Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President and Members of Congress,
I am really growing tired of your inability to accomplish anything. All of this talk about the "fiscal cliff" is incredibly irritating. In case you haven't noticed, we've been sliding down the side of that cliff for years now. Apparently none of you do your own grocery shopping, put gas in your cars or subscribe to cable TV. Now we stand on the precipice of the largest tax increase since World War II. As you sit back and debate tax increases on "the wealthiest Americans" our national debt increases 4 BILLION dollars a DAY! This gubmint borrows, on average, 2 million dollars per MINUTE! The amount of gubmint waste is mind boggling. The Department of Health and Human Services has just announced a 500 Million Dollar Program that will, among other things, seek to solve the problem of 5-year old children who "Can't sit still" in a kindergarten classroom. And now, Mr. President, you have the audacity, the gall, the unmitigated arrogance to propose PAY RAISES for the Vice President, Congress and Federal Workers! You, Sir, are the epitome of what is wrong with this country. Maybe you don't know or maybe you just don't care but you are the reason people are so angry. You and your fellow politicians are so out of touch, so blind to what is happening right in front of you, that I am frightened. While the hard working people of America faces a tax increase of $200 a month, you're discussing raising your own pay. Who does that!?! You were elected (not by me) to protect the people of this country, not profit from them. You stand in front of the TV cameras and go on and on about how much you care about the people and how you're trying to do what's best. You're such a hypocrite. This ridiculous "tax on the wealthiest Americans", making the "rich" pay their "fair share" so you can take their hard earned money and give it to millionaire Congressmen who sit on their A$$ES and do nothing! You want to give pay raises to federal workers while your policies are putting private sector workers on the unemployment line by the millions. What is wrong with you? Are you really that clueless? So, Mr. President and members of Congress I say to you, ENOUGH! Stop threatening me with your self-created fiscal cliff. You are the one who crafted and approved this doomsday spending plan. Why would you do that? Now, when your bluff is called, you say it's not your fault. Well, it is your fault. You did this and now it's time, for once, to be the Leader you were elected (not by me) to be. Stop all of this game playing, bickering and threats. Stop wasting our money on nonsense. Cut out this useless spending. STOP borrowing money we can never repay. Stop pretending to compromise and start actually negotiating. I know that a $200 a month tax increase means nothing to you and yours. That's why you want to raise the pay of your minions. So they won't revolt! Mr. President, I can't afford a $200 a month tax increase. I simply can't. I won't be getting a pay raise next year. I didn't get one this year, last year or the year before. You are making it impossible for me to live. Do you understand? Do you care? You are making it impossible for me to make ends meet. I don't have an extra $200 a month and I don't know many people who do. Please Stop this Insanity! Don't make me come to Washington!
Po

A Time for Reflection

Hello my dear friends. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. With the new year right around the corner, now is the time that many of you create your list of "resolutions" for the coming year. I, for one, do not make new year's resolutions. I believe making resolutions creates unnecessary pressure and, in the end, sets you up to fail. I don't know about you but I have more than enough opportunities to fail throughout the year without inventing new challenges. How many times can we resolve to lose weight, exercise more, save money and spend more time with family and friends? So, my dear friends, I propose that, instead of resolutions, we reflect on a series of soul searching questions, the answers to which will make us better people without the possibility of failure.
Question #1  What can I do to make myself better in the new year?
Question #2  What one thing can I do to enrich the lives of those around me?
Question #3  What luxury do I regularly indulge in that I can really live without?
Question #4  What is one thing I've always wanted to do but can never seem to find the time?
Question #5  What can I do, right now, to break my old routine and start moving forward?
These questions, obviously, are designed to make self improvement possible. If you're looking more for self awareness than self improvement your first question should center around why you're even reading this blog. Anyway, to make your journey a little easier, I've provided my answers to the questions above.
Answer #1  This took much reflection as I am already pretty freaking awesome. I need to be kinder to those I deem, well, stupid. I can be more patient with the intellectually challenged.
Answer #2  Again, difficult, as I already write this blog. How much more enrichment do you people need? I could be more sympathetic to the troubles of my friends and family.
Answer #3  I may enjoy gambling a bit too much. I can reduce the amount of money I put into my "play account" by 20%.
Answer #4  My much anticipated first book continues to collect dust. I can try to get my ADHD under control and focus a little more.
Answer #5  I can stop turning on the television as soon as I get home.
There you have it. I've outlined a plan to help me make 2013 a little better than 2012. I don't have a deadline. I don't have set goals. I have a workable plan for self improvement. No stress. No chance for failure. Just a few simple questions that I now have the answers to. Happy New Year!
Po

Another Year Over...

Well hello my dear friends! It has been awhile. I must say that these past few months have been crazy around this prison. There just never seems to be enough hours in the day but, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Anyway, as I was sitting here this morning, enjoying a little nip, I began reflecting on 2012 and how fast it seemed to go. Some much tragedy; the recent horror in Newtown, CT, the terrorist killings of our Ambassador and three others in Benghazi, 396 US Military Personnel killed overseas,  Hurricane Sandy, the reelection of Obama, the million dollar GSA Las Vegas party scandal, the Buffalo Bills, Honey Boo Boo, the list goes on and on. There were good times as well. The recent Mayan "mea culpa", big wins for US Olympians in London, NASA landed the Curiosity Rover on Mars, again, the list goes on and on. We are about to be bombarded by the "Best Of" and "Worst Of" 2012 reviews. This gives the media a chance to tell the rest of us "lesser informed and enlightened" folks what is really important and what isn't. After all, if it weren't for Barbara Walters, I, personally, would not have known that Honey Boo Boo, Seth MacFarlane and Kristen Stewart were fascinating. I always thought they were irrelevant and, well, goofy! It's amazing what you can learn from the media! Because so much of our lives are actually "staged" by the media now, and by "staged" I mean that they release information, not when they learn it, but when they think it will have the greatest impact. A perfect example this year was the General David Petraeus scandal. It had been going on for years. The media knew and they had the proof weeks before the story was released. Why? Because it would have been politically inconvenient to release it sooner. The delay didn't change the story but it did change the way we viewed it. This is the world we live in now. Perception is reality. "Reality TV" is anything but, criminals are touted as heroes if they can catch a football or hit a baseball, the most powerful politicians in the world lie with impunity and the "News Media" now gives us their opinion on what they think we need to know. Parents today have the hardest job of any generation before them. I would not want to be in their shoes. Many of our senior citizens are struggling to survive, more and more families are going hungry, hard working blue collar people continue to watch their jobs disintegrate, the price of food, housing and education continue to skyrocket, and the beat goes on. So my friends, I say to you, let's start turning this thing around, one cat at a time! Here is my challenge to you for 2013. Help where you are able. I know we all talk about it. Many of us do it already. But this time, beginning on January 1, 2013, let's really make it happen. Check on your neighbor, especially on days like today. That little kid down the street, the one running around it a thin little jacket when it's 20 degrees, put a warm winter coat in a box on their door step. Bring a box of canned good to the food pantry, not just on Thanksgiving and Christmas, once a month if you can. Make Random Acts of Kindness less random. Don't throw out those perfectly good clothes that don't fit. Take them to the Goodwill. If you've just retired, "Dress for Success" is a great organization that redistributes gently used business suits to women in need, trying to get into the work force. Take part in at least one charity fundraiser in 2013. Don't wait to be asked. In 2013, let's all take the initiative and see what a difference we can make. There are brighter days ahead for us all! Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, Generous New Year!
Much Love,
Po

Dear Santa

Hello my dear friends. I have a rare treat for you! Every year my captor, who is a goober, writes an actual letter to Santa! I know, right? Anyway, I managed to snatch a copy of this year's masterpiece. Read on...

Dear Santa,

As you know, I have been exceptionally good this year. In light of this, I'm sure you'll agree that I should be generously rewarded! Since it has become clear that you are incapable of delivering a Buffalo Bills playoff berth or even a decent quarterback, I've compiled the following list of choices for you. If it's not too much trouble I'd like you to select at least two things from the "really need" category and at least one thing from the "really want" category. You'll note that I have not, as in years past, included any references to your family, elves or "reindeer as the other white meat". I hope this clears up any misunderstandings about "perceived threats" that apparently prevented you from fulfilling my requests in the past. With that said, I really need a 4-cup measuring cup; a set of metal mixing bowls; a functional pepper grinder; a decent pair of driving gloves; Nike golf balls; new Yankees apparel; one of those cool mini pie makers. I really want a Nikon Coolpix S4100 digital camera (any color); single bottle wine chiller; a new wine fridge; a bigger TV for my bar; a sound bar w/ woofer for the big screen. Good luck Santa! I'm counting on you!

I told you she was a goober! 

Po

What Else I Want for Christmas

Dear Santa,
Could you please us someone or something to replace the "reality star" or "celebritard". This Country's fascination with these people is really distorting our sense of success and decaying our moral fiber. I realize that this is an extremely large request so, if you just start with a few, like Honey Boo Boo, Octomom, the Kardashians and anyone associated with Jersey Shore, that would be a good start. Also, any celebrity whose criminal record is longer than their acting credits. Lindsay Lohan comes to mind. I'm pretty sure that any of the aforementioned could be replaced with something shiny, like tinsel or a disco ball. I, personally, find tinsel far more interesting than Snookie. I also believe that the disco ball has added far more to our culture than Honey Boo Boo. So Santa, my plan is to have you replace, say, 25 of these warts on the butt of society each year, the next generation could be free of narcissistic fame whores. Wouldn't that be something! That would give them plenty of free time to focus on the "actual news" you'll also be bringing.  Good luck Santa. We're all counting on you!
PoKitty

What I Want for Christmas

Hello my dear friends. It has been awhile. As you know, the captor broke her paw, so it has been a little difficult for me to get her to open up the laptop. But, I'm here now to start my new series "Things I Want for Christmas".
Dear Santa,
The first thing I need is actual news. Could you please help me with this. I can no longer suffer through this barrage of opinion and idiocy that now passes for news. I'm starving for one simple, untainted source of accurate, unbiased information. I don't want to "go to our website" for details on a story. I don't want to hear what "GrannyFromGeddes" posted on your facebook page. I don't care what's "Trending on Twitter". I want facts. 20 thousand people commenting on an event does not make that event news worthy. Yes, I understand that it's all about the ratings. I have "news" for you. Inserting pictures of a viewers cat into your "newscast" does not increase ratings. It lowers IQs. If you want to increase your ratings, try offering some content worth watching. Also, including at least one anchor/reporter who actually understands what they're reporting would be helpful. The other day, as I suffered through 30 minutes of "local news" the "Big" story was about the kids from the TV show Two and a Half Men making a YouTube video telling people not to watch the show. First of all, that's not news, it's entertainment at best, but it became the lead story. The trouble is the anchor kept referring to the actor as "Agnes T. Jones" instead of "Angus T. Jones". You would think that after the first THREE times he did it, someone would have corrected him, but no. That same anchor does his entire newscast from an iPad and continually refers to it, "Checking the iPad now", "According to the iPad". I understand how trade deals work but seriously, buy a damn iPad and spare us the constant product placement. It's supposed to be a newscast not a 30 minute infomercial. In the past year I've heard "Reporters" say things like "according to facebook" or "according to their website". Are you kidding me? When a reporters first thought is check the internet all hope is lost. Maybe you're not aware of this but sometimes things on the internet are not true. Seriously. Sometimes people just make stuff up. It happens! So Santa, if at all possible, could you bring me, bring us all, a little actual news. It really could make this world a better place. Thank you
PoKitty

Not All Speech is Free

Hello my dear friends. More and more lately we hear talk of a growing assault on our First Amendment rights. The First Amendment guarantees, in part that 'Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech'. This "protection" has been challenged countless times with varying results. I'm not going to give you a constitutional law lecture here. I think you know what I'm talking about. But, bear with me for a moment. More times than not, when you hear someone shouting about their First Amendment rights, it's because they've said something outrageous and are being called on the carpet over it. Not all speech is protected, as you know. This is where the oft misquoted words of Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. is generally inserted, about not falsely shouting fire in a crowded theater to cause panic. There is no, or limited, protection for inciting, provocative or offensive speech. Each of those categories are, of course, open to interpretation and context. I'm sure you've heard the quote "I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to death your right to say it". I sure that when Evelyn Beatrice Hall (yup, that's who actually said it) wrote that in 1906 she never imagined what some people would feel comfortable saying in public. In my humble opinion, incendiary speech cloaked in the First Amendment is eroding our society at a rapidly increasing rate. A case on point happened yesterday and today on a Syracuse radio station. The topic of conversation was the Syracuse Common Council's vote to amend the current Fair Practices Law banning discrimination to include "actual or perceived sex, or their gender identity or expression", effectively protecting transgendered citizens from discrimination. The host of the show disagreed with this decision and used his First Amendment protection to express his displeasure. Using terms like "HeShe", "Johnny who thinks he's a Janey", he went on a extended rant as to why discrimination is not only right but warranted. He went on to say that if the "HeShe" still "had his wang" he shouldn't be allowed in places like a female restroom. Let me be very clear on this. People have a right to their opinion. It's how they choose to express that opinion is what I object to. This radio host that I speak of has a long, and unchecked, history of using racist and homophobic slurs on the air. As a matter of fact, he was so proud of that particular rant, that he used it in an ad for his show that ran on-air all day today.   Using terms like "HeShe" or "Queer", calling transgendered people "Freaks" and "Perverts" not only shows a profound ignorance but also gives reinforcement to the haters of the world. It helps to bring hate into the mainstream. It's hurtful and destructive. Using it for "entertainment value" is morally repugnant. People who do this, like the people who support and protect them, lower the quality of life for us all. There is no place for it in a civilized society. Is it protected speech? Perhaps it is. This is where the law ends and character should begin. Whether you agree or disagree with the subject, we all need to stand up against the language.  Just because you can say something doesn't mean you should.
Po

Quit Your Freakin' Whining!

Hello people. You are really ticking me off! So, highly skilled Walmart workers from across the country are planning a protest on Thanksgiving and Black Friday. They're going to walk off the job because they don't think it's fair to have to work on Thanksgiving. Are you kidding me? Let me enlighten you. Radio, television, newspapers, military, police, fire, doctors, nurses, hospital and ER personnel, bus drivers, cab drivers, nursing home workers, athletes, parking lot attendants, restaurant workers, farmers, truckers, pilots, airline and airport personnel and countless others work on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and every holiday in between. Do you think they want to? NO. They have to work because their job requires it. Now, your job requires it to. I realize that highly skilled positions, like Walmart cashier, will be hard to fill if you walk out the door and, in this blossoming economy, there will be very few people available to take your job. What I don't understand is, what is your end game? What do you hope to accomplish? Yes, a walk out will cost your employer millions of dollars in lost sales and yes, it will cost you your job. Will it end the practice of doing business on holidays? Of course not. Will it improve your working conditions? No. It will simply add hundreds or thousands of unskilled workers to the unemployment rolls. So, get off your dumb, lazy, unskilled asses and go to work. This is the real world people, not an episode of Norma Rae. Speaking as someone who has watched my captor go to work on many a holiday, let me say, do your job and do it well. Don't follow the crowd from the check out line to the unemployment line. If you're still on the fence, ask one of those 18,000 Hostess workers how that whole strike thing worked out for them.
Sway

Watch What You Say or You'll Be Next

Hello my dear friends. I'm sure you've heard about the "Dump Trump" petition circulating the internet. At last count over 400,000 sheeple had signed it. I am not one of them. Why? Because, unlike the growing numbers of sheeple in the world, I actually understand what's going on. Let's examine. The petition, started by MoveOn.org, is a juvenile attempt at political retribution by a barely relevant left wing cadre. They are demanding that Macy's "Dump Trump" because he is, among other things, sexist, racist and crazy. They say this does not fit with the "magic of Macy's". Strangely, these "concerned consumers" have no problem with Russell Simmons, who routinely refers to women as "bitches" and "hos". Nothing sexist there. They have no problem with Sean Combs (Puffy, P.Diddy, etc.) who's been arrested for such upstanding Macy-like things as aggravated assault, weapons possession, possession of stolen property and bribery. Spokesperson Martha Stewart is also an ex-con. No, these concerned Macy's consumers want Donald Trump removed because is an outspokenly Anti Obama. This, of course, makes him a racist. Kanye West rode on the Macy's float after announcing on national TV that "George Bush hates black people". No racism there. Nope. Crazy? Okay, we'll give them that one. Donald Trump may be a little nuts but anyone who pays $50 dollars for a $15 dollar sweater at Macy's is a little nuts in my humble opinion. So let's view this petition for what it is, yet another assault on our freedom of speech. Do or say something that the vocal left doesn't agree with and they want you punished for it. Their first goal is always your income. They want you fired, banned, cancelled, whatever. When that doesn't work, they attack your reputation. Apparently Clint Eastwood isn't a legend. He's a doddering, old fool. You know the drill. So people, before you jump on board another internet "groundswell", take a minute to look for the motive. If you still agree, then by all means, join the fray. Just do your homework first. There are already far to many sheeple in this world.
Po

Dumber by the Day-And There's Proof!

Hello my dear friends. As I was surfing the net today I came across a headline that read "Are Humans Becoming Less Intelligent"? Gee, you think? Well, Gerald Crabtree, a researcher at Stanford University, did a study and says yes, humans have lost the evolutionary pressure to be smart. I, personally, think a study was unnecessary. Just look around. It's pretty obvious. I don't know about evolutionary pressure, but I do remember a time when McDonalds didn't have to warn people that "Coffee is Hot" and dumping in your lap will burn. I remember a day when plastic bags didn't come with bold warnings NOT to place the bag over your head. I guess we, as a people, were just a little smarter back then. According to Mr. Crabtree's study, when humans transformed from the hunter-gather mode, where failure to secure food and shelter would result in death, to the community mode, where failure to secure food and shelter, results in someone else doing it for you, we. as humans, lost our edge. Other researchers dispute this, saying we have become smarter in other ways. I'm on the fence. Let's start with watch we watch. Back in the 50's, women would go on TV's "Queen for a Day" and tell their sob stories to get a new refrigerator. Now people go on TV to eat bugs and marry strangers for money. Back in the day, people would tune in to see Carol Burnett or Mary Tyler Moore. Now it's Honey Boo Boo, Jersey Shore and the Kardashians. I believe there's a new show coming out where people sing karaoke while being covered in snakes and spiders and the like. Charming.  Are we deliberately killing brain cells. Yes, modern man invented the iPad, the cellphone and the microwave. But they had the work and discoveries of their predecessors to build on. Early man discovered and harnessed fire and electricity without a how to book or a college education. Smarter then or smarter now? I can't help but wonder if Ben Franklin felt, as I often do, that he was surrounded by idiots. I can't say. But I do think Mr. Crabtree's study brings up interesting questions. Are we losing our intellectual edge? Have we lost the pressure to be smart? Is it evolution or our own laziness that's leading the way? I don't have the answers, although I probably would have 30 years ago. I do know this. On the surface, people sure seems to be getting dumber by the day.
Po

It's All Fun & Games Till Someone Breaks a Paw

Hello my dear friends. My captor is nursing a broken hand. There are several theories on how it happened. Some say she punched a wall while watching the Bad News Bills, once again, snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Some say she punched the first democrat she saw following the election. I have it on good authority that she actually tripped over a tree root and fell on her face, well, on her hand. hehehe. I'm really sorry I missed it. It happened in Niagara Falls while she was visiting her parents. Anywho, it's proven to be a rather difficult week for the captor as she is "bi-handual", not "ambidextrous". Ambidextrous people are GOOD with both hands. Bi-handual people (yes, I made that up) just USE both hands. It's not unlike the captor to simply trip and fall. She's kind of a clod. But, she usually doesn't break that easily. I, for one, am doing my part to remind her what a goober she is by stepping on her boo boo paw every chance I get It's been really fun to wake her up that way. I swear, she screams like a little girl! So, she's down a paw for 4-6 weeks. Luckily it was her left hand, not the dominant right hand. And, it could have been worse. If she hadn't gotten her hand down she would have landed square on her face! That would have been a real hoot! The real kicker for me is that the captor is such a city dweller. She hates all things nature and then she was taken out by a tree! Poetic Justice at it's finest.
Po

It's Finally Here!

Hello my dear friends. First, let me apologize for being so lax in my blogging. I know how important my insight is in your lives. Who else could so accurately point out all of the things that are wrong with you, thus, allowing you all to live better lives. But, enough about me. You already know how important I am to you! The reason I have been avoiding the blog, and social media all together, is because this election season has really driven me to the edge. You know that I try to avoid discussing politics but sometimes you just have to let the fur fly. So, my dear liberal friends, now is the time to leave. This election season has really lowered all of our quality of life. It's been disgusting, despicable and dishonest. It's been an embarrassment. So, with the big day on the horizon, I would like to take this opportunity to both enlighten and insult you. First, if I hear one more allegedly intelligent person say "we probably won't know who the President is on Wednesday night" I'm going to blow. The President is Barak Obama. He is the President today and he'll be the President until (at least) January 20th.Semantics? Maybe. But people (mostly reporters) who say it sound really stupid. I don't like stupid people. Now, if you let Bruce Springsteen, Cher, Katy Perry or God forbid Kathy Griffin, influence who you vote for, you should not be allowed to vote. When a politician who has been voted out of office runs for that office again and you vote for them, you should be slapped, really hard, right in the head. When you make a decision as important as President of the United States based on a single issue, like your genitalia and how you choose to use it, you do a disservice to yourself and everyone else. The world is alot bigger than you. Get over yourself. And, on that note, let me clear up a few things. I have seen thousands of commercials saying that if you vote for a republican, they will eliminate government funding for Planned Parenthood, thus depriving low income women of mammograms. Well, Planned Parenthood doesn't provide mammograms to anyone and they never have. If your one of those people who have been bombarding social media with pro Obama propaganda touting his amazing record on gay rights, you'll be amazed to realize that he's had FOUR YEARS to repeal DOMA, which by the way was made law by his savior Bill Clinton, and he's done nothing. Wake up and smell the coffee. You're being used. So, when you go to the voting booth tomorrow, and since you're still reading this I really hope you do vote, ask yourself if this Country is really headed in the right direction. If you truly believe it is, then your choice is clear. If, however, you believe as I do that we are headed down a dangerous path, then you know what to do. God Bless America!
Princess PoKitty

This World is Exhausting!

Hello my dear friends. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the people struggling to recover from the wrath of Superstorm Sandy. My heart also goes out to the rest of us still suffering through Superstorm Political Ad! Will it NEVER END! I'm telling you people I'm about to go whatever the Kitty equivalent of postal is. It's everywhere and it is relentless! I know you know what I'm saying. It doesn't matter what side you're on, it all sucks! Now, today, Thursday, November 1, 2012, I turned on the radio and what to my wondering ears did appear? F#$%*%$ CHRISTMAS MUSIC! Please, don't get me wrong, I Love Christmas but come on. Two full months of Christmas carols would drive even the heartiest of revelers off the deep end. Let's face it, and you can do the math, there are only about 20 legitimate Christmas songs, right? Each one is about 3 minutes long, you with me? That means by Christmas Day we will have heard each song approximately 1320 times! Okay, there are plenty of "fun Christmas ditties" to mix in. I'll give you that. Let's add another 20 songs. Now we will have heard each one of them 660 times in 8 weeks. Can anyone name a song they would like to hear 12 times a day for 55 days? Talk about crushing the Christmas Spirit. Now all we need are a few of the annual lawsuits to remove any mention of Christ and the Mas Holiday Season will be upon us! I just can't wait. Can you?
Po

Batten Down the Hatches! It's Frankenstorm!

Take Cover People! Hurricane Sandy has his/her sights set on Upstate New York. All of the national weather pundits are talking about New York or Boston but, if you follow the eye of that storm, it's pointed right at Syracuse. Yikes! That's where I'm being held captive. It is a rain storm, not a snow storm, but it's a BIG ONE! They're calling it the "perfect storm". I'm guessing that they think that's clever because of the movie. I prefer FrankenStorm, which actually is clever. Sandy cut through Cuba with 110 mph winds this morning and is gaining strength. There are a couple of factors that could make Sandy a real bear. First, it could hit during a full moon when tides are at their highest, increasing storm surge and flooding. Cuba got smacked with 29 foot waves! Second, many trees still have leaves, increasing the chances of fallen branches taking down power lines. Sandy isn't supposed to hit this area until early next week and, what force it will bring depends on where it hits land. Right now, if you draw a straight line from the eye's current position it cuts right through downtown Syracuse. I'm crossing my paws that this will change. However, the time to act is NOW people! Do you have enough supplies? You should have at least a week's worth of bottled water, captive food, kitty litter, catnip and whatever you people need to survive. Make sure you have fresh batteries. It's my understanding that you people can't see in the dark. Do you have a car charger for your cell phone? You should. Don't be a goober, like my captor, who thinks emergency supplies consist of peanut butter, crackers and wine. Although, that works. Anyway people, I'm not saying to hit the panic button. I'm just saying it never hurts to plan ahead, just in case. And, remember the most important thing, in an emergency, save the Kitties first! Good luck to you.
Sway

A Few Things on My Mind

Hello my dear friends. I have, thus far, resisted the urge to blog about how deeply and profoundly the Buffalo Bills suck this year. Let me just say that the captor is already in Stage 4 of the 5 Stages of Bills Football (disappointment). I'm quite certain that Stage 5 (anger) is a few short weeks away. Enough said about that mess. One of the things that caught my attention recently is a lawsuit, filed by the parents of a 14 year old Maryland girl, against the makers of Monster Energy Drink. The girl died of cardiac arrhythmia caused by caffeine toxicity. It's a technical term that basically means she overdosed on caffeine. Her parents say she drank two 24oz Monster Drinks in a 24 hour period and it killed her. Tragic. There's a couple problems with the lawsuit. First, the girl suffered from an inherited disorder that can weaken blood vessels. Second, Monster Energy Drinks clearly state on the can that they are "Not recommended for children or people sensitive to caffeine". There are 5 such claims that have been filed against the makers of Monster dating back to 2004. Monster, the #1 energy drink in the country, has 240 milligrams of caffeine in a 24oz can or 7-times the amount of caffeine in a 12oz can of cola. My problem with this whole thing is obvious. Why are you letting your 14 year old drink 48ozs of anything, other than water, on any given day, let alone a highly charged energy drink? The courts will decided the latest case of parental responsibility vs deep pockets.  Next on my radar is a move to designate cheerleading as a official sport so they can regulate it. Reported cheerleading injuries among young girls are growing, although they remain far behind gymnastics and soccer. I'm all for designating cheerleading as an official sport. Not so it can be regulated but because cheerleaders are usually the best athletes on the field. Don't agree? Take a football, throw it into the air and catch it. Not too hard, right? Now, take the person next to you, throw them into the air and catch them. A little trickier, right? 3.6 million kids, over the age of 6, participated in cheerleading activities last year. Cheerleading should be designated an official sport so cheerleaders can get funding like all other official sports. If the sport can be made safer, it should be, but lets make the changes for the right reasons.
Finally, I heard on the news yesterday that in the Presidential Election, democrats were leading in the early voting. Some 350,000 people have already cast their vote for President. My question is; How do they know who is leading? Aren't they supposed to be secret ballots that are opened after the polls close on election night? Maybe the rules have changed. Interesting though, don't you think?
Po

Political Content-you've been warned!

Hello my dear friends. It's been awhile. As you know, I try to stay out of the political fray as much as possible but you people keep dragging me back in! Let me save some of you some time. If you are still an "undecided" voter or someone who doesn't plan to vote, stop reading now and go away. I don't like you. Next, if you are an unwavering supporter of the current administration, stop reading now. You're not going to like this anyway. Okay, for the rest of you, what the hell is wrong with people? That "debate" last night was a  travesty. The "issue" emerging from that epic waste of time was Romney's comment about a "binder full of women". There are now memes across the world, a Farcebook page with 250 thousand "likes" and the Pres can't repeated it enough. Why? Because their "Big Bird" distraction has run it's course. When you are nothing but a narcissistic empty suit with a disastrous track record, you must distract the minions with subterfuge. Candy Crowley is a disgrace to the profession of journalism. Not just because she let her liberal colors bleed through, jumping to her feet to defend the Prez, because today she tried to back peddle to save face. If you're going to be a douche bag, at least have the ovaries to stand behind your actions. Since the "undecided" audience applauded her display, it's safe to assume they weren't all that undecided, were they? Did anyone else find it odd that everyone who asked an Obama friendly question ("How are you different from George Bush"; "I voted for you last time, what have you done to earn my vote again" etc.) appeared to have never before read the question they were reading? Because every one of them stumbled miserably over what they were reading? It sure seemed odd to me. How about this revelation: Prez "Sure gas prices were low back then, the economy was on the verge of collapse. Prices are higher now because the the economy is improving and we are going to continue to grow this economy".  So your plan is to continue to let gas prices rise? Lied about Libya.The Prez now says he declared the murders in Libya a "terrorist attack" the day after it happened. If that's true (and I don't believe it is) why did he, the Ambassador to the UN and the Secretary of State make 20 different TV appearances claiming it was a "spontaneous outburst over a YouTube video? Lying then or lying now, doesn't really matter, still lying.  Lied about reducing Federal drilling permits. It's public record. There are 62% fewer Federal drilling permits today than there were in 2008. On and On and On. Blah Blah Blah.
Okay. If you're still reading I'll assume we are of the same mind, so I will let you in on my new people meter.
Do you know a CLOOTAIDAL? (pronounced CLUE-tay-dal) Crazed Liberal Out Of Touch And In Denial About Life?
If you believe everything that is wrong in this Country today is still George Bush's fault, you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe we're safer today then we were 4 years ago, you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe spending trillions of dollars on "green energy initiatives" will lower gas prices, you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe you're poor because other people are rich, well, you're a loser and an asshole as well as a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe 4 more years down this path will improve your life you're delusional and you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
If you believe the Government should provide you with the general comforts of success, you're probably a Canadian and you're a CLOOTAIDAL.
Finally, If you believe I, Princess PoKitty, Ruler of all Kittydome, would make a better President than anyone in the running, you are an intelligent, well informed, well adjusted human being.
I shall leave you with this. When you find yourself trapped in a conversation with a CLOOTAIDAL, tell them that all of your black friends are voting for Romney. When they ask you to prove it, call them a racist and walk away. You'll still be able to hear their head explode in the distance.
Po

Crime Could Pay-In New York

Hello People. Do you know what your Governor is up to? Let me first say that I have, in general, been a fan of Governor Cuomo. However, his latest proposal has my fur standing on end! The Gubner (yes, he has been demoted from Governor to Gubner) want to set up a program that allows convicts to sign up for Medicaid while incarcerated and have them receive it upon their release. The Gubner and his people say this will help "curb the spread of diseases contracted in prison". Apparently, according to the Department of Health, "The spread of communicable and non-communicable diseases tend to be higher in the prison population". Really? I'm shocked! Are you saying that criminals, as a whole, are more likely to be unhealthy than the general law abiding population? Hmmm. I wonder if it has anything to do with their overall lifestyle choices. Probably not. It's probably the whole incarcerated thing. It stands to reason then that we should provide them with free (taxpayer funded) health insurance. After all, we wouldn't want New York's ex-cons infecting their super model girlfriends with something they picked up at Rikers Island or the County Pen. We want to be sure that those newly released pedophiles, pimps and gang bangers are up to date on all of their shots. A Health Felon is a Happy Felon! And, we wouldn't want that possible happiness to be predicated on finding an actual JOB that would include or allow you to purchase health care benefits. That's the (new) American Way! Why stop at health care? Let's hook all of New York's ex-con population with the full State Welfare Package. It is, after all. the finest in the land! Start with Medicaid (free medical, dental, eye, prescription, etc.), throw in the Housing Choice Voucher (Section 8) to get your rent paid, add SNAP (that's what they call food stamps now so there's no "shame" in free food). They'll also need Temporary Assistance (that would be your spending money). "Temporary" in New York, by the way, means 60 months (Yes, 5 whole years). Let's see...Free rent, food, health care, spending money, that should make the transition from criminal to productive, law abiding citizen a little easier. By God Gubner, I think you're on to something! "Welcome to New York! Commit a Crime, Do Your Time and We'll Take Care of the Rest"! Why, this is brilliant. Our jails/prisons will be empty in no time! Once we take all of that pressure off, there will be no reason for criminals to repeat offend. I sure the only reason they committed a crime in the first place was because they had no health insurance. This is awesome. Gubner, I stand corrected. You are the man! Now, all we have to do is spread the word to the 2.2 million working New Yorkers, who don't have health care, to knock over their neighborhood liquor store.....
Sway

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

People, People, People. Every day, somewhere in this great Country, there are always a handful of you that make me stop and scratch my head. Case on point: A couple in Powder Springs, Georgia, is opening an indoor shooting range with a full service bar, serving alcohol to it's patrons! What could possibly go wrong? The owners of this new establishment say, basically, Georgia law already allows gun owners to carry their weapons, concealed or otherwise, into restaurants that serve alcohol so, 'what's the big deal'? What, indeed.
Next we learn that the New York City Department of Education has been stocking nurse's offices at 13 city high schools with the Plan B "morning after" birth control pill. It's handed out, free of charge, to students 14 and older, no parental permission needed. What could possibly go wrong? It's not like it will lead to more unprotected sex and a possible explosion of STDs or HIV. Why waste time with condoms (also provided free of charge) when you can pop a pill the next day.Hey, they're kids, they make mistakes. Problem solved.
Did you know that this drought has driven up the cost of feed corn so much that farmers have turned to an alternative. Yup. Candy Corn. The same stuff you sprinkle on your Halloween cupcakes, cows are now eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Feed corn just turns to sugar after they eat it anyway. What could possibly go wrong? I wonder what the affect on the human body will be after, you know, eating cows on a perpetual sugar high. Probably nothing. Hey, the growth hormones didn't kill us, did they?
After the Seattle Seahawks upset the Green Bay Packers last night on a much disputed final call by the replacement refs, Wisconsin State Senator (D) Jon Erpenbach Tweeted NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's phone number. What could possibly go wrong with that?  Erpenbach is, by the way, one of 14 Democratic senators who fled to Illinois for three weeks last year to avoid voting on their Governor's proposal to fight that state's Public Employees Union. I guess some unions are scarier than others.
Po

Too Fat to Die and Other Stuff

Hello my dear friends! Several stories in the news this week have caught my attention. First, the Cranston, Rhode Island School district has banned the annual Father-Daughter Dance because it is apparently against the law. Turns out that it's a violation of the State's gender discrimination law. How do we know this? ONE single mother complained that her daughter couldn't go. So it stands to reason that you would prevent the entire school district from taking part. It would have just been silly to have her mother, an uncle or family friend bring her. It makes far more sense to prevent all girls in the district from spending quality time with their fathers knowing one girl didn't have a father. I assume only one girl in the district is fatherless since she was the only one who sued. Good job Cranston. You get it. You really get it!
Next, from the great State of Ohio, 53-year old death row inmate Ronald Post, is suing to prevent his execution saying, because he weighs over 480 pounds, his execution would amount to "a torturous and lingering death". Yup. So what's the problem? Well, Post says because of his weight, the execution gurney probably won't hold him so, with his weight, vein access, scar tissue, depression and other medical issues, executing him would be problematic. I, for one, am willing to risk it. Post says, because of all this, he should be allowed to live. 30-years ago Mr. Post robbed a motel and shot the clerk to death. She was an older woman who he shot twice in the back of the head. Hey Ohio! If the gurney won't hold him, roll him in and why worry about vein access or scar tissue? Shoot him! Case closed, right?
Finally, Mitt Romney is facing fierce criticism after a "secret tape" showed him saying that 47% of people supporting Obama will vote for him no matter what. Here's a piece:
“these are people who pay no income tax,” but they are people “who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.”
Well, I am shocked! Only 47%? I would have thought that number was much higher. No wonder people are angry. 
Po

Peanut, Wingnut, Is this What We've Become?

Hello my dear friends. We often speak of political correctness run amok. I really thought I had gotten to a point where nothing you people do or say would surprise me. I was wrong. Verenice Gutierrez, a school administrator in Portland, Oregon, says Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches have "Racial Connotations". Yup. Those racist PB&Js! It seems Ms. Gutierrez, a Principal at a K-8 school, took offense to a teacher using a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as an example in a math problem. She called the PB&J example "problematic and discriminatory" saying "what about Somali or Hispanic students who don't eat sandwiches"?  LOL! You can't make this stuff up. Apparently talking about food that some people don't eat is racist. Who knew? Fear not people. There is a solution. The schools are now integrating the "Courageous Conversation". This, according to Gutierrez, will help educators understand (I'm quoting here, I swear) ""their own white privilege". They can then use this knowledge to promote minority student's performance.This particular school district, by the way, is 50% Hispanic; 15% Black; 9% Asian and 7% Native American. One way they are doing this is by using lunchtime to host a drum class for Black and Hispanic boys only. Apparently "Minority" has a different definition in Oregon. When questioned about this popular program that excludes girls, Whites, Asians and Native Americans, Gutierrez replied (another direct quote, I swear) "When White people do it, it's not a problem, but if it's for kids of color, then it's a problem? Break it down for me. That's your white privilege and your whiteness".  Okey Dokey. I guess that explains that. I believe we're all better people for learning this. What would have happened if that math teacher had used a Fluffer Nutter instead of PB&J? All that additional whiteness! Good Gracious. It would have been pandemonium! So remember this people, you are not to discuss any type of food that is not eaten and accepted world wide or you are a racist. I believe that leaves celery on the approved food discussion list. Feel free to discuss.
Po

Never Forget but also Remember

Hello my dear friends. Today I write with a heavy heart. The events of September 11, 2001 are as fresh in my mind today as they were 11 years ago. We will never forget the tragedy that took place in New York, Pennsylvania and Washington D.C.  So many lives cut short. So many brave men and women lost. First responders, yes, but also average, every day men and women who ignored the danger and fought to save the lives of people they did not know. So much loss. So much destruction. Why? Hate. Young men, terrorists, filled with anger and hate. That is why, on this day, it is important to "Never Forget" the tragedy that took place but it is also important to remember what brought it all about. Blind hate. Nothing good, nothing positive, ever comes from hate. So on this Day of Remembrance, this Day of Service, let's also make this a day free from hate. One heart at a time. Let's all let go of past grievances, anger, bitterness and estrangement, knowing as we do that life is far too short. To the Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters, Brothers and Sisters that we're lost to hate on that fateful day, may you rest in peace. To all of those who lost loved ones and friends, may you find peace. For the rest of us, use today to reach out to someone we've separated from, for whatever reason, and make peace. Let's vow to eliminate hate, one heart at a time, starting with our own. God Bless America.
Po

Enough Sheeple! Go Away!

Hello my dear friends. I'm about to insult a number of you so, let me just say in advance, good. That is my intention. I have always known that this world was filled with Sheeple (a combination or "portmanteau" of 'sheep' and 'people' referring to those, who like herd animals, just blindly follow along). This has never been more apparent since the advent of Facebook. We have discussed this before but, apparently, you weren't listening. Now, I have finally reached the end of my rope. So here, my dear friends, is an open letter to the Sheeple of Facebook. If you feel this refers to you and you are offended by it, please, by all means, un-friend me, block me, delete this blog from your updates. Do us both a favor and let's part ways.

Dear Sheeple,
Spending hours each day "sharing" Facebook chain mails with cute, endearing, spiritual or God help us all POLITICAL messages is a waste of your time and, more importantly, MINE! Aside from the fact that these "messages" are created by marketing firms to collect personal data and on-line trends, they are nonsense! If you feel the need "click and share" so your "friends" know you love your children, your parents, Jesus, your pets or anything else, you REALLY need better friends. I have tolerated your constant need to let me, and everyone else, know that you are capable of reading other people's clever remarks, while adding your own clever "LOL" before passing it along. Now, with this new flood of political commentary, I have to put my paw down. Enough is enough! Let me say that if you really feel you have some unique political insight that would help me make an informed decision on November 7th then please, share it with me. I would love to hear it. Maybe we could discuss it. But, and this is a BIG but, if the extent of your political insight is "sharing" another anonymous Facebook chain mail "poster" (the vast majority of which are bullcheese) then please take me off your friend list. There's a 99.9% chance that we are not friends anyway. Let me offer an example of what pushed me over the edge. The other day I was scrolling through my page to see what my friends were up to. After deleting 27 (yes 27) political posts (and promptly blocking the people who posted them) I came across one that really ticked me off. It listed the "accomplishments" of the current administration and called for four more years. Someone had commented on the post that is was, in fact, factually incorrect. That was followed by a barrage of comments attacking the person as a "hater" a "moron" and a "right wing freak". One person posted "these are the facts, if you disagree then back up your opinion with facts and NOT something you heard on Fox News". The original post said the national debt was $1.6 trillion dollars. Anyone who has even seen a newspaper in the last four years knows that's incorrect. But this is what I took from the whole exchange. The original poster "shared" something he knew nothing about, claiming it was FACT because, well, he read it on Facebook. He challenged the dissenter to dispute his Facebook post, but not with anything he'd heard on the NEWS. Really? In closing (yes, I'm almost done and, if you're still reading this I assume you agree with me) when someone posts one of these political chain mails with the comment "this says it all" I'd like you to inform that person that they are correct. I says all we need to know about you. It says:
#1  You'd like to participate in the political discussion but you aren't smart enough to do so on your own.
#2  You're too lazy to do your own research and, in turn, form your own opinions
#3  You are one of the Sheeple and therefore have nothing original to offer.
There. I'm done. Block me, un-friend me, bash me on twitter. Just please, GO AWAY!
Much Love,
Po

"Ain't"; Seriously?

Hello my dear friends. I often speak about how the English language is going to heck. Kids today have no grasp on proper English. I often ask why. Is it our schools? Is it laziness? Do they think it's cute? While I'm sure it's probably a mixture of all of those reasons, it's also something else. It's who we are. Last night, during his speech to the DNC, former President (and Rhodes Scholar) Bill Clinton uttered the phrase "It just ain't so". Seriously, Mr. President? I know it is the goal of every politician to connect with the "common man" but, quite frankly, I prefer our leaders to be a little smarter than the "common man". Obviously, Mr. Clinton knows better. He said this for affect and it was warmly received. I get that. Speaking to a national audience in the vernacular of one who has wheels on their home, is not what I expect from a former President. Especially one as intelligent as Bill Clinton. If we can't count on our leaders to speak properly, there is no hope for the future of our language.  Grammar, spelling and punctuation are becoming a lost art. Spell check has become a major player in it's demise. Have you noticed how often these days the wrong word is used in printed media and television scrolls across the bottom of your screen. My favorite example is when our illustrious local paper ran a headline regarding the "ERIC" Canal. Erie, Eric, whatever. It cleared spell check.  Since the birth of texting and Twitter, grammar and punctuation are non-existent. Without proper punctuation we get signs like "Slow Children Crossing".  What ever happened to capitalization? Capitalization is the difference between "helping your Uncle Jack off a horse" and "helping your uncle jack off a horse". It's important. So people, let's lead by example. Let's resist the urge to say "I be lovin' me some pizza" and go with the more coherent "I love pizza". Try it for a week. Let's see if it catches on!
Po

Why Squirrels SUCK!

Hello people. My captors are very upset today. Why? Because an alleged squirrel offed their pumpkin! That's right. The captors, who are as far removed from farming as Obama is from the Tea Party, were attempting to grow their own pumpkins and, although they largely failed, they did have one little guy hanging on. That is until today. During their morning stroll around their "garden" I heard a painful moan, "not the pumpkin"! Yes, the pumpkin. Severed from the vine and dead. Why? Because squirrels are allowed to roam freely through our yards! They torment dogs and cats alike. The dig holes, they make noise and they steal vegetables! SQUIRRELS SUCK and they should be eliminated! They are, after all, nothing but rats with good PR. Ask any cat or dog. They will agree with me. Squirrels need to go! So on this Labor Day, as my now sad captors begin preparing for their cookout, I call upon you to join me in my newest campaign, the eradication of squirrels from civilized society! We can do it people. If St. Patrick could banish the snakes from Ireland the Consequella can banish the squirrels from Syracuse! It will be epic, people. I will go down in history! Feel free to begin planning my parade.
Sway
By the way
Pumpkin 5/30/12 to 9-3-12
Died unexpectedly at home. It is survived by tomatoes, peppers, a handful of beans and various herbs and spices. There will be no prior visitation or services. RIP Pumpkin. We barely knew you.

Here we go Again?

Hello my dear friends. It's that time of year again! The special time of when when Buffalo Bills fans anxiously anticipate the start of a new season. A fresh start. A new beginning. This is going to be our year! This excitement generally ends around week four. And, once again, Bills fans like me go through the 5 stages of football. Anticipation, excitement, desperation, disappointment and anger. Around this prison it is strictly forbidden to badmouth the Bills. Everyone is required to wear at least one article of Bills clothing on game day. The Bills flag comes out, joining the Yankees banner. In keeping with Buffalo Bills tradition, people gather here each Sunday. There is food, adult beverages and laughter...until kickoff. There are cheers, usually followed by groans. Laughter usually turns to cursing around halftime. After the game there is rationalizing to keep hope alive. This, traditionally ends around week 5. Stages one and two are complete. This is when rationalizing turns to aggravation. Someone will have to go. My captor usually calls for the coach's head. Followed by the quarterback. A record of 3-2 slowly become 3-6. "We need to win 6 more and hope the Pats fall apart". Stage 3, check.Week 15 and the Bills are 6-9. Stage 4. It's not our year. We had some bad breaks. Injuries have killed us. The playoffs begin, bringing with them stage 5. Bills fans are once again on the outside looking in, hating New England and whomever took the wild card spot. What fun! Why, you ask, do they put themselves through this each and every year? Because they're Bills fans and that's just what you do. Go Bills!
Po

You Just Ate What?

Hello my dear friends. I just caught the captor eating a peanut butter and pickle sandwich! I said to her (yes, we communicate. Don't judge me!) I said "what the hell are you eating"? Apparently peanut butter and sweet pickles was a childhood favorite of the captor. Maybe it's because the Great New York State Fair is underway, serving such  tasty treats as deep fried banana and fluff sandwiches and hot dogs served on glazed doughnuts, that made the captor nostalgic.  It got me to thinking about some of the crap that you people eat! Let's start with the egg. Have you ever wondered about the first person to pick up an egg and say "I just found this under a chicken. Let's eat it". How about seafood? I can understand eating fish, I, myself, enjoy a nice tuna florentine, but who decided to suck the insides out of a clam? How about squid? These are not things that appear to be appetizing. It brought me back to the Beijing Olympics. During the "fluff" pieces they're so fond of showing, the focused on a roadside stand that was selling deep fried scorpions on a stick. They called it a delicacy and American tourists where lined up around the block to give it a try. I couldn't help but notice that not a single native was ever in line.  I guess maybe it was the price that kept them away and not the fact that a bunch of Goobers were paying good money to eat poisonous spiders! People in Central New York gladly stand in line for an over-priced cup of boiled potatos. (They call them salt potatos). They also eat these scary white hot dogs called Coneys. Yuk! Who, exactly, decides which greens are vegetables and which are weeds? I guess it's all based on taste but it's the adventurer, the initial taster that really makes me wonder. Who would volunteer to be the first to snap the head off a crawfish and suck out what's inside? I pretty sure that's a southern thing. The captor tells a story about a trip to Florida many (many) years ago, during spring break. She and some friends went into a restaurant and asked if they had chicken wings (they're native Buffalonians). The shocked waitress exclaimed "Just the wings"! I guess it was pretty funny at the time. Anyway, my point is, just because someone says it's okay to eat something doesn't mean that you should actually eat it. Those days when Mom used to say "try it before you say you don't like it" are long gone. Think about that the next time you find yourself waiting in line for deep fried spiders!
Po

Anatomy of an Idiot

Hello my dear friends. Today I would like to discuss what I believe makes an "idiot" and why it appears to be becoming so popular. Now, by definition, an idiot is a "mentally deficient person" or "an utterly foolish or senseless person". In reality, we are surrounded by idiots who are neither mentally deficient nor noticeably foolish, until they speak. They may not meet the technical definition of an idiot but they are, without a doubt, an idiot. The obvious first example of not being deemed an idiot until one speaks would be 6 term Missouri Congressman and Senate Candidate Todd Akin. His "legitimate rape" comments certainly qualify him as an idiot. There's no denying that. But what makes a seemingly intelligent person expose their inner idiot? I mean, the fine people of Missouri elected this guy SIX TIMES. He was the front runner in the Senate race until he decided to share his insight on female reproductive control during "legitimate rape".  Akin has a degree in management engineering and a Master of Divinity degree from Covenant Theological Seminary. He is a Christian who is firmly opposed to abortion. He has a right to his beliefs. But, no matter how you look at it, he can't honestly believe what he said.I guess I just can't wrap my head around how someone, even in the heat of the moment, could say something like that. Even if he does believe it, why on earth would you say it out loud? He has apologized and said he misspoke but that doesn't really matter. You can't put your inner idiot back in the bottle any more than you can get toothpaste back in the tube. Once it's out, it's out for good.  Dan Quayle was labeled an idiot because he misspelled the word "potato". Joe Biden introduced a paralyzed American Veteran at a fundraiser and told him to "stand up". The candidate Barak Obama told a crowd that he'd already visited 57 states and still had one to go! I know, the latter examples don't reach the level of idiot as the former but, my point is, people say really stupid things, even seemingly intelligent people. Normally, a ridiculous statement like Akin's would be dismissed in a day but, with the elections right around the corner, we're going to have to endure "the statement" and all of the idiots who latch on to it, for another 80+ days. Good Grief!
Po

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Bolt Cutters!

Hello my dear friends. I think we can all agree that National Security should always be a top priority in this country. Our safety and our freedom depends on it. So, imagine my surprise when I read about the 82-year old nun and her two friends (ages 51 & 63) who waltzed into the Y-12 National Security Complex over the weekend. In case you're not familiar with it, the Y-12 is the "most secure nuclear operations facility in the world"! Think about that for a moment. Y-12 maintains the "safety, security and effectiveness" of the US nuclear stockpile. It also supplies nuclear power to the US Navy. Yet, 82-year old Sister Megean Rice, and friends, used bolt cutters to get through a security fence and, with lights flashing and alarms sounding, made their way into a "highly secured" area where they spray painted anti-nuke statements and hung banners. They were found TWO HOURS LATER sitting in the dark...SINGING! They were "promptly" arrested. LOL! Thank God it was an angry NUN and not an angry terrorist! They house enriched uranium and nuclear weapons there! Don't lose any sleep over this my friends. The National Nuclear Security Administration's Production Office, who is in charge of security there, says the intruders were "not really close" to the nukes. That's an interesting statement since they immediately CLOSED the facility (it's still closed) and moved all of the "special nuclear material" to vaults at the facility. Apparently they were keeping it in cupboard or something before the breach.  Also, the NNSA says security personnel will be undergoing training and "refresher instruction". YA THINK! Refresher instruction? You mean, "Uh, in case you forgot, we don't allow people off the street to wander around secure nuclear facilities and vandalize them". "Oh, by the way, when alarms go off you should really go check on things a little quicker than TWO HOURS"! It's not like they were hiding. They were SINGING! Are you kidding me? The NNSA also said that changes were being made to address "security deficiencies". DEFICIENCIES! An 82 year old Nun busted in! I'd say that's a bit more than a deficiency. The Agency also said that all nuclear materials are in safe, secure storage and that they "remain entirely confident in the security of the Y-12 facilities". Well, that's good enough for me!
Po

A Moment of Brilliance!

Hello my dear friends. Upon learning of this rare moment of brilliance, I just knew I needed to share it with you so we could all start the weekend off feeling better about ourselves. Bask with me, if you will, in the brilliance of this man; a mild mannered lawn dude weed whacking a large hill...

Lawn dude had a big job ahead of him! He was using a gas powered weed whacker so he needed to stash his gas can in a handy place so he could grab a quick fill up when needed. So, in his shinning moment of brilliance, where did he decide to stash his OPEN gas container?

Yup. Right behind the Smoker's Post! Let's hope no one decides to flick their butt or they may flambe their ass! Enjoy the weekend Friends!
Po

Why So Angry, People?

Hello my dear friends. Sometimes you people exhaust me. Why is everyone so angry these days? I have my theories but let me just give you a few examples. 31-year old Na Cola Darcel Franklin was supposed to be married on Saturday. Unfortunately, hours before the ceremony, she and her fiance got into an argument and she stabbed him in the heart, twice. He died. She told the judge she "didn't mean to kill him on purpose".  A man in Texas, angry about being evicted from his apartment, opened fire on a police officer, killing him and an innocent bystander, and wounding 4 others before he was killed by police. A nut in Wisconsin, angry that everyone in American isn't white, shot up a Sikh Temple, killing 6.  Of course there was the tragic shooting in Colorado. It's not about guns people. It's about ANGER. People are so freaking angry these days. Animal cruelty cases have doubled. Road rage, sports rage, economic rage. Geez! We really need to lighten up. I understand that times are tough. They're tough for almost all of us. Why are we taking it out on each other? The captor was shopping today. She tells me that, as she was in the parking lot loading her groceries into the car, a woman pulled up wanting to park in the spot next to her. Her cart was partially in the space and the woman shouted "Hey! Move that cart". The captor looked around at the dozen other parking spaces available (some of them closer to the store than where they were) and said quite nicely "I'll be done in a minute". The woman in the car then blew her horn and again shouted "Move that damn cart!" Now, if you know my captor you know that she is generally civil and polite to strangers until provoked. At this point it is safe to say that the captor felt provoked but, she bit her tongue and continued to put her groceries in the car. Could she have moved the cart? Yes she could have and, had there not been a dozen other options for the woman to park, she would have. That is until the woman became belligerent. As the captor continued to (now slowly) load her car, the angry woman continued to inch into the spot in question until her bumper was right against the captor's cart. The captor turned and glared at the woman (you know that crazed glare she gets) and in a very even tone said "You move one more inch and I'm going to drop to the ground, scream for help and then sue you for every cent your trailer is worth. Now back up". The woman paused for a moment, shouted a stream of F-bomb laced profanity and backed out of the spot. It was then the captor noticed she had two children strapped in the backseat. Charming. Absolutely charming!
Po

How to Treat an American Veteran

Hello my dear friends. I often talk to you about how people, especially those in the "service" industry suck. People are so rude and disrespectful these days that it often takes a really big act of ignorance, a special kind of stupid, to shock me. Well, my friends, hold on to your hats. I recently came across several stories that outline just how awful people can be and they all involved disabled American Veterans!
#1 Staff Sgt. Chad Staples, an Army Ranger who was left paralyzed when he took a bullet protecting a fellow soldier during his second tour in Iraq, was staying at a Texas Best Western. The elevator was out of service so he called the front desk asking for assistance to get down from the 3rd floor. The wheelchair bound Veteran says the front desk clerk, Holly Oyerbides, mocked his disability, laughing and saying "are you kidding"? He was forced to crawl down the stairs! Best Western apologized and refunded his money for his stay. Big freaking deal, right? The "clerk" was not fired. Best Western sucks.
#2 Disabled Army Veteran Jim Stanek was trapped in a nightmare 3 day delay at Dullus International Airport. Stanek suffered a Traumatic Brian Injury during his third tour in Iraq and also suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Stanek, who was travelling with his service dog, says American Airlines staff KICKED his dog, not once but TWICE! Are you kidding me! Then, when Stanek approached the "Service Desk" to request a hotel voucher, the clerk allegedly said, "are you retarded, get back in line". Charming.
#3 It was recently discovered that WWII Veteran Lawrence Davis Jr., was buried by the Florida National Cemetery, in a cardboard box. It seems Mr. Lawrence had no family to see him off so they buried him in the box his remains were sent to the cemetery in. A cardboard box! Such respect! The cemetery claims that they performed a special service before the burial so that did constitute a "dignified burial". I respectfully disagree.
These are just three instances I came across this week. How many hundreds of other examples are out there? Being rude or disrespectful to anyone is wrong. If the person you're disrespecting is disabled, you're a douchebag. If the person you feel justified in mocking is a disabled American Veteran, a person who's disability came while defending our Country, you are sub-human. Companies that tolerate sub-human employees clearly don't care about you, the consumer. If they can treat disabled people that way, what can you expect for yourself? Just something to keep in mind when you're planning to spend your hard earned cash!
Po

Your Tax Dollars In Action-I hope You're Sitting Down!

Hello my dear friends. You work hard. You're a good person. You pay your taxes. Right? I'll bet, once in a while, you wonder where all your hard earned money is going. Well, please sit down because I have a little story to tell you that's going to knock you off your feet. It involves the IRS, Taxpayer Identification Numbers and tax refunds. Taxpayer Identification numbers are generally granted to "Non-Citizens" without social security numbers and are used to file for income tax refunds. According to an investigation conducted by the Treasury Department, IRS investigators have been discouraged from investigating fraud in the filing for these numbers. As a matter of fact, those applying for Taxpayer Identification Numbers were never required to present certified copies of their birth certificate or any other identification. In plain English, they were never required to prove that they were who they said they were. The result? Well, according to the Treasury Department investigation, the inspector general found 154 addresses that were used ONE THOUSAND TIMES OR MORE to register a Taxpayer Identification Number. As a result of that, the inspector general found that 10 of those addresses were used to file 53,994 tax refunds, receiving $84.6 MILLION in tax refunds in 2011 alone! OMG! For instance (yes, this really happened) One Atlanta address was used to file 23,994 refunds and received $46.3 million dollars! The IRS issued 2706 refund checks to a single bank account totaling $7.3 million dollars! IRS officials say agents need more training to spot fraud. You Think? Call me crazy but don't you think even the untrained eye would catch 24 THOUSAND refunds going to one address? I know that in these tough times people do have roommates but 23,993 roommates seems excessive. In 2011, the IRS processed 3 million tax refunds using Taxpayer Identification Numbers, issuing $6.3 BILLION in refunds! They say they have no way of knowing how many of those were fraudulent. It would be funny if it weren't so damn upsetting. You have to wonder how these people can even see the paperwork with their heads so cleared jammed up their butts!
Po

Another Reason to Avoid New Jersey

Hello my dear friends. Travelling is so much fun these days. Happy, friendly people bustling through safe, clean and cheerful airports. Just the thought of it leaves me all atingle! So, imagine my surprise when I heard about the little glitch at Newark International Airport this weekend. Newark, as you may recall, is the same airport that had to fire 7 TSA agents last year for sleeping on the job. Thank goodness they weeded out those bad seeds! On Sunday, Newark's crack TSA team discovered a bag and a passenger that tested positive for "explosives residue"! Wow! Nice catch, right? WRONG. It seems those same crack TSA agents who discovered the passenger and the bag promptly lost track of both and had to shut down the entire airport! It gets better. By the time they realized what they had done, passenger zero had already boarded her plane and was on her way to Cleveland. She, who was never identified, arrived in Cleveland unchecked, and departed the airport before TSA agents there even knew what was going on!. She hasn't been seen since. There was a two and a half hour search for the bag, which eventually made it's way to the tarmac where it sat for 45 minutes before anyone noticed it. It then took hours to clear the bag before the airport could be reopened. So, a hundred flights were cancelled, dozens delayed, thousands of passengers forced to wait in lines for hours to be re-screened before they were allowed to search for an alternate way out of New Jersey! Sounds like a wonderful Sunday afternoon to me! This is the same airport where my captor was left stranded during a storm. That would seem unavoidable except for the fact that the airport told the airline they could land, even though the airport was closed. Thus leaving the unknowing passengers with no where to go. So my friends, heed my advice. When you book your next trip, even if it costs you more, don't use an airline that stops in Newark. You may never get out.
Po

Supremacy? Seriously?

Hello my dear friends. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims of the tragic shooting at the Wisconsin Sikh Temple. Another example of that frightening mix of ignorance and arrogance. The shooter, a self proclaimed white supremacist, apparently wanted to kill innocent Muslims, not Sikhs, but lacked the intelligence to know the difference. That's the problem with hate groups. There is no IQ test required to join. This shooter, who performed in bands called End Apathy and Definite Hate, sang songs of hate and death. The Southern Poverty Law Center, who tracks hate groups, knew who he was. He'd been on their radar for nearly a decade. Yes, he was a military veteran. He never saw combat and was dishonorably discharged. The military says he had a drinking problem. So, we have a drunken loser, filled with hate, who thinks he's actually better than other people by virtue of his race. The question with this guy was when, not if. Reports say he wanted to kill Muslims and people from the Middle East. Well, he was 0-for-2. It strikes me as odd that these so called "white supremacists" and "neo-nazis" are generally the last person you would choose to represent you. They're not even smart enough to know who they're hating. They claim to be defending the white race when, in fact, they are the ones we all need protection from. Ironic, isn't it? So now we will call this animal a "domestic terrorist" because he finally acted on the hate he's been spewing for the last 12 years. Had we labeled him, and his band of lunatics, domestic terrorists prior to this attack, perhaps the good people of Wisconsin wouldn't be mourning today. When are we going to put the smackdown on these hate groups? We allow them to organize, recruit, amass weapons and spew their ignorance at will under the guise of the First Amendment. Not until they act on their hate do we respond. And, amazingly, our response is shock. We are shocked that someone, who dedicates his life to preaching the destruction of all minorities, actually kills someone. Seriously? His family is shocked! Really? We don't need more gun control. We need more hate control. Obviously we can't control how people feel, but we can certainly restrict their ability to parade their hate in the streets. If we don't rein in these ever-growing hate groups we'll be having this conversation again, and again, and again.
Po