonce deserved the award and that Beck "had to respect the artistry". LOL! Beck plays 12 instruments. That's 12 more than Kanye and Beyonce combined. Beck actually sings. Both Kayne and Beyonce are auto tuned and produced. Who needs to respect what, Kayne? You really need to rein in the crazy sir.
Finally, Mr. President, come on down! ISIS is running wild, beheading people and setting them on fire. There is chaos in Lybia, Iraq, Syria and Yemen. What is the President of the United States doing during all of this? Click below.

                                                          Can't make this stuff up
Enjoy the ride!
Sway