Aliens Among Us!

Hello my dear friends. I'm taking refuge from a possible alien abduction. You just never know when or where it can happen! By alien, I mean extraterrestrial not undocumented. It seems "actress" Fran Drescher claims she was abducted by aliens when she was in junior high school! There's the missing piece to that puzzle. I'm guessing her alien implant was placed in her sinus cavity. Drescher (in an apparent attempt to remain relevant) not only says she was abducted, she says her ex-husband was too (before they met). She can now join the likes of musician Sammy Hagar and former President Jimmy Carter. How's that for a dinner party? Whatever. I have no doubt there is life out there somewhere but this got me to thinking. If there are aliens out there, flying around and plucking up unsuspecting earthlings, what must they think of us? I mean, really. Think about the people you've seen who have claimed to be abducted, probed and released. Not exactly the cream of the earthly crop, if you know what I mean. Why are they always landing in swamps, corn fields and dirt roads? If they're smart enough to get here you would think they could read a map. The fact that they've been probing Bubba, Billy Bob and Fran has to lead them to believe they could take us with very little effort, so what are they waiting for? Or, is it possible that they are plucking up these people for their own entertainment? "Hey Xenoid, grab that one and put him in the maze"! "Jam that pen up his nose (or whatever) so he'll have something to tell his friends". They might be laughing their antennae off! If this is they case, I have a few suggestions for our extraterrestrial friends.
#1  Gary Bussey
#2  Kanye West
#3  Ron Paul
#4  Harold Camping (the end of the world guy)
#5  The entire cast of The Jersey Shore
Hours of entertainment. Just hours and hours...Just one thing aliens. You really need to keep what you take. No more returns! Thank you.
Po