Santa Loves Me!

Hello my dear friends. Today, as I'm sure you know, is my Birthday! Yes, I am a Leap Kitty. One would think there would be great celebrations across the land, but NO! So far, aside from some lame platitudes from my captors, there has been little acknowledgement of this rare and historic day. There is ONE exception. Santa Claus. That's right. Santa Claus remembered by Birthday. Observe:
Santa Link
I am special. I knew it! I always knew it! Enjoy my day friends.
Po

Random Thoughts

Hello my dear friends. We'll take the sunshine where ever we can find it! While I was resting in the warm sunlight, several things crossed my mind and I thought I would share them with you. First, my serious thoughts:
->  Those poor kids in Chardon, Ohio. So young, so senseless. My heart breaks for their families. Will this type of insanity ever end?
->  This Country is $15 trillion dollars in debt, growing at a rate of $10 billion a month, and we just spent $750,000 taxpayer dollars to build a soccer field for inmates at Guantanamo Bay. Seriously?
->  A judge just acquitted a Megabus driver of criminally negligent homicide charges for crashing his bus into a bridge, killing four people. The judge also ruled that there was insufficient evidence to convict him of failure to obey a traffic control device. This means, even though he admitted he was fiddling with his GPS at the time of the crash, even though he passed 13 warning signs about the low clearance and, even though his own attorney said he (the driver) "was responsible for a large portion of what happened", Onondaga County Court Judge Anthony Aloi ruled that the bridge, not the driver was to blame. Seriously Judge Aloi, SERIOUSLY?
Okay, on to less serious matters....
->  The new cast of Dancing with the Stars was announced, with much fanfare, on GMA this morning.  Big Freakin deal, right? Geez, you'd think they were announcing the next Pope. I kept watching for the white smoke. Instead, they introduced the likes of Sherrie Shepherd and the dude who played Urkel.
->  There's an ad in the paper for "Chiweenie" puppies.  These, if you're wondering, are a Chihuahua and Dachshund mix. We used to call those Mutts. Now, someone (with way too much time on their hands) makes up a cute name and charges a thousand dollars for them!
->  My captor (Grumpy) has been planning this vacation (blowing off my Birthday) since last September. It's now 4 days away and she has a head cold. Karma? You be the judge. (Just don't be Judge Aloi).
->  Erykah Badu has been banned from performing in Malaysia after a photo of her, showing a temporary tattoo of the Arabic word for Allah, appeared in a Kuala Lumpur newspaper. Muslim groups say she is a bad role model for Malaysian girls. Bad role model? How about bad singer? Right move, wrong reason.
Po

It's Oscar Night

Hello my dear friends. Well, the big night has arrived. The night when America's over privileged gather together to honor themselves. Oh what a grand affair! Hundreds of millions of dollars spent to show the world just how ostentatious Hollywood can be. We will all be on the edge of our seats as the most critical question gets asked and answered again and again; "who are you wearing"! Armed guards stand at the ready as our "American Royalty" stroll the red carpet in millions of dollars is borrowed jewelry (because even they wouldn't pay such outrageous prices). Twitter is on fire. Facebook is blowing up. What could be better? Of course, the acceptance speeches! Can't wait for those. Then, tomorrow, we can all bask in the afterglow as we are treated to the pictures of all of the after parties! So much to look forward to. I really must get to it. After all, the pre-show red carpet extravaganza is only 90 minutes this year. By the way, Sasha Baron Cohen did show up in his "Dictator" costume. He was allowed to walk the red carpet even after the Oscar folks said they wouldn't allow it. Ooh, even more drama. All is well with the world.
Po

Perspective

Hello my dear friends.  Life is really what you make it. I overheard the captors today talking about perspective. We're getting pounded with snow here in Central New York today. It's been a very mild winter so today cuts both ways. We're lucky because this is really the worst day we've had all winter and it's the end of February. That's good news. But, because we've had such a mild winter, today seems even worse. So the captors went with this....
We are here

In just one week, we will be here...

Not that bad after all! Life is funny that way.
Po

Taxes? What Taxes?

Hello my dear friends. Well, it's that time of year again. The time where (some) humans gather together their W2's and 1040's and their proof of deductions, etc. to satisfy the Taxman.  I say "some" because, according to the latest numbers, 49.5% of Americans pay NO federal income tax. That's okay though, I'm sure you don't mind paying your, their and everyone else's fair share. You're such good people! Pat yourself on the back because in addition to the approximate 15% of your income that you pay to the Gubmint, there's also the approximate 10% in payroll taxes and, of course, the state, local property (city & county), school, water/sewer, sales, luxury, excise, estate, gift (Have I left out any taxes?). You get my point. Now, I'm just a Kitty, an extraordinary Kitty, but a Kitty none the less. I really think you may be going about this tax thing all wrong. So, I thought I'd make you feel better by letting you there apparently is a better way. So here are some facts (according to the Federal Budget Office) that should make you feel better.
Between 2008 and 2010 General Electric made $10.5 billion is US profits, paid $0 in Federal taxes and managed to collect $4.7 billion in tax rebates.
During that same period Wells Fargo earned $49 billion, paid $0 taxes and collected 680 million in rebates.
Some other notables...Verizon made $32 billion, got $12 billion is subsidies and $950 million in rebates! PG&E (2008-2010) paid an effective tax rate on (negative) -21%. Corning paid an effective rate of (negative) -4%. Mattel (negative) -9%. DuPont (negative) -3.4% while collecting $72 million in rebates and Boeing (negative) -1.8% on $10 billion in domestic profits. So, you see my friends, you're going about it all wrong. What you need to do is hire yourself a Lobbyist or two. Trust me, it could save you BILLIONS!
Enjoy the weekend!
Po

Settling a Score

Hello people. Yes, my beauty is deep and everlasting. Let's move on. We've all had issues with our family or friends. It happens. There are all kinds of people in this world and we all handle disagreements and disappointment differently. Some people let you have it, let it all out, and get on with living. Some people take a cooling off period and then carry on as if nothing happened. Some people carry these preceived wrongs around with them for ever. Which type of person do you think the author of this obituary was?

LOL! Nothing compares to a Mother's love!
Sway

Seriously? It's Come to This?

Hello my dear friends. I swear, sometimes you people exhaust me! You humans have become so hyper sensitive that saying anything to anyone about anything will inevitably offend someone! I really think ESPN, and now MSG have gone completely overboard. New York Knicks' radio personality Spero Dedes has been "disciplined" (but not fired) by MSG and ESPN fired a headline writer for using the term "chink in the armor" when referring to flaws with New York Knicks' sensation Jeremy Lin. There was an outcry that the phrase was racially insensitive and offensive. Excuse me? I understand that the word, if used to describe an Asian American, is offensive. But the phrase "chink in the armor", for the record, originates from the Middle Ages and has been used figuratively sine the 1600's. It is a common sports cliche. It refers to weakness not ethnicity. Are we so desperate to be "Politically Correct" that we are now dissecting common phrases to look for hidden racial meaning? It's ridiculous and, quite frankly, counterproductive. I am a huge advocate of thinking before you speak, but really? The next time you wake up at "the crack of dawn" do you have to make sure there are no Dawn's around before you tell anyone? Can you no longer refer to "broad daylight" when their are women around? No more "green with envy" around the Irish, Eco-friendly or frogs! Can we even say frogs? What if there are people of French descent in the area? I, personally, am not fond of the tern "catty" being defined as malicious, but you don't see me firing people for it! My point here people is simple; For the love of Pete LIGHTEN THE *%$((&%@##^** UP! Sorry Pete!
Po

Angry Birds? Angry People!

Hello people. Yes, my beauty overwhelms the senses. Let's move on. Is it just me or are people, in general, growing angrier? At first I thought, and rightfully so, that people were just plain rude, but now I believe they may be acting more out of anger and frustration than just bad manners. What, I asked myself, could possibly be making people so angry. It's been a pretty decent winter so, it can't be the weather. The entertainment media has mercifully stopped obsessing over Jersey Shore so it can't be "Situation" overload. The Girl Scout cookies have arrived so the "Tagalong" issue is solved. MSG is back on Time Warner so we can all go Lin-sane. (And they say you shouldn't put MSG on anything! What do "they" know) Sorry. What could it be? The price of gasoline is headed north of $4 a gallon and probably higher. That could be a factor. Then I read an article in the local paper that told the story of two deputies at the county jail who are padding their pensions by working hundreds of hours of overtime leading up to their retirement. These guys are working so hard they're even putting in overtime while on vacation and on sick days, doubling their base pay and raising their pensions to more than what their actual salaries are. One guy actually put in 101 hours in one week! (that's 14.42 hours a day for 7 days if you're keeping score at home). I'll bet he was bright eyed and bushy tailed by the end of that run! But that can't be making people angry because their Union Rep clearly stated that they had earned the right to do just that and people should lighten. The fact that, because of their age, they'll probably be collecting that inflated pension for more years than they actually worked shouldn't be a problem either because "That's the way it works". Then I read an article in the New York Post that outlined the dramatic increase in people filing for (and receiving) Social Security Disability. It's really strange but it seems people who have exhausted their 99 weeks of unemployment insurance are going mad! That's right. More than 10.5 million people received disability checks in January. (that's 5.3% of the entire population ages 25-64). Among those, 43% claimed mental illness as their disability. About 2 million of those claims were paid out to spouses and children of the aforementioned disabled worker, to the tune of about $200 million taxpayer dollars a year. This surely can't be making people angry because there is an upside! Once you go on disability, you're no longer considered unemployed! That means the unemployment numbers will continue to go down! Lower unemployment numbers means the future is rosy. So, that can't possibly be the problem. I KNOW! It must be the question of "who should pay for birth control"! That's why they've been debating that so much! It's making people really angry.
Sway

Washington's Birthday

Hello my dear friends. Today is the Federal recognition of America's first President George Washington. You may be saying, 'No, PoKitty, it's President's Day' but the fact of the matter is, it isn't. America has been celebrating George Washington's birthday (which is actually February 22nd) since he was in office (1789-1797), before Abraham Lincoln (February 12, 1809) was even born. As a matter of fact, they tried to legally change the name of the Holiday to "President's Day" in 1968 but Congress voted it down. In the 1980's, advertisers dubbed the day "President's Day" and it stuck. As true American Patriots we honor these men by taking the day off work and scarfing up big sales at Walmart. I heard a "Pundit" today saying that today, President's Day, was a day set aside to honor all Presidents. Wrong again. Far be it from me to tell you not to raise a glass (or run out and buy new sheets) in honor of Ronald Reagan today. That's your call. But, this day was designated to honor the father of our Country, George Washington. I know, I know, I catch a lot of flack for correcting people's misunderstanding of history, after all, who really cares, right? Well, I care! So, in honor of Washington's Birthday here are a few fun facts.
George Washington never went to college.
He was the only President unanimously elected. He served 2 terms
He was not affiliated with any political party. Washington opposed the idea of political parties.
He had no children. (He had 2 step children and 2 step grandchildren)
There were 13 States in the Union when Washington took office and 18 when he left.
Enjoy the day!
Po

Away They Go Again!

Hello my dear friends. Well, here we go again. Every time my birthday rolls around, out pop the suitcases! I used to think I was going on a lovely birthday trip but, over the years I've learned that the captors are going on a lovely trip and I am stuck in prison with a hired guard! Sway and I are determined not to be forgotten on these trips so we make an effort to leave our fur everywhere possible.

I hope we didn't miss anything! Mt birthday, by the way, is February 29th. That's right, I'm a leap Kitty. I'll be 12 this year. Impressive, I know.Will there be a party? A wonderful celebration of my being? A gathering of family and friends? No! Apparently the captors are a little too busy with their own self indulgent little lives to take time out to celebrate the wonderfulness that is me! But that's ok. I'll have the last laugh...
Po

Know Your Place

Hello my dear friends. I love when you humans know your place or station in life. I saw this license plate today!

LOL! There's a person who knows what's up. Thanks for warning us in advance!
I also found this quite amusing. What do you see in the picture below?

If you said anything other than a puppy sleeping, you need to stay off the internet for a while! Enjoy the weekend!
Po

Drop that Banana Missy!

Hello my dear friends. Have you heard the one about the Gubmint Food Police shaking down the 4-year old? I swear, you humans never cease to amaze me! Talk about the inmates running the asylum. In case you haven't heard, a 4-year old North Carolina preschooler was told by a state employee (food officer) that the lunch her mother packed for her was not nutritious. She was instead given a prepared school lunch and told to bring her brown bag food back home.  The problem here is that the lunch Mom packed consisted of a turkey and cheese sandwich, a banana, a bag of chips and apple juice. The prepared school lunch featured CHICKEN NUGGETS! How dare that careless, borderline abusive mother sends her 4-year old to school with a turkey sandwich! What was she thinking! Thank goodness that North Carolina has the foresight to send inspectors into preschools to make sure these uncaring parents aren't stuffing their impressionable children full of low fat protein! Where would you humans be if it weren't for the watchful eye of your Gubmint! To make matters worse, this ridiculous mother claims she gave her daughter a turkey sandwich and a banana because she was a picky eater (right!) and she wanted to make sure she would actually eat her lunch. Who ever heard of young children being picky eaters! Everyone knows (especially the Gubmint) that kids will eat anything you put in front of them! Especially vegetables! What a bunch of Goobers! So, for the edification of that North Carolina mom and anyone else who thinks they know better what to feed their children that the Gubmint does, read and learn!
Turkey sandwich on white bread - 90 calories; 7 grams of fat; 19 grams of protein
Chicken Nuggets - 80 calories, 16 grams of fat; 11 grams of protein.
Do the math people! Obviously the....wait a minute here.  Never mind!
Po
Here's a link to the article
Food Police

Hey, You Need to Know!

Hello People. Keats wrote "A thing of beauty is a joy forever", thus I am a joy forever. Let's move on. The following chart was sent to me by one of my many, many fans. We call him "the boy". I feel it contains information you, as lowly captors, may need to know. Read on:

Now, discuss.
Sway

Inbred Cat!

Hello people. Yes, I am every Kitty, it's all in me. Let's move on. I am so obviously a purebred kitty. My beauty speaks for itself! The practice of allowing the inbreeding of captives has gone too far. It must end immediately! Tell me if this isn't the Worse case of an inbred Kitty you've ever seen!

Later!
Sway

Whitney

Hello my dear friends. Well, another celebrity lost too soon. Whitney Houston dies at 48 after and long, and unsuccessful battle with drug addiction. Whitney Houston had a gift. Her voice set the bar for a generation. She was the talent all other aspired to be. Now she's gone. Her music and legacy will live on but with a footnote. Drugs took her career and then they took her life. It's so sad. It isn't easy being famous. Everything you do, everything you say is exaggerated, is bigger than you. I make no excuses for celebrities behaving badly. All jobs come with stress and there are certainly jobs far more stressful than pop sensation. Police office comes to mind. In the end you are responsible for your own actions. The greatest fear or pressure for celebrities is losing that fame and Whitney is, unfortunately, a prime example of that. Her voice was damaged by the drugs. Her star was fading. Her struggle to regain the magic that once set her so high above the rest ultimately led to her destruction. She leaves behind an 18 year old daughter who has already faced her own battle with her demons. Now, she'll deal with the loss of her mother. A tragedy indeed. So, Rest In Peace Whitney Houston. I hope you now find the peace you couldn't find here.
Po

More Damn Gnomes

Hello. Yes, my beauty makes you weak. Let's move on. I know The Princess revealed several of the captors hidden celebrity gnome photos to you earlier in the week. I also know the goober never told you who they were! So, if you're still wondering (and why wouldn't you be) the previous photos (still available in the archives) were Jerome-Jerome the Party Gnome (yes that is his name) and Yolanda Vega; Jennifer Nettles, Denny Terrio, Random Nun at a baseball game, Will Lee, R & B band Flash something, Al Sharpton, Marvin Hamlish, Carol Channing, Glen Beck, Kevin Sharp and Harry Casey (KC of KC and the Sunshine Band). Now, I went pawing (pun intended) through the captors crap and I found the following photos.

 Maureen McGovern

 American Idol runner up Danny Gokey

America's Most Wanted host John Walsh

And, my personal favorite...Toby Keith! Red solo cup, I chew you up, let's have a party! Toby Rocks! One little bit of Gnome Trivia. Jerome-Jerome was wearing a Buffalo Bills Jersey when he met Toby and Toby refused to pose with him until it was removed. Seems Mr. Keith is a devoted Tennessee Titans fan. Just goes to show you that nobody's perfect! Later
Sway

Who doesn't love the TSA

Hello my dear friends. Great news! Apparently the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) has determined that strip searching 5 year olds and making grandma drop her depends may not be making our airports safer after all! Wow! What a revelation! They've determined that treating every passenger as a suspected terrorist may actually be causing unnecessary delays. Genius! So, after much deliberation, study and reflection they have come up with the "Pre-Check", a new program that allows pre-screened fliers to go through a dedicated or "easy pass" lane where they wouldn't have to removed their shoes, belts, jackets, etc. They can leave their 3-1-1 liquids, laptops, etc. in their carry on bags and basically breeze through the check point. Sounds great, right? LOL. It's a government program! So, all you have to do to join the "I'm not a terrorist" club is fill out an application and submit it with a $100 dollar (non-refundable) payment.  After your check clears you will be notified as to whether or not you qualify for the program. If you don't, well, sucks to be you. If you do, you'll submit to a series of security questions, a background check, finger prints and the like. If you pass that, you'll be given a date for a face to face interview a customs agent. If you clear all of these steps you will be deemed "not a terrorist" for the next 5 years! I'm beside myself with joy! Of course, for the rest of us, who don't fly often enough to fork over $100 to keep our shoes on, well, we'll just have to live with the stigma that we may still be considered a threat at airports, and be treated accordingly. On the upside, if enough people opt for the fast track it may make the slow track quicker for the rest of us! You have to love the TSA!
Po

Red Lobster or Jail: You Choose

hello my dear friends. Sometimes I read a news story that just makes me roll! A 47-year old man in Plantation, Florida was arrested for domestic abuse. After reviewing the case, the judge deemed the "abuse" wasn't all that bad and decided on a rather odd punishment. A little background. According to the wife's complaint, she and her husband were fighting after he forgot to wish her a happy birthday. During the dispute he shoved her and she fell on to the couch. She was not injured. He had no criminal record and no history of abuse. The judge didn't feel the incident warranted jail time so the judge ordered him to stop somewhere and buy flowers, get dressed up, pick up his wife and take her to Red Lobster for dinner, followed by an evening of bowling. If he didn't follow the sentence on every detail he would be sent to jail! Two things come to mind. First, what are the chances their house doesn't have wheels on it? Second, am I the only one who would rather go to jail than to Red Lobster and Bowling? You make the call.
Po

Now I really have heard it all!

Hello my dear friends. When it comes to strange things you humans do, I really thought I had heard it all but, once again, you never cease to amaze me! The newest trend in "beloved pet preservation" is Freeze Drying! You read that right. People are have their departed captives FREEZE DRIED! What is wrong with you people! We're not coffee beans for pete's sake! I swear, you're all NUTS! Here's the spiel:

Through the use of new techniques in freeze dry technology, we can offer a "Loving and Lasting" alternative to burial cremation or traditional taxidermy. Freeze-dry pet preservation creates a lasting memorial and more importantly, preserves your pet in a natural state thereafter, without any alteration in appearance. This allows pet owners to see, touch and hold their pets, and in a sense, "never have to let go." Best of all, freeze-dry pet preservation results in the preservation of your pet's actual, physical body. 

I should not have to tell you how wrong that is! I understand how empty your sad little lives will be without us but get a grip people! Trust me when I tell you that, if that was done to me, I would haunt you until you breathed your last breath and then, I would haunt your family and friends! Assuming, of course, that someone who had freeze dried pets around the house would have any family or friends left. People, when we're gone, let us go. No stuffing, ash preserving, or, for the love of God, no freeze drying! By the way, for those of you who believe you can't put a price on memories, apparently you can!

Pet Preservation Freeze Dry Technology for a 7-10 pound pet is $775.00 (special poses are extra) and, if your captive tips the scales at 10 pounds or more, add a mere $60 per pound! Priceless, really. So, to recap...

You tear us away from our Mamas, bring us to your prison where, if we're lucky, we're held captive for a decade or more. And, when we finally achieve to sweet freedom of death, you pack us in ice and ship us to West Virginia where we're frozen in time, repackage and shipped back to you. Okay. You're all going to Hell. Seriously, straight to Hell. Freeze dried pets! Good grief!

Po

Another Superbowl Sunday

Hello my dear friends. Another Superbowl Sunday has arrived and, as like every Superbowl Sunday since 1994, my beloved Buffalo Bills are spectators. The good news is that they were able to purchase great seats because they didn't have to wait, like most teams, for the outcome of the season. They were able to purchase their tickets back in November! So at least they'll enjoy the game. I, on the other paw, will just do what comes naturally, cheer against the patriots. Enjoy the day people. We'll get 'em next year.....
Go Giants!
Po

What's with all these Gnomes!

Hello my dear friends. I was strolling through the prison today and this place is full of gnomes! I don't know exactly when they migrated from the garden, where they belong, to the prison but they're everywhere! I did a quick count and there are 37 gnomes in this place. 37 GNOMES! What is that all about? I mean, I know these captors are weird. Everybody knows that. But this is really over the top. Who has 37 gnomes in their house? Who has any gnomes in their house? We were all concerned when the captors starting accosting celebrities with that damn gnome. Check this out...

How many of these folks can you identify? That's not even all of them. It's a strange hobby indeed but it does keep them out of trouble. The only celebrity to ever refuse to pose with the gnome (a bit of gnome trivia for you) was Charo. Seriously, Charo. I know, we're still laughing about it too!
Po

Lighten Up, Right?

Hi everyone. It's me, Anya. I've had a rough few days. First there was the Fun Mama scare. She's fine but when Aunt Hand was here taking care of us she put me out and almost left me there! That's right, I'm outside waiting at the back door when I hear the side door open and close. I had to run to the gate and shout "Hey, you forgot the dog"! Good thing I caught her. I could have been out there for hours and, as you may have heard, we have a skunk issue here. Anyway, crisis averted. Then today I was lying on my pillow munching on some tasty mail that was just sitting on the table when mean Mama walked in and blew a gasket! She mumbled something about taxes and threatened to punch me in the snout! (she didn't) but she bopped me in the head with the mail and called me the "worst dog ever". Worst dog ever? I don't think so! First of all, that mail had been sitting on the table for three days so they clearly were not going to eat it. I saw a movie once where the dog ate the people! I'm thinking that was probably the worst dog ever. Would the worst dog ever have their own bed at Grandma's house. I don't think so. Would the worst dog ever have this cool stuffed thing...

Again, I don't think so. Or, would the worst dog ever have their own Yankees Championship Hat?

I doubt it. My point is, I got skunked, forgotten outside and punished for chewing on some mail that, may I remind you, was just sitting there. My life is not easy. Poor me, right? Poor freakin me.
Anya