Lighten Up, Right?

Hi everyone. It's me, Anya. I've had a rough few days. First there was the Fun Mama scare. She's fine but when Aunt Hand was here taking care of us she put me out and almost left me there! That's right, I'm outside waiting at the back door when I hear the side door open and close. I had to run to the gate and shout "Hey, you forgot the dog"! Good thing I caught her. I could have been out there for hours and, as you may have heard, we have a skunk issue here. Anyway, crisis averted. Then today I was lying on my pillow munching on some tasty mail that was just sitting on the table when mean Mama walked in and blew a gasket! She mumbled something about taxes and threatened to punch me in the snout! (she didn't) but she bopped me in the head with the mail and called me the "worst dog ever". Worst dog ever? I don't think so! First of all, that mail had been sitting on the table for three days so they clearly were not going to eat it. I saw a movie once where the dog ate the people! I'm thinking that was probably the worst dog ever. Would the worst dog ever have their own bed at Grandma's house. I don't think so. Would the worst dog ever have this cool stuffed thing...

Again, I don't think so. Or, would the worst dog ever have their own Yankees Championship Hat?

I doubt it. My point is, I got skunked, forgotten outside and punished for chewing on some mail that, may I remind you, was just sitting there. My life is not easy. Poor me, right? Poor freakin me.
Anya